Teaching Families the Value of Work and Responsibility

“A … newspaper [printed] an interview with a retired shepherd whose age is listed at 165. His name is Shirali Mislimov. He was born and has lived all his life in the Caucasus Mountains … between the Black Sea and the Caspian Sea. …

“Mislimov still chops wood. ‘I am convinced an idler cannot live long,’ he told his interviewer. …

“The article said that the old man still ‘digs around trees in an orchard, which he has replanted several times in his lifetime.’

“‘Constant work, mountain air, and moderate eating helped me reach such an advanced age,’ said Mislimov, who neither drinks nor smokes” (quoted by Wendell J. Ashton in “The Sweetness of Sweat,” Ensign, July 1971, 35).

Although most of us will not live to be 165, we should value work for the temporal and spiritual blessings it provides. President David O. McKay said, “Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success” (quoted by Franklin D. Richards in “The Gospel of Work,” Improvement Era, Dec. 1969, 101).

The best way to overcome boredom and disappointment is purposeful work that produces a positive result. Painting a fence, hoeing a garden, and digging a ditch are physical forms of work. Studying for school is also work, as is caring for others.

• What are other kinds of work?

It is important for children to learn good work habits and attitudes while they are young. These habits will likely stay with them later. They can make the difference between a useful, productive life and one that is idle and wasteful.

• Why should children learn good work habits and attitudes?

Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone told a story of how a lady taught a boy to work:

An aristocratic lady once hired a 13-year-old boy to take care of her yard and garden. After the first week she explained to him: “There are as many ways of mowing a lawn as there are people, and they may be worth anywhere from a penny to five dollars. Let’s say that a three-dollar job would be just what you have done today. … A five-dollar lawn is—well, it’s impossible, so we’ll forget about that.”

She allowed the boy to evaluate his work and decide how much she should pay him. She paid him two dollars for his first week’s effort. The boy was determined to earn four dollars the next week, but he did not do a job worth even three dollars. He worked carefully and looked for ways to make the yard better, but over the next few weeks he still could not pass the three-and-a-half dollar job. Finally, he resolved that instead of just trying for a four-dollar job, he would try to earn five dollars. He thought of all the ways he could make the yard more beautiful. He worked very hard all day long, taking out small amounts of time occasionally to rest. It took him longer than ever before, but by the time he was finished he was satisfied that he had done a job that was worth five dollars.

After carefully inspecting the yard, the lady decided that this boy had done the impossible. She praised him for his work and was glad to pay him the five dollars he deserved.

Many years later, when the boy was a grown man, he recalled how important that experience was to him: “‘Since that time, some 25 years ago, when I have felt myself at an end with nothing before me, suddenly, with the appearance of that word, “impossible,” I have experienced the unexpected lift, the leap inside me, and known that the only possible way lay through the very middle of impossible.’” (See Conference Report, Oct. 1973, 98; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, 84–86; quoted from Richard Thurman, “The Countess and the Impossible,” Reader’s Digest, June 1958.)

Children often feel that doing their best is impossible. However, as this story shows, we can challenge them to do a little better than before. We must also praise them for work well done and for good progress made. Then they do not become discouraged.

• How can we challenge and encourage our children to perform well in school? Ask a sister to tell how she encourages her children to achieve in other areas, such as music, art, or sports.

• Display visual 29-a, “A mother teaching her child to work in the kitchen.”

President Spencer W. Kimball said: “We believe in work for ourselves and for our children. … We should train our children to work, and they should learn to share the responsibilities of the home and the yard. They should be given assignments to keep the house neat and clean, even though it be humble. Children may be given assignments … to take care of the garden” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1976, 5; or Ensign, May 1976, 5).

• How does working for the benefit of the family help a child develop a sense of responsibility?

Some parents feel they had to work too hard when they were growing up. They do not want their children to feel the same way, so they do not require their children to help with work in the home. Others feel that children are too young or unskilled to help much. But many others feel it is important to have children help at home.

• What are the results of these attitudes about work?

We may wonder how to help children learn the joy of work and feel responsible toward the family. Each family’s situation is different, but children can learn to enjoy work and take responsibility in many ways.

• Display a poster of the following list or refer to the information on the chalkboard:

  1. Teach children to care for some of their own physical needs.

  2. Ask older children to teach and care for younger children.

  3. Teach children to help care for a family business.

  4. Organize family work projects.

When children enjoy work, they try harder to do better. Those who do not enjoy work often make excuses for themselves. President N. Eldon Tanner told of the difference between two messenger boys who worked for the same company: “[One boy] was interested in all that was going on. … He wanted to serve and assist others and learn what he could about the business. … He was trying to be the best messenger boy it was possible to be. … He had only been there a few months when one of the supervisors who had observed him wanted him to come with him, so he was advanced to a more responsible position. Before the end of the year he had another advancement, and he will continue to advance because of his attitude. He was prepared to go the extra mile. He was interested in his company and wanted to be of service and was dependable in every way. The other messenger boy [remained] a messenger boy. … Of course, he felt that the company didn’t appreciate him and his ability” (Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God [1973], 236–37).

• What made the difference in the success of these two boys?

Children will enjoy work when their reward is the happiness of others. President David O. McKay gave this example:

“I have seen young girls who have spent the entire day serving people on Old Folks’ Day: seeking the comfort and happiness of somebody else. I remember on one occasion when one of those young ladies came home in the evening she suddenly realized she was weary, threw herself on the cot and said, ‘My, I am tired, but do you know this has been one of the happiest days of my life.’ She had found joy in work that gave joy to others.

“Learn to like your work. Learn to say ‘This is my work, my glory, not my doom’” (Stepping Stones to an Abundant Life, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay [1971], 115–16).

Work will be fun if the child succeeds. The first few times a child does a task, an adult or older child may need to work with him or her until the child learns to do it alone. Then we should recognize the child’s success and honestly praise his or her efforts. It is too easy to focus only on the things a child does wrong, because we want him or her to do better next time. Children usually work better when we focus on the things they do right.

We can make work more pleasant by singing songs or even by turning work into a game. Parents can retell stories about their own childhood or about their ancestors. All of these activities make working together more fun. Do not forget that children need a vacation or day off now and then. If they are given a day off from chores each week, they will be more likely to enjoy work the following day. They also need time to themselves for play or other activities after their chores are done.

• Ask the sisters how they have made work more fun for their family.

To teach our children to work successfully, we must be enthusiastic about our own work. As President Brigham Young stated, “Each one will find that happiness in this world mainly depends on the work he does, and the way in which he does it” (quoted by Elwood R. Peterson, Ensign, June 1972, 9).

Talk with each of your children. Discuss your attitude and theirs about family responsibilities. Help each child take and finish assignments.

Before presenting this lesson:

1. Study Gospel Principles chapter 27, “Work and Personal Responsibility.”

2. Prepare the poster suggested in the lesson or write the information on the chalkboard.

3. Assign class members to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.