Primary President's Message Teach His Little Ones March 2004 Open House Coleen K. Menlove Primary General President Seven-year-old Courtney was coming home from Primary with her mother when she started singing: “I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know who I am. I know God's plan.”1 Her mother was touched and hoped Courtney understood the words of the song. So she asked, “What is God's plan?” Courtney quickly replied, “To be clear and clean.” Think about her reply. This is the purpose of Primary—to teach children to be clear about the gospel and to live so they will be clean in the sight of their Lord. We, who are called to serve in Primary, are a mighty force as we teach the gospel to one million children in over 26,000 Primaries throughout the world. We are making a difference as we teach children the gospel of Jesus Christ and how to live it with joy. We are the ones called to assist parents in teaching children to be clear and clean. Let's focus on three things we can do to help children learn and live the gospel: first, increase our understanding of who these children are and their needs; second, teach children as the Savior taught; and third, testify through the Holy Spirit. Understand Who These Children Are and Their Needs Think about the children you have been called to serve and how the Lord regards them. Christ's disciples came to Him asking, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”2 We do not doubt the purity and righteousness of children. At the recent São Paulo Brazil Temple rededication, 300 Primary children participated in their Day of Celebration. The children followed 1,200 missionaries while singing “Called to Serve.” These children were dressed as missionaries with small “future missionary” name tags. Also, at the dedication of the Accra Ghana Temple, hundreds of Primary children, all dressed in white, sang “I Love to See the Temple.” Tears swell in our eyes wherever children gather and sing the simple truths of the gospel. One of the great blessings of being called to serve in Primary is the opportunity to be in the presence of children. We can feel of their innocence, joy, and delight in simple things. Most of us have been astonished by the expressions of children when they share their fresh views of the world and their spiritual insights. A mother told of an experience she had while driving home with Jacob, her five-year-old son. Jacob noticed two high school students trying to help a woman whose car was stuck in the snow. Jacob said, “Mom, stop. We need to help.” Jacob's mother reassured him that this woman had help and would be able to get her car out. Jacob innocently asked, “Mother, what would Jesus do?” We can learn so much from children as we observe and listen to them. We can learn about humility and trust. Children are teachable and persistent. They are not yet skilled at most of the things they do, yet they keep trying to tie their shoes, ride a bike, read, or use the latest computer technology. And children love an audience to cheer them on while they are learning. Adults, on the other hand, generally avoid doing things that are difficult for them, especially if someone else is watching.3 We can observe, appreciate, and even strive to emulate these childlike qualities. I believe those who spend time with children become better and more sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit. When we really listen to children, we can gain valuable insights about what they are experiencing. In preparation for this message, children were asked to share their feelings about Primary and what they are learning. I would like to share throughout this message what I am learning from children. I would also encourage you to ask children about their experiences and their feelings. The more we understand children, the better we can plan and adapt our teaching of gospel principles to their needs. Learning the normal developmental characteristics of children will help us in planning age-appropriate lessons and activities to help them develop testimonies of Jesus Christ. The Church has produced resources to help parents and teachers. Teaching, No Greater Call, pages 110–16, and the information found in the front of each Primary lesson manual can help us increase our understanding of children and evaluate if we are using appropriate teaching methods. A visit with parents can also provide information to help us better understand and teach their children. Primary children are always in transition from one stage to another. About the time we think we are beginning to understand their needs, they are entering a new stage of development. As children enter the nursery class, they are leaving parents who may have difficulty leaving them. Parents visiting in the nursery often say they are surprised at how capable these little ones are of learning important principles of the gospel. Children in the nursery class are preparing to become Sunbeams. Sunbeams, who in January sometimes fall asleep on their chairs or the teacher's lap, will be, in just a few weeks, bouncing up and down, singing “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.” Typically, positive and happy emotions are close to the surface for these little ones. At this age, children lead with their hearts and are especially sensitive to things of the Spirit. Sunbeams learn to pray in church and to give their first talk. They will then transition into the CTR classes, where they prepare to be baptized and learn to be accountable for their choices. As children transition into the Valiant classes, they are still in the process of conversion. They are maturing in their interests and capabilities, as illustrated by Thomas. After attending his first sharing time with the older children, Thomas said, “Now we don't just sing songs and take things off a tree. We do real things.” Even though many of the older children are eager to advance into the youth programs, Primary can still offer meaningful experiences to help them learn and practice living the gospel. In sharing time and during class, we give them opportunities to understand, in greater depth, gospel principles and encourage them to apply them in their lives. Activity days can also give additional opportunities to apply gospel principles. Think about what is happening developmentally for these older children. They are capable of understanding more complex ideas and principles and putting them into practice. They are able to make judgments about the rightness and wrongness of what they are learning and doing. Peers have a stronger influence upon them at this age. They need opportunities to develop wholesome friendships. Valiant-age children need responsibilities and opportunities to make contributions on the level of their abilities. We can help them understand we love them and desire to help them become righteous young men or righteous young women, and that through the teachings and promised blessings of the gospel, they can have great hope for their future. Teach as the Savior Taught The Savior demonstrated His love for children many times in the scriptures, but the account that most often comes to mind is in 3 Nephi 17, when the resurrected Savior visited and taught the Nephites. The Savior gathered the children and showed His love as He blessed them one by one. He prayed for them, and the heavens opened and angels encircled the little ones and ministered to them with the power of the Holy Ghost so they might understand the things of the kingdom and receive a testimony. The Savior loved the children then, and He loves the children today. He has called us to serve Him by loving and teaching His little ones. “And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. . . . It is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.”4 We follow the example of the Savior when we gather the children in Primary, show our love for them, pray for them, teach them, and then testify of the Savior through the Holy Spirit. We, like the Savior, can feel great joy in the presence of His little ones as we teach them. Gather Children in Primary Children love coming to Primary. I am grateful to you for creating such a wonderful place where children feel welcome to come and learn about the Savior and how to follow Him. When I ask children what they like about Primary, they say, “Sharing time, singing, being with friends, and my teacher.” Sister Gayle Clegg shared that she overheard a child pointing to a woman in a ward meeting and saying to her mother, “Look, that lady is Primary.” For many children you are Primary. They look to you for a warm welcome, a feeling of acceptance and love, and an opportunity to be taught the gospel. Truly, you are the ones who make a difference for the children in your stakes and wards. We reach out to all children in our neighborhoods. We invite them to come to Primary on Sunday and to midweek activities. We reach out to parents and invite them to bring their children to Primary. We invite parents to Primary when their children are participating by praying or speaking. We also invite parents and neighborhood families to come to and be part of the children's sacrament meeting presentation. Help Children Feel Loved Jesus Christ set the example of how we show love one to another. Because we love the Lord and love His children, we offer the children in our wards and neighborhoods the hand of a caring adult. Our loving relationship with a child helps them to feel the Savior's love for them. “[Love] is the most gentle yet powerful force in the world.”5 Children's lives are shaped by those who love them. Children are better able to achieve their potential when they feel Christlike love, because it allows them to see themselves as Heavenly Father sees them. A loving Primary teacher is especially important for children who face challenging circumstances in their homes. A teacher can create a bridge for children to feel the love of Heavenly Father in the absence of an earthly parent. President Gordon B. Hinckley has counseled us with regard to our relationship and responsibility for children. “Children need sunlight. They need happiness. They need love and nurture. They need kindness and refreshment and affection.”6 This is what we can offer to all children. An 11-year-old boy said, “Leaders call to remind me to come to activities. If they didn't like me, they wouldn't care if I came or not. [My teacher] makes everyone feel like a part of the lesson and includes everyone.” Children need to know they are loved, but most importantly, they need to feel loved. Children say they know and feel loved by their Primary leaders and teachers because “they treat me nice, they help me do things, they teach me, they talk to me, and they smile at me.” One child said, “Because they come every week—every week—with a good lesson. They don't try to entertain us. And they call on me, and they say they love me.” Others say they know their Primary teacher loves them because “they are interested in me, they remember my birthday, and they listen to my answers.” A girl responded, “Because she is always happy, except on her last day when she cried and said she loved us.” “You can see that they love you in their faces.” This is what we hope will happen for all children—they feel our love for God, and they feel our love for each of them. Pray for and with Children The Savior gathered the Nephites about Him and commanded them to kneel. He then knelt and prayed unto the Father for the children.7 Many children will be taught about God, His love, and His commandments and promised blessings in their homes, but some will not. We pray for all children; however, we pray with great intensity for children who will not be taught the gospel in their homes. “We pray for those . . .  [who are] smother[ed] with love, and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.”8 Children need our prayers regardless of the circumstances. We know that Satan strives to have their very souls. The prayers we offer in their behalf will help open the heavens so the blessings of protection and peace will surround them. President Boyd K. Packer taught, “When that shield [of faith] is not provided at home, we must, and we can, build it. You and the leaders and teachers then become the first line of defense.”9 Don't be discouraged by what you can't do. Pray to know what you can do. In Primary we teach children to pray and give them opportunities to express their love, gratitude, and ask for blessings. By listening to children pray, we can know their hearts. We also need their prayers. One Sunday, a few days before a copy of my conference talk was to be submitted, I received a phone call from a granddaughter, nine-year-old Katie. She said, “Grandmother, our family has been fasting and praying that you will be able to write your conference talk. Is your talk done? I am so hungry. Is it okay if I end my fast now?” I felt great peace about my unfinished talk because I knew from that moment Katie's prayer would be answered. When I have an opportunity to speak to missionaries, I generally tell them that Primary children are praying for them and reassure them that the prayers of children are answered. I also ask missionaries to pray for the children who are in the process of conversion. These young investigators need the prayers of the missionaries and their Primary teachers. Teach Children the Gospel Work in unity. As leaders and teachers we work in unity with priesthood leaders, other auxiliary leaders, and with parents to teach the gospel to children. Even though stake leaders do not directly teach the children, they have opportunities to influence those who do teach the children. Stake leaders give support by developing relationships of trust and unity, giving encouragement, and expressing appreciation to ward leaders. This was a focus of the Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting for priesthood and auxiliaries in January. When we as the Primary general presidency meet with our priesthood leaders to report the work of Primary, we always leave feeling listened to, encouraged, and appreciated. We hope you and those you lead have those same feelings. Be an example. The resurrected Savior taught the Nephites, “Hold up your light that it may shine unto the world. Behold I am the light which ye shall hold up—that which ye have seen me do.”10 We have opportunities to be examples of the light that comes into our lives as we learn and live the gospel. It has been said that the three best teachers are example, example, and example. This is especially true for children. When asked who they admire most, some of their responses were, “My Dad. He is always there to help me, play with me, and cheer me up.” “My Mom. She always sticks up for me.” And “My teacher, Sister Johnson. She cares about me.” An example is like a picture. Children learn to care about what we care about, intentionally or unintentionally. Eighteen-month-old Christopher can't identify his colors or shapes yet. However, he can recognize almost every kind of ball. Why? Because his father cares about balls—basketballs, footballs, tennis balls, and more. We can't underestimate the power of our example. Consider family circumstances. Children in our Primaries come from homes with two parents, one parent, guardians, or grandparents. They may be in a home where the gospel is lovingly taught. They may be living in challenging circumstances, or they may be somewhere in between. In the Church we teach the ideal family while acknowledging it may not be the real circumstance for many children. Teaching the ideal family situation can be helpful and healing to children in difficult situations. It helps them to develop courage when things don't seem right. The representation of an ideal family to a child of a single-parent family is not harmful; to the contrary, it offers hope. One boy said in a Primary class, “I don't have a father living with me, but when I get to be a father, I am going to be the best dad in the world.” This is what can happen when we teach the ideal. Children can find good role models in Church members, neighbors, and stories. Also, be aware that some children in these circumstances are more likely to feel greater stress and assume adult responsibilities at an early age, thus missing part of their childhood. They may be burdened by adult worries. We can make Primary a safe and welcoming place for them to be children. Children will compensate for their real situation with an understanding of who they are and the hope they have for the future. Focus on happy times and bridge to the future. The basic knowledge that they are a child of God and that they are important, worthwhile, lovable, and loved helps children know that they are more important than their circumstances. Create an effective learning environment by controlling what we can control. In Primary we plan and work to provide the best conditions for all children to learn the gospel. Such a place has appropriate space, is clean, and is visually engaging. An important consideration in planning an inviting learning environment is having the same teacher in class week after week. Every time there is a different teacher, some children may feel less secure, and other children may decide to test the limits. A well-prepared teacher in place and on time gives children the clue that they too can be settled in place and ready to learn. When children act out, we need to look at our preparations first to see if we are contributing to misbehavior. Also, distractions such as ward members walking by the room, outside noises, or not being able to hear because of a poor sound system can be cause for misbehavior. Preparing children for disruptions in their usual schedule, such as visitors arriving, will help them anticipate and expect the change. By focusing on the factors that we can control, we will create an effective learning environment for children. Children come to Primary with a variety of learning styles. Some may come with disabilities. It is important we keep focused on our similarities, such as the need to be loved and the opportunity to participate. Adaptation might mean changing the physical environment, such as rearranging the room so there will be fewer distractions. It may mean adapting the learning materials or even the way principles will be presented. It may mean additional adult or peer help. Be sure to consult with parents about the needs and strengths of their children so they can still be a part of Primary and contribute in ways meaningful to them. Remember to focus on what these children can do and then let them do for themselves what they can. Many of you have experienced a young child raising his or her hand during class to share a thought that has nothing to do with the lesson. President Thomas S. Monson taught a valuable lesson by relating an occasion when a small boy was invited into one of the rooms in the Church Administration Building. President Monson said, “I directed his attention and that of his parents to the painting of Jesus and the children. I then made a few remarks concerning the Savior and His never-failing love. I asked the boy if he had any questions. ‘Yes,' he replied seriously. ‘Brother Monson, how does a boy go about getting a little goat and a leash for it like that one in the painting?' ” President Monson said, “For a moment I was stunned by the unanticipated question, a little deflated concerning my teaching ability, but then I responded: ‘Jesus gives to you and me gifts far more important than a goat on a leash. He provides a road map to heaven. His teachings, His example, His love are far greater gifts than that offered by the world.' ”11 We too can think beyond the moment of a child's comment to words that will connect them to greater understanding. Help children be responsible for their own learning. We have looked at what we can do to help children learn the gospel. Now let's look at what children can do to take responsibility for their own learning. Ask children what they can do to behave appropriately in Primary and help everyone learn the gospel. A child might say, “I can walk quietly,” so our first rule could be, “I will show respect in Heavenly Father's house.” A child might say, “We can keep our hands to ourselves.” That could be another rule: “I will treat others as I would like to be treated.” Whatever rules are set up, every child and teacher needs to know and understand them. Rules need to be consistent week by week, child by child, and from teacher to teacher. When we communicate the rules clearly, we set expectations not only for those who follow but also for those who lead. As teachers we have a responsibility to stop inappropriate behavior and describe what was incorrect and explain the impact of this behavior on others. Then we help children choose correct behaviors. As children respond with appropriate behavior, we recognize their efforts and make positive comments about their choices. We can also explain to children how this correct behavior will help them in the future. Children take the experiences they have in Primary with them into their future. Children who have learned appropriate behavior in Primary are more likely to be successful in their youth. Different levels of intervention are necessary for the different degrees and frequency of disruption. If disruptive behavior is a continuing pattern, seek assistance from those who can help—parents and perhaps the bishopric member over Primary. One child's disruptive behavior can lead to other children not wanting to come to Primary. When children were asked what was the hardest thing about being their age, several said it was being teased or watching a friend being bullied. Remember, our goal is to help children replace disruptive behavior with appropriate behavior so children can learn the gospel. A smile and a pat on the back or a touch on the shoulder can reinforce correct behavior. You may want to call home and tell parents of the child's improved and appropriate behavior. Think about it, pray about it, work with parents, and come up with a plan together. It will take extra effort and perhaps some extra resources to follow the plan. Change not only takes time, it also takes patience. We need to be flexible and fit the plan to the child. Help children learn to live the gospel everyday with joy. Children are active. They learn by doing. In James we read, “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.”12 Children begin to establish patterns of behavior that will last them a lifetime and prepare them for eternity. Primary activities can provide children with what President Hinckley has taught, “sunshine, happiness, and refreshment.” Older children share how they feel about activity days. They say it is “fun to learn new things and pass off requirements,” and “it is fun to be with my friends and have fun.” Activity days offer children ages 8 through 11 opportunities to take responsibility for learning the gospel and for the choices they make in living the gospel every day with joy. Activities for boys are based on the Faith in God guidebooks and Cub Scouting, where Scouting is sponsored by the Church. Faith in God activities are based on suggestions and requirements in the appropriate Scouting materials. Activities for girls are also based on the Faith in God guidebooks. Ward Primary presidents, under the direction of their priesthood leaders, are responsible for ensuring that children have experiences using the Faith in God guidebooks that will help them live the gospel and develop testimonies of Jesus Christ. The ward Primary president can help activity day and Cub Scout leaders orient eight-year-old children and their parents about how the Faith in God guidebooks help children live the gospel. She can be a resource to these leaders as they plan fun and meaningful activities with a gospel focus for the children. The Primary president encourages children to earn the Faith in God Award and informs the bishopric when a child is ready to receive it. She also signs the award. The following connections will help the children have meaningful experiences: Connect what they are learning to what they do. When planning activities with the children, look for ways to connect Sunday lessons with fun, engaging, and worthwhile activities. We can develop activities that also incorporate principles taught in sacrament meetings, stake conferences, and general conferences. Help children develop ways to study the scriptures, memorize the Articles of Faith, prepare to give talks, offer more meaningful prayers, and put “My Gospel Standards,” found on the back of the Faith in God guidebooks, into daily practice. One girl said, “I read ‘My Gospel Standards' each morning as I am getting dressed. This reminds me of how to act that day.” The standard on modesty, grooming, and dress is especially important for these children in this day. The world celebrates the grungy, sloppy, skimpy, and shocking look. How will these children know how children of God present themselves unless we help them learn to live this standard and other gospel standards every day? Connect activities to home and family. Activity days could help children prepare lessons and activities to use in family home evening or other times. The most common places children say they share what they are learning, other than during family home evening, is at the dinner table or when they are in the car. One child said, “In our family, we call it the ‘Primary Minute.' ” Connect what they do to feelings of accomplishment and preparation for their future. Children need opportunities to receive recognition for their accomplishments. One child said she thinks the requirements in Faith in God are “scary” and worries she won't be able to get them done. Yet she said, “I feel good when I do them. I'm proud that I was able to accomplish it and that I really did it.” When we encourage achievement, we encourage progression. Teach them to look beyond their participation in Primary activities, and even in the youth programs, to when they will become a missionary, a husband or wife, a father or mother. Help them think about how what they are doing now will help them receive the promised blessing of returning to live with God as an eternal family someday. Testify through the Holy Spirit Testimonies should be rooted in the doctrine of Jesus Christ and expressed through the Spirit. We share our testimonies of the principles we teach and our love for the Savior. We share how knowing and living His gospel principles has blessed our lives and brought us peace and joy. This year we who serve in Primary have an incredible opportunity to teach the doctrines of the temple and to share our testimonies of the promised blessings to those who keep their covenants. The 2004 Churchwide priesthood focus for stake conferences encourages our participation in temple work and family history. President Hinckley has often said, “The great and crowning blessings of membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are those blessings which come to us in the house of the Lord.”13 Primary supports this priesthood focus. This year we teach “My Family Can Be Forever.” We attend the temple and bear witness from personal revelation of the peace and joy that comes from making and keeping temple covenants. President Packer reminds us that in these difficult times, when marriages and families are being challenged, our testimonies of eternal families can help children “look forward with hope for a happy life. They shall marry and raise families in the Church and teach their little ones what you have taught them. They, in turn, will teach their children and their grandchildren.”14  Our testimonies can help children connect to their own spiritual feelings. Children need to know we have testimonies of Jesus Christ and that our testimonies are a gift from the Spirit. We can help them identify the reverent feelings of the Spirit. A grandfather shared his experience when he gave a blessing to his very sick four-year-old granddaughter. After he had finished his blessing, the smiling child looked up at him and said, “Grandpa, that felt so good. Do it again, please.”15 We invite children to come to know for themselves that they have a loving Heavenly Father and that Jesus is the Savior. They need to know the gospel was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith and that the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets can help them live their lives so they can receive the blessings of the gospel. They, too, can gain a witness of the truth and be guided by the Holy Ghost. We invite children to share what they know and feel through the Spirit. Conclusion Together we can be a mighty force in helping children be clear about the gospel and be clean in the sight of the Lord. We are more effective in teaching children the gospel of Jesus Christ when we increase our understanding of who these children are and their needs. We may need to adjust the way we teach these children in order to follow the Savior's example in 3 Nephi 17 of gathering, praying for, showing love, teaching, and testifying of Jesus Christ. It is our challenge and opportunity to become “a little better” in our desire and efforts to teach His little ones. We bear witness of the Savior and His desire for these children to return to Him in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. References 1. “The Church of Jesus Christ,” Children's Songbook, 77. 2. Matthew 18:1–4. 3. See Marie Tuttle, “Lessons and Lifelines,” Brigham Young University 2000–2001 Speeches (2001), 25. 4. Matthew 18:14. 5. Mary Ellen Edmunds, Love is a Verb (1995), ix. 6. In Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 75; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 54. 7. See 3 Nephi 17:13, 21. 8. Marion Wright Edelman, in Brigham Young University 2000–2001 Speeches, 27. 9. “The One Pure Defense,” address given to CES religious educators, Feb. 6, 2004. 10. 3 Nephi 18:24. 11. In Conference Report, Oct. 1998, 64; or Ensign, Nov. 1998, 49; paragraph divisions altered. 12. James 1:22. 13. “Recurring Themes of President Hinckley,” Ensign, June 2000, 19. 14. “The One Pure Defense,” address given to CES religious educators, Feb. 6, 2004. 15. Betty Jo Jepsen, “Home Sets the Tone,” Ensign, Dec. 1992, 21.