Embracing Sisterhood: Helping Young Women Successfully Transition into Relief Society Spring 2003 Open House Bonnie D. Parkin Relief Society General Presidency Introduction Thank you for your time and commitment to your callings and for your love of the Lord. We have spent the last few months seeking guidance for our message to you. We pray that you'll be inspired, encouraged, and uplifted in a way that will not only bless your individual lives, but will also bless the lives of those good sisters you serve. Protecting Families Relief Society's fourth objective is to strengthen and protect families. While we live at a time when the forces of evil prey upon the family, we are blessed by prophets, seers, and revelators. Recently, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles sent each Church unit a video entitled, "Protect the Child." It defines child abuse, discusses its devastating consequences, and explains the duties of members and leaders toward the abused and the abusers. Each ward and stake council was directed to view and discuss this information. If you have not seen it, we encourage you to speak with your priesthood leaders and ask if it might be included in an upcoming council meeting. Presidency Meetings Sisters, did you know that as a Relief Society general presidency we hold weekly presidency meetings? We have found the benefits of consistently holding these meetings are numerous and include: Deeper unity among presidency members. Honest, unhurried communication. Purposeful planning. Better understanding of our responsibilities. Spiritual insights regarding the needs of women and families. In short, our presidency meetings spiritually prepare us for success. As a Relief Society general presidency we are concerned that regular presidency meetings are not happening as they should. If you're struggling in this area, you are missing out on some great blessings! What are the components of an effective presidency meeting? Here are some thoughts: Be regular. Use an agenda (see Church Handbook of Instructions, 314). Share a scripture. Pray. Discuss a section from the handbook. Focus on needs—collective and individual. Delegate assignments. Return and report on previous assignments. Transition The purpose of our message is to share with you what we have heard, what we have seen, and what we think will make a difference in the lives of young adult women in transition. Sister Tanner: "Sister Parkin, I found this beautiful statue that would look great in your office. Here, catch!" Sister Parkin: "No. Don't throw it!" Sister Tanner: "Why not? I'm in a big hurry." Sister Parkin: "It's way too precious. It might break. Then it would be gone forever." Sister Tanner: "OK. I'll do it right." (Wraps it up and carefully hands it to her.) Sister Parkin: "Thank you. I will really treasure this. It's a beautiful piece and worth so much. I'll take good care of it in every way." Sister Tanner: All of us are working with something far more precious than this statue—beautiful young women and young adult women. Somewhere in their late teens and early young adult life we are losing them. It is our sacred responsibility as leaders in Young Women and Relief Society, along with families, to make sure they are not falling through the cracks. It takes a team effort, a whole ward, to do it. Sister Parkin and I love these young women so much. We feel so strongly about a unified approach in helping them make the transition from young womanhood into fully active, participating adult women. The Young Women leaders need to do everything they can in meetings, in lessons, and in activities to prepare the girls for further growing experiences. They need to be positive in their conversations about older women in the ward and adult activities. They need to involve the young sisters in compassionate service right in their own wards so they can serve their sisters of any age. There is no room for being territorial about our auxiliaries. Sister Parkin: That's right. Ultimately, all women—young or old, Primary and Young Women leaders—are members of Relief Society. And all women have the responsibility of helping our young adult sisters recognize that they, too, have a place in Relief Society. We need to become acquainted with each girl, learn her name, learn about her activities and interests, and make every effort to enfold her into our sisterhood before she turns 18. These transitioning young adult women should enter Relief Society already having older friends who know them, love them, and are ready to receive them. Sometimes we act as if our two auxiliaries are on different teams! But as Sister Tanner reminds us, there is no room to be territorial; we are both on the Lord's team, with the same goals and desires, to bring souls unto Christ. Let me share the sweetness we, as a Relief Society general presidency, have experienced working with the Young Women general presidency on this critical issue of helping young women enter womanhood. Together, we have worried, fasted, cried, and prayed. We have been to the temple and experienced miracles together. We have sat in council with priesthood leaders who have listened, counseled, and helped us. We have met with the First Presidency, seeking direction on transition that would bless the lives of young adult women. We have received a witness of the Spirit that our efforts must improve. Sisters Tanner, Beck, and Dalton are women of great faith. They love the Lord, they love Young Women, and they love Relief Society. I believe it is no coincidence that before her call as Young Women general president, Sister Tanner was on the Relief Society general board, and I served in the Young Women general presidency. Sister Tanner and I understand both sides of the transition issue! We are committed to working together and are united in our efforts. First Presidency Letter on Transition A letter from the First Presidency regarding helping young women with the transition into womanhood has been approved and sent to all priesthood leaders. Accompanying this letter dated March 19, 2003, are suggestions that came after much thought, discussion, and prayer. Priesthood leaders have been asked to share this letter and the accompanying suggestions with Young Women and Relief Society leaders. We would like to share one statement from the letter. Sister Tanner: "In an effort to improve this transition, the process must begin well before a young women turns 18 … Sister Parkin: . . . and continues after she enters Relief Society." We invite you to unite with your Young Women and priesthood leaders to strengthen and support our young adult sisters in transition. Our beloved prophet, President Hinckley, said to us as a presidency that "Our women . . . need fellowship with one another in an environment that will bolster their faith. That's the work of Relief Society." Certainly we all believe that every sister must feel needed, included, valued, and loved, regardless of personal circumstance. However, many of us know that this ideal is not every sister's reality. Let me share the honest thoughts of one Relief Society sister: "I have sensed that many older women in Relief Society don't want to be bothered by reaching out to the young women, and many middle-aged women who have been serving outside of Relief Society don't want to go back once they are released. I wonder if the pattern of sisterhood we have today is not allowing us to be unified as sisters in the gospel. I wonder if this fragmentation is keeping us from becoming a true sisterhood. I like the Lord's counsel on unity found in Psalms: 'Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for [sisters] to dwell together in unity!' (Psalm 133:1)." She continues: "I love our young women—many are like my own daughters. It is breaking my heart as I watch them fall away once they turn 18 because they feel they don't belong in Relief Society." Sisters, would you agree that there is truth in these observations? Are young adult women in your wards and stakes being lost because of a lack of unity? Lost, because the transition from youth to womanhood does not include successfully leaving Young Women and entering Relief Society? Let me share the thoughts of one young adult sister regarding transition: "The summer I graduated from high school I dreaded going to Relief Society. I was completely ready to leave Young Women, but I had no desire to participate in anything so old-fashioned as homemaking or visiting teaching. Some girls from my young adult ward invited me to attend their Relief Society, but instead I went with my high school friends to their ward. It wasn't until my freshman year at college that I got involved with visiting teaching and received my first Relief Society calling as the chorister. However, I continued to cringe inwardly as I looked around me at Relief Society, and I avoided going to homemaking. I didn't feel that I fit in, nor did I really want to fit in." Unfortunately, such attitudes and feelings are more common than we would like to admit. And for an organization established by God through a living prophet, that's tragic. Further, there's a domino effect that happens when we lose one young adult woman—we're potentially losing her entire future family. You see, if she leaves Relief Society before she ever enters, her children are far less likely to be a part of the Church and may become a broken link in an eternal family. Do you see what is riding on the successful transition of young adult women into Relief Society? You all know that change is one of the few constants in life! Certain changes can overwhelm us and derail our progression. But with love, support, and guidance, even the toughest moves are possible. This is especially true of the transition for young women into Relief Society. We believe that by implementing the following suggestions from the First Presidency letter—and others that you'll find in the handbook—we will be able to help young women with the transition into womanhood. Encourage mothers to help their daughters gain an understanding of the value of Relief Society. Successful transitioning of a young woman to womanhood and Relief Society begins at home. A mother's feelings about Relief Society will often determine her daughter's excitement or hesitancy to enter this wonderful "circle of sisters." How can Relief Society leaders encourage and support mothers in their efforts to engage their daughters in Relief Society? One young woman we met in the northeast area of the United States said, "I learned to love Relief Society as I stood at my mother's side and peeled potatoes for the ward dinner." Another said, "Relief Society became meaningful for me as I went with my mother to visit a woman in our ward who was ill and in need of help." Both examples illustrate the need for mothers to set an example for their daughters and include them in their Relief Society service. As Relief Society leaders, we can assist mothers by encouraging them to talk with their daughters about expectations and fears. For instance, a mother might ask her daughter questions such as these: As you think about going to Relief Society for the first time, what would a positive experience look like or feel like? What would it sound like for you? Have you thought about where you will sit? Of the women you know, who could you sit by? What could you say to the sister next to you if you don't know her? Many of the women will be much older than you. What can you learn from them? For example, Sister Smith is 75; how can knowing her make a difference in your life? What can you learn from each other? Obviously, many other questions could be asked, so think of situations in your own wards or stakes that the young women might encounter. You might encourage mothers to think with their daughters about their concerns. This method of "prethinking" or "imagining" is helpful in preparing us to encounter new or unfamiliar situations. These same kinds of questions could also be helpful to bishops as they interview soon-to-be Relief Society women. But perhaps it is not just the soon-to-be Relief Society sisters who need this "prethinking" experience. All Relief Society leaders and sisters should consider the following questions: Is Relief Society a safe place where women feel the warmth and friendliness of sisterhood? Is someone at the door to greet each sister? Are women attuned to each other well enough to look around and make sure that no sister—especially any "unknown-to-them" sister—is sitting alone? Do lesson leaders prepare in a way that invites discussion and sharing of thoughts, feelings, and experiences of young adult sisters and all sisters? Finally, is thought given to assigning visiting teaching companionships that will enable the least experienced to be mentored and taught by the more experienced? Relief Society leaders, please think carefully and prayerfully together about the role you play in helping mothers give their daughters an understanding of Relief Society. Assign a Relief Society counselor the specific responsibility of working with young adult women until they successfully make the transition into Relief Society. As a young woman turns 18, she moves from the security of the Young Women program into Relief Society, leaving behind an attentive environment filled with leaders and advisers who know her and love her and have carefully nurtured her. To ensure special attention at this critical time, ward Relief Society presidents will need to assign a counselor to minister to these young adult sisters until they successfully make the transition from Young Women into Relief Society. While the designated counselor can invite others to help her, she is specifically responsible for these young adult sisters. She might consider visiting with the mother of the new sister, as well as her Young Women leader, regarding her needs, circumstances, and talents before the young woman transitions into Relief Society. One mother who had a great love of Relief Society wanted her daughter, Lori, to experience those same feelings as she became a new member of Relief Society. Lori was shy and unsure of herself. She felt anxious in new situations. Because her mother knew and understood this, she approached the Relief Society president shortly before her daughter turned 18. She shared some helpful information—that her daughter had a great love of music and was a good pianist. What do you think happened? Lori accepted the call to be the Relief Society accompanist. Under the direction of the Relief Society president, the counselor assigned to transition might recommend a mentor be assigned to each incoming young adult sister. We heard of a sister called to serve as a mentor who was a former Beehive adviser. Because this sister had known and loved these young women from the time they left Primary and entered Young Women at age 12, she had already built a relationship with them. As Beehives, they had learned quickly of their adviser's love and sincere interest in each of them and in their goals, their interests, their challenges and accomplishments. When they moved from the Young Women program into Relief Society, their committed, newly called mentor continued to nurture and encourage just as she had done as their Beehive adviser. She telephoned them frequently, dropped encouraging notes in the mail, and always remembered their birthdays. She invited them to Relief Society activities, sat by them, and introduced them to new Relief Society friends. If they attended college or moved from home, she wrote letters. Indeed, her heart and theirs [were] "knit together in unity" through this ongoing, sweet association, which helped them with their transition from Young Women to Relief Society. Another possibility might be for the Relief Society president to consider using a Young Adult specialist. In this case, a committed, seasoned Relief Society sister also becomes the shepherd to the young flock. In units where there are more than a few young adult sisters in a ward, the specialist may recommend to the designated Relief Society counselor that a separate young adult Relief Society class be held. All sisters could join together for Relief Society opening exercises and then the young adult women could be excused for their own lessons where they might take turns teaching. This class could be held on the second or third Sunday of every month, leaving the first and fourth Sundays as a time when all Relief Society sisters meet together. This transition option may meet the needs of young adult sisters who remain in their home wards after high school. Relief Society presidents, you have a sacred charge to look after these younger sisters of Relief Society. As you delegate the responsibility to a counselor, be prayerful; counsel with your bishop; seek inspiration from the Lord. Put your arm around these young adult sisters. Don't let them fall through the cracks. President Hinckley recently said to me: "Sister Parkin, you need to help the older sisters reach out to these young sisters. Make them welcome. Can you do that?" Sisters, I told him we could. Provide new members of the Relief Society with meaningful callings, visiting teaching, and compassionate service assignments. President Hinckley's counsel for retaining new converts applies equally well to our young adult women. Who doesn't need "a friend, a responsibility, and nourishing with the good word of God"? As you think about the sisters transitioning into your Relief Society, can you identify how each is specifically receiving these three necessities? Have you ever realized that a young sister can receive all this through visiting teaching? The visiting teaching companion is the friend. The calling is the needed responsibility. And the message is the good word of God, nourishing the teacher as it nourishes the one taught. As a younger and older sister share the message together, they come to know each other's hearts. There are a myriad of blessings found in visiting teaching! Our young adult women transitioning into Relief Society need to have opportunities to be mentored by older, wiser, and more seasoned women. They need to be trained in the responsibilities of visiting teaching. Compassionate women make wonderful companions for a young adult sister. They can become a positive influence in her life. Who are such sisters? A former Young Women leader with whom the young adult sister is already familiar could be such a companion, or a neighbor, or a woman with similar interests. We need to do a better job assigning companionships where loving mentoring will occur. Our young adult sisters have testimonies and scriptural knowledge gained in Young Women and seminary. Team teaching a lesson would provide opportunities for them to share their experience and love for the Lord. Those with musical ability would be a boost to all of us! They have computer skills—where some of us have trouble even turning a computer on. Think how fast they could pop out a newsletter or bulletin! Have the Young Women and Relief Society sisters meet together occasionally in home, family, and personal enrichment meeting, with planning under the direction of both auxiliaries. Great things can happen as young women and Relief Society sisters join together in an occasional home, family, and personal enrichment meeting. Planning is critical to the success of this meeting! Remember, it is important to meet the common needs of both the young women and Relief Society sisters. How can this goal be accomplished? First, consider asking the young women what they would like to do. The Laurel president is an important resource in gathering this information. She might even serve on the planning committee. Next, determine the needs of the Relief Society sisters. Work together as Young Women and Relief Society leaders in this joint effort to serve and support sisters, both young and old. After you have gained insights and determined needs from both the Young Women and Relief Society sisters, we would then suggest using a very effective tool, Planning with a Purpose, to organize the meetings. As you make plans, ask, "What do we want to have happen for the young women?" and, "What do we want to have happen for the Relief Society sisters?" We encourage you to think beyond humanitarian projects for these occasional activities. Consider using home, family, and personal enrichment meeting to teach women of all ages provident living skills. For example, how many sisters, young and old alike, understand the food pyramid and what constitutes a well-balanced meal? Young women and more seasoned Relief Society sisters might enjoy learning how to prepare a nutritious casserole, make rolls or bread from scratch, learn budgeting strategies, or gain financial management skills. The options are endless—and the possibilities for building a unified sisterhood among women of all ages are exciting. Young women have great skills and talents to share that can strengthen Relief Society sisters. Think of all the ways we can serve and support one another. Sister Schneider, a home, family, and personal enrichment counselor in one ward, used a survey to determine the needs of Relief Society sisters. The completed surveys indicated that a number of women were interested in learning basic computer skills. They were anxious to join the 21st century, but who would teach them? Julia was the one to do it! Sister Schneider knew that Julia, a second-year Laurel, was a whiz with computers. She approached her and asked if she would be willing to teach Relief Society sisters the basics of computers and the Internet. Julia was very reluctant at first. She said: "I can't do that. I don't feel comfortable with those older women. I don't know them. I would feel inferior around them." Assuring her that she would have a positive experience and that the sisters would be very appreciative of her time and talents, Julia and Sister Schneider made arrangements to have the group meet at a local community library where six computers were available for the activity. The evening turned out to be a great success! Now, looking back on the experience, Julia said: "At first I felt nervous. Then I realized the Relief Society sisters of all ages were really interested in having me help. As we worked together, we became friends. They were not just older women I didn't know very well. I felt I was treated as their equal." This experience was a beginning of Julia's transition into Relief Society. "At the end of the evening, I felt really good," Julia added. "I was glad I could use my knowledge. In spite of our ages, I realized that we can help each other. They can teach me things I need to know and they can learn from me, too. Now I have more of a connection with these ward Relief Society sisters when I come home from college." Emphasize provident living, homemaking, and personal application of gospel principles in Mutual activities. Mutual also provides a wonderful opportunity where Young Women leaders could ask Relief Society sisters to assist in teaching a young woman skills in provident living, homemaking, and the application of gospel principles. The Young Women program has eight areas that create a balanced activity program: service, home arts, music, speech and drama, dance, literary and visual arts, camp, and sports and physical fitness. In the Church Handbook of Instructions, on page 223, ideas for activities are given for each of these areas. For example, under the topic of home arts, suggested activities include "instruction and experiences in homemaking, . . . cooking, decorating, sewing, . . . and gardening." In one ward, the Young Woman presidency asked for specialists for each of these eight areas. These specialists were all active Relief Society sisters who would provide good role models for the young women they would teach. Once a month, one of the sisters was asked to come to Mutual and provide learning experiences in her assigned area. For instance, the Laurel girls in this ward approached their leader and said, "We would like to learn to cook—just simple things we could use in an apartment with other girls when we leave home. We also want to learn to hem a skirt or a pair of pants." The sister who was called as the home arts specialist was contacted and came to Mutual on several different occasions to teach the young women in the Laurel class the skills they desired. During those teaching times she also became their friend. She became someone those young women knew, someone they could contact when they needed further assistance. She became someone who would know them when they entered the Relief Society room for the first time. Let me share one other experience of a sister who is a 65-year-old Beehive adviser. The girls in her class also wanted to know how to cook, so she taught them to make chicken noodle soup and bread. The night these 12- and 13-year-old young women gathered, along with two newly married advisers, was a great learning experience for all. The young women and the young advisers learned how to make soup—to determine when a noodle is cooked to perfection—and also baked a loaf of bread to take home. All were excited by what they had learned and had done. The story doesn't end here, however. One loaf of bread and the chicken soup went to the family of the former Beehive adviser, a young mother who had been called up with her reserve unit to serve in the Gulf region. A young father, who now has full responsibility for a family until their mother's return, gratefully received the chicken soup and bread. Lessons were learned, sisterhood shared, and service rendered, all because a 65-year-old Relief Society sister responded to the need of a group of young women. Leader's Responsibility for Transition Sisters, we've just shared with you the suggestions that accompany the letter from the First Presidency regarding helping young women with the transition into womanhood. You'll notice these suggestions are flexible and can be adapted to many different situations. We must raise the bar in our stewardships, always remembering that flexibility is vital! We know the purpose of the gospel, and we know the purpose of our callings. As we counsel together with priesthood and Young Women leaders, listening to each other with charity and concern, we will receive that heavenly guidance necessary to apply and adapt these suggestions on transition. When I accepted this calling, I said I didn't know why I'd been called, but I knew I had been called of God. Despite not having the full picture, I did know that certain things were very important to me. And one of those was our young adult women and their transition into Relief Society. In fact, over this past year, I have come to recognize that the Lord has quietly prepared me for this calling. Ten years ago, I served on the Relief Society general board and was asked by Sister Elaine Jack to chair the committee on transition. We studied what worked and what didn't. I saw in a very real way the impact this transitioning phase of life has on our young adult women, and, frankly, I was discouraged and worried. When I was called into the Young Women general presidency, I learned more fully about young women's challenges and their spiritual strengths. The young women of this Church are choice daughters of God, with hearts of gold and unlimited potential for greatness. But they face greater temptations and trials than any before them. I learned that we must be accessible to them, sharing our strength and wisdom and testimonies, lending them our hands, and helping them through their challenges. When my husband and I went to England, where he served as mission president, I met sister missionaries from around the world. Their commitment to righteousness, in spite of all sorts of challenges, was truly humbling. I watched as they came to understand the role Relief Society plays in the conversion process. As they realized that they were part of a worldwide sisterhood, it changed their view of who they were and how they served. As the leader of a young adult Relief Society class, I learned just how desperately our young sisters need Relief Society and how desperately we need them. I came to understand their world and see their happiness and heartbreaks. I also learned just how tricky it is to help these young adult women discover for themselves their place in Relief Society. One of the best ways for this to happen is by older sisters and younger sisters developing friendships, mutual appreciation, respect, and love. One Relief Society sister in her 80s mentioned how sometimes we mistakenly think that older women do all the nurturing. She emphatically said that she is nurtured by the participation of these young sisters. Reciprocal relationships don't just happen; they require careful planning so connections can occur. I have learned that when two hearts connect, age is irrelevant. We desperately need more connections between young and old. And no matter our age, our needs are the same, aren't they? As Relief Society sisters support each other, we share our faith, friendship, and love. Improving transition is a two-way street, with both Young Women and Relief Society leaders working together. When I met with President Hinckley at the time of my call, he gave me an impassioned mandate. "The older sisters in Relief Society must move out of their comfort zones," he said. "They must reach out to these younger sisters, making them feel comfortable. They need to help them learn to love Relief Society." Having the Lord's prophet give you such a mandate would certainly cement your commitment, wouldn't it? Do you realize, sisters, that as the Relief Society general president, I represent all of us as women? Thus, when the prophet gives me direction, he is also giving it to you. Adjustments to our programs—how we meet together, schedule activities, interact, and so forth—will certainly help improve the situation for our young adult sisters. But, ultimately, like all aspects of the gospel, improvement comes from one-on-one relationships. Sometimes we only need one other person to understand us and love us in order to make it through a difficult time. Will you choose one young adult woman that you're going to connect with? And when she's not there, will you find out why? Maybe you invite her to lunch or write her a note celebrating a success. Maybe you sit by her each week, or invite her to sit by you. The possibilities for one-on-one connections are endless. But any effort you employ makes a difference—and the more consistent, the better. I can't tell you exactly how to make these connections, but the Lord can, and He will. Lead your older sisters to do likewise by example, by encouragement, by persuasion, by genuine love and concern. As leaders at the general level, we are 100 percent united on the importance of and approach to transition. We must improve our efforts! As sisters in Zion, we must follow the prophet, move out of our comfort zones, and rescue those who are drifting away. Listen to this story that demonstrates what can happen when we change our "pattern of sisterhood." Sister Julie Beck, first counselor in the Young Women general presidency, shared this wonderful story with me. See if you can spot the elements employed to improve transition. Sister Beck's daughter, Gerilyn, had turned 18. That uncharted time of moving from the safety of Young Women to the unknown waters of Relief Society had finally arrived. Gerilyn had been invited to her first Relief Society activity and wasn't very excited about it. But Sister Beck encouraged her, and together they went to the gathering. The Relief Society president must have been inspired, because this get-together didn't focus on how to use canned wheat or how to mend quilts. Instead, it was a get-to-know-you evening with the new young adult women who were coming into Relief Society. As they entered, each sister took a wrapped hard candy from a bowl at the door. Everyone that got a red one sat in the red group, and a green one put you in the green group, and so on. And as luck (or the Lord) would have it, 18-year-old Gerilyn was assigned to a group with Gwen, Caroline, and Marilou—three gray-haired sisters, all over 60! Of course Gerilyn knew who they were, but she didn't know them at all. As soon as she realized her fate, she gave her mother a panicked look, the kind that says, "Where's the ejection seat?!" But Sister Beck just smiled and said, "Oh, you'll be fine." Left without excuses, Gerilyn went and sat down with these sisters from a generation long ago. Sister Beck was soon caught up in the conversations of her table and forgot Gerilyn's plight. Suddenly, she remembered her daughter and quickly looked across the room to the red table. What was happening amazed her: the gray hairs and the blond hair appeared to be having a splendid time! Later, on their way home, Sister Beck asked Gerilyn how her night had been. Was it as awful as she had expected? Gerilyn quickly replied, "Oh, Mom, it was so fun. I just love those ladies; they're my friends." Sister Beck was quietly surprised and asked, "What did you talk about?" "Well," said Gerilyn, "first, each of us told about our first date. And they had some really hilarious stories, worse than mine! Then we each shared an embarrassing moment, and then we told about a challenging time in our lives." Sister Beck couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Did you know that Sister Hopkin had a son who was killed in a motorcycle accident?" Gerilyn became emotional as she continued, "I'm so sad about that. I didn't know that about her. I can't imagine how hard that would be." And from that evening on, Gerilyn was fast friends with those gray-haired sisters. Even now, some 10 years later, when Gerilyn comes home to visit, Gwen, Caroline, and Marilou kiss her babies, ask for updates, and say, "Come sit by me." These women connect Gerilyn to her home. And Gerilyn values what they taught her. But the blessings of that friendship go beyond three gray-haired women and a blond. Now, whenever Gerilyn moves into a new ward, she looks to the gray-haired ladies as the stable ones, the ones with experience worth seeking out, as gems worth treasuring. And they're the ones who will call her to say she gave a great Relief Society lesson or to share a recipe. Gerilyn values their opinions and thrives on their compliments. She knows they love her. And to think that such friendships and such attitudes all began with a party and a bowl of hard candies. This is what can and should be happening in Relief Societies across the Church. And there is no reason it can't! You are incredible women. We trust you! You do not need to be told how to do everything. Work together with your Young Women and priesthood leaders. I know you will make it work. You will receive your own inspiration as to the best way to improve transition in your ward or stake. And if it starts to feel overwhelming, remember President Hinckley's supportive words: "Do the best you can." We can do this together, as sisters! Every Relief Society sister can take a young woman under her wing and get to know and love her. As it says in the book of Jude: "Of some have compassion, making a difference" (Jude 1:22). We can make and we must make a difference. God bless us to do so. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.