Frequently Asked Questions



Callings

Ward Relief Society Presidency

  • How often should a Relief Society president hold a presidency meeting? See Handbook 2, 9.3.2.
  • Why does the presidency meet? See Handbook 2, 9.3.2.
  • What are the counselors called to do? See Handbook 2, 9.2.2.
  • Who trains and gives ongoing support to the ward Relief Society presidency? See Handbook 2, 9.8.2 and 15.4.1.

Ward Relief Society Secretary

  • Does the secretary conduct Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 9.2.2 and 9.2.3.
  • What is the role of the secretary? See Handbook 2, 9.2.3.

Advisers to Young Single Adult Sisters

Committees

  • Are sisters who serve on committees called and set apart by a member of the bishopric? See Handbook 2, 9.2.5.

Relief Society Music Leaders and Pianists

Stake Relief Society Leadership

  • What are the responsibilities of a stake Relief Society presidency? See Handbook 2, 9.8.2 and 15.4.1. See also Handbook 2, 5.2.9.
  • Who trains a stake Relief Society presidency? See Handbook 2, 9.8.1.
    • They are trained by the stake president, using the information found in Handbook 2: Administering the Church. Additional information that can be used in training is also available at reliefsociety.lds.org.

Sisters Serving in Other Auxiliaries

  • Can sisters who serve in other auxiliaries teach classes in Relief Society and be given assignments to provide compassionate service? See Handbook 2, 9.1.4.

Councils

How do I prepare effectively to participate in a council with priesthood leaders? See Handbook 2, 9.3.1 and 4.6.1.


Dress Standards

How can we encourage our sisters to dress more modestly and appropriately for church and as they attend the temple? See Handbook 2, 9.10.2.

Refer to For the Strength of Youth, which outlines dress standards for Church members. You may also refer to the addresses and articles listed below:


Family Services

Where is help available for those who have family challenges? See Handbook 2, 10.12.4.

  • No one is immune from challenges in this life. When social or emotional challenges arise, help is available. Encourage sisters and their families who encounter the following challenges to work with their bishop, who can put them in contact with professionals from LDS Family Services.

Counseling and Resources
Information about counseling services and a library full of articles dealing with social, emotional, and spiritual challenges.

Birth Parents
Assistance for birth parents, including unwed mothers, and others facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Adoptive Couples
Help for couples interested in adoption.

Addiction Recovery Program
LDS Family Services sponsors addiction recovery support meetings to assist individuals who desire freedom from addiction and a better life through gospel fellowship.

How to Contact LDS Family Services
A comprehensive list of LDS Family Services agencies in the United States, Canada, and abroad.


Finances

Do we have a budget for Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 13.2.8, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

Can we ask sisters to pay for supplies for Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 13.2.8, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

Can we ask sisters to bring food for weekday Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 13.2.8, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.


History - Daughters in My Kingdom

Why was Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society written?

  • “In grateful recognition of the blessing of Relief Society in the lives of Church members, we have directed the preparation of Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society(“A Message from the First Presidency,” Daughters in my Kingdom, ix).

Why study the history and work of Relief Society?

  • “The history of Relief Society teaches the divine identity and infinite worth of daughters of God. … Through a study of this history, Latter-day Saints can see that our Heavenly Father knows His daughters, that He loves them, that He trusts them with sacred responsibilities” (Daughters in My Kingdom, xii).
  • “As [you] … learn from the example of those who have gone before, [you] can prevail over mortal challenges [and] … help build the kingdom of God throughout the world and in [your] homes” (Daughters in My Kingdom, 181).

How can I use the history book personally?

The influence of the history book is meant to extend beyond Relief Society meetings. (See the “For Readers” section of Daughters-in-My-Kingdom.lds.org.) Consider the following: 

  • Families may study and discuss the examples and teachings in the book together. 
  • Families may use the book as a resource for family home evening.
  • The history can help as a reference in a talk or lesson.
  • Individuals can draw on this history to enhance personal study time.
  • Relief Society sisters may share the book and principles they learn from it with their friends.
  • The book can be a resource for visiting and home teaching.
  • Stories and examples may guide sisters in establishing priorities in their lives.
  • Principles from the book can guide sisters as they write their own personal history.
  • The book can be a resource to prepare young women to enter and serve in Relief Society.
  • The book can also help young men and young women who are preparing for missions.

How can we use the history book to establish spiritual priorities?

  • “The teachings, stories, and examples in the book can guide sisters in establishing priorities and practices in their lives that will help them increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help those in need” (Daughters in My Kingdom, xiii).

What can I do to contribute to the history of Relief Society?

  • As a daughter of God, you will continue to add to the history of Relief Society through your words and actions. As you discover examples and teachings that are especially meaningful to you, you may want to record them. (See the “For Readers” section of Daughters-in-My-Kingdom.lds.org.)

Is it appropriate to use the history book for a visiting teaching message?

  • Stories and examples from Daughters in My Kingdom can be a resource for visiting and home teaching.

Questions Visiting Teachers Can Ask

The following kinds of questions can lead to opportunities for visiting teachers to give comfort, share relevant gospel teaching, and provide meaningful service:

  • What worries or concerns do you have?
  • What questions do you have about the gospel or the Church?
  • Would you allow us to help you with _______?

When asking a question like this, visiting teachers should offer to help in a specific way, such as caring for the children for a brief time, assisting with a homemaking task, or helping to run an errand. It is less helpful to say, “Call us if you need anything.” (See Daughters in My Kingdom, 115.)

How Visiting Teachers Love, Watch Over, and Strengthen a Sister

  • Pray daily for her and her family.
  • Seek inspiration to know her and her family.
  • Visit her regularly to learn how she is doing and to comfort and strengthen her.
  • Stay in frequent contact through visits, phone calls, letters, e-mail, text messages, and simple acts of kindness.
  • Greet her at Church meetings.
  • Help her when she has an emergency, illness, or other urgent need.
  • Teach her the gospel from the scriptures and the visiting teaching messages.
  • Inspire her by setting a good example.
  • Report to a Relief Society leader at least once a month about their service and the sister’s spiritual and temporal well-being.
  • Report urgent concerns immediately to the ward or branch Relief Society president.

(See Daughters in My Kingdom, 123).

Who wrote the history book?

  • In 1996 Sisters Lucile Tate and Elaine R. Harris were called and set apart to compile an unpublished history of the Relief Society. Their work was kept as a resource in the archives of the Church and served as a foundation to Daughters in My Kingdom. Susan W. Tanner was set apart in 2009 to write the first comprehensive history of Relief Society for the entire Church. Other writers, contributors, and historians are recognized through citations of their published work in the “Notes” section at the end of the book. (See Daughters in My Kingdom, xiv, 186-93.)

Is Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society in chronological order?

  • “This book is not a chronological history, nor is it an attempt to provide a comprehensive view of all that the Relief Society has accomplished. Instead, it provides a historical view of the grand scope of the work of the Relief Society. Through historical accounts, personal experiences, scriptures, and words of latter-day prophets and Relief Society leaders, this book teaches about the responsibilities and opportunities Latter-day Saint women are given in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness” (Daughters in My Kingdom, xii).

Is there information online about Daughters in My Kingdom?

I haven’t received my history book. When will it be distributed?

  • Copies of Daughters in My Kingdom will soon be received by wards and branches and will be distributed to all adult women by the bishopric or branch presidency. (See the August 1, 2011, First Presidency letter to priesthood leaders.)

Can I share the book with friends who are not members of the Church?

  • “President Kimball testified that Relief Society sisters will become a powerful influence for good upon the ‘good women of the world’ as they ‘reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives’” (Daughters in My Kingdom, 50). Relief Society sisters can share principles and stories from the book. As inspired by the Spirit and as individual circumstances allow, sisters may also wish to purchase extra copies of the book to share with others.

How do we get extra copies if we don’t have enough?

  • Copies of Daughters in My Kingdom will be available through Church Distribution centers and store.lds.org.

What if I lose my book? How do I get another copy?

  • Copies of Daughters in My Kingdom will be available through Church Distribution centers and store.lds.org soon after wards and branches have received their copies.

Is Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society available in hardback?

  • The history is available only in paperback.

Is the book available in audio?

  • Audio information will be provided as soon as it is available.

Will the history book be translated?

  • Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society will be translated into 23 languages.

Frequently Asked Questions for Leaders

How can we use the book to build sisters' testimonies?

  • As a leader, your spiritual preparation will help you serve as an instrument in the hands of God to help His daughters. Seek the Spirit as you consider drawing from the principles in Daughters in My Kingdom in your Relief Society service. Find examples and stories from the history that will increase faith and testimony. (See Daughters-in-My-Kingdom.lds.org and ReliefSociety.lds.org, “Daughters in My Kingdom—For Leaders.”)
     
  • “As sisters learn from the history of Relief Society, they may discover examples, expressions, and principles that are especially meaningful to them. Inspired by these discoveries, … they can seek, receive, and act on personal revelation” (Daughters in My Kingdom, xiii).

How can I use the history book for Relief Society meetings?

  • Daughters in My Kingdom is an approved resource to support the teaching of gospel principles for Sunday and additional Relief Society meetings. Use the history book as you consider and counsel together about the approved topics listed in Handbook 2, 9.4.1 and 9.4.2. (See ReliefSociety.lds.org, “Daughters in My Kingdom—For Leaders.” ) 

As a presidency, how can we use the history book to help orient new sisters coming into Relief Society?

  • The history book is a valuable resource to use to help sisters understand the work of Relief Society. Relief Society leaders show their love and interest as they embrace, teach, orient, and engage these sisters in the work of Relief Society through callings and meaningful assignments.
     
  • New sisters can be encouraged to study Daughters in My Kingdom during their personal study time in order to help them understand and learn their responsibilities in God’s kingdom. (See the “For Readers” section of Daughters-in-My-Kingdom.lds.org.)

Where can I find more information on how to use the history to help the sisters in my ward or branch?

  • See ReliefSociety.lds.org, “Daughters in My Kingdom—For Leaders.”

Is Daughters in My Kingdom the curriculum for next year?

  • Although the history book is not the designated curriculum for 2012, it is an inspired, approved resource for Sunday lessons to support the teaching of the gospel. (See the "Sunday Relief Society Meetings" section of Daughters-in-My-Kingdom.lds.org.)

Leadership Meetings

How often should we hold stake Relief Society leadership meetings? See Handbook 2, 18.3.11.


Military Families

What does a ward Relief Society president need to know to effectively counsel with the bishop to support military families?

The following are suggestions from spouses of active military service members:

  • Consider receiving priesthood blessings.
    • “I don’t know how our family could have made it through my husband’s five deployments to Iraq without priesthood blessings.”
  • Military families need to know that they are not alone. Find out about a sister’s support system. Does she have a good relationship with her parents? Does she have friends? Does she have a calling that is not isolating, but gives her plenty of interaction with strong sisters? Here are some ideas to support the sister:
    • “In a ward, I formed a playgroup that met each week at a park. We got together and talked about our common struggles and supported each other.”
    • “As a Relief Society service project we made care packages for all our deployed servicemen. We included in the package notes from the Primary, the Young Women, and the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood quorums.”
    • Keeping in frequent communication with military families is essential.
    • Home teachers or other priesthood holders could invite children of deployed military families to participate with them in various activities.
    • Visiting teachers may care for the children of military families occasionally or exchange babysitting. “That time away lifted my spirits and it helped me to be more patient. I looked forward to it all week like a light at the end of the tunnel.”
    • Encourage other families, or older couples, to adopt a military family during deployment. Lift, love, and serve them. Remember them in your prayers, invite them to dinner, celebrate special events, and include them in service opportunities.
    • Ward leaders are encouraged to be aware of the deployment status of the military spouse and particular needs of the family.
    • Assign home teachers and visiting teachers who will keep priesthood and Relief Society leaders up-to-date on the needs of the family.
    • The Relief Society presidency should arrange a children’s class or nursery to allow mothers of young children to attend Relief Society meetings held on days other than Sunday.
    • Consider inviting a military spouse to teach a class on self-reliance for a Relief Society meeting, class, or workshop.
    • Encourage sisters in the ward to make a sustained effort to befriend new military families, even those who will be living in the ward for only a short period of time.
    • Be sensitive to the special needs that occur during the adjustment period when military service men and women return home.

New Relief Society Sisters (Transition)

Who are the new Relief Society sisters? See “New Relief Society Sisters” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

There are three groups of new Relief Society sisters:

  • Young women who turn 18 and come into Relief Society
  • New converts
  • Sisters who return from inactivity

How do we orient a new Relief Society sister? See “New Relief Society Sisters” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

  • It is the responsibility of the Relief Society presidency to look after each new Relief Society sister. With the help of your secretary, identify the new sisters entering Relief Society. Relief Society leaders show their love and interest as they embrace, teach, orient, and engage these sisters in the work of Relief Society through callings and meaningful assignments.

How does the new quarterly report help a Relief Society presidency shepherd young single adult sisters? See Handbook 2, 9.2.3 and “New Relief Society Sisters” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

  • Come to ward council prepared to inform priesthood leaders on the number of sisters not attending Relief Society. Report on the efforts you are making to seek after and bring them back to activity and to help them receive their endowment in the temple.

If the young women and Relief Society meet together for opening exercises, who conducts? See Handbook 2, 9.7.1.

Where can we find guidelines to help young women make the transition to Relief Society? See Handbook 2, 9.7.2.


Relief Society and Personal Progress

Should Relief Society sisters be working on an achievement program such as Personal Progress?

  • Personal Progress is a goal-setting program for young women ages 12 to 18. Relief Society sisters should encourage all children and youth to set and achieve righteous goals. Mothers of children and youth are invited to help their young women with Personal Progress, their Primary-age children to work on Faith in God, and their young men to complete Duty to God. Instructions can be found in the Personal Progress book regarding Relief Society sisters who are serving as Young Women leaders, sisters who are assigned to assist a young woman with Personal Progress, and mothers of young women who want to work with their daughters on Personal Progress.
     
  • Relief Society sisters should set and achieve worthy goals in their own lives as they progress toward eternal life. Relief Society sisters who would like to work on a goal-setting program could consider completing the Pursuit of Excellence program, or they could design their own goals. Chapter 8 of Preach My Gospel is an excellent resource for learning how to set and report personal goals. In setting goals, sisters are reminded that Relief Society has a significant and inspired purpose and work. Each sister is to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help those in need. Each sister accomplishes these personal responsibilities as she seeks and acts on personal revelation. Most of the good work Relief Society sisters accomplish is not publicly recognized. Relief Society sisters should not be made to feel that they are required to work on a goal-setting program, nor should Relief Society leaders purchase Personal Progress books for Relief Society sisters.

Sunday Meetings and Lessons

Do we have the “Good News Minute?” See Handbook 2, 9.4.1, and “Sunday Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What should be taught in the first Sunday lesson of the month? See Handbook 2, 9.4.1, and “Sunday Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What materials are used for the second and third Sunday lessons of the month? See Handbook 2, 9.4.1, and “Sunday Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What materials are used for the fourth Sunday lesson of the month? See Handbook 2, 9.4.1, and “Sunday Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.


Temple Clothing

How do we use and care for sacred clothing? See Handbook 2, 21.1.42.

What procedures are followed to dress a deceased endowed member? See Handbook 2, 9.10.3 and 3.4

  • For more information, your priesthood leader can order the booklet Instructions for Clothing the Dead Who Have Received Their Endowments.All other questions about temple clothing and temple garments or about dressing deceased endowed members should be directed to the Temple Clothing office at 1-801-240-3333.

Visiting Teaching

Who organizes visiting teaching? See Handbook 2, 9.5.2.

Do we visit each month? See Handbook 2, 9.5.1, 9.5.3.

Is group visiting teaching acceptable? See Handbook 2, 9.5.2.


Additional Relief Society Meetings

What do we call the counselor who is responsible for additional Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 9.4.2, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What do we call the sister who coordinates Relief Society meetings that are held during the week? See Handbook 2, 9.4.2, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What do we call Relief Society meetings that are not held on Sunday?

  • Individual Relief Society meetings that are held during the week can be called whatever they are: Relief Society service, classes, projects, conferences, or workshops.
     
  • Examples of how Relief Society meetings can be announced: "This Thursday we will have a Relief Society meeting at 7:00 p.m. Our meeting this month will include a variety of classes to help us improve homemaking skills"; "We will have a Relief Society workshop this next month about how to be better parents"; "On Saturday we will have a Relief Society conference"; or, "We will have a Relief Society service project this coming month."

Who takes care of the children when additional Relief Society meetings are held? See Handbook 2, 9.4.2 and 11.8.1.

How often should we meet for additional Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 9.4.2, and “Additional Relief Society Meetings” at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What can we do in weekday Relief Society meetings? See Handbook 2, 9.4.2.

What is the policy about overnight activities for sisters? See Handbook 2, 13.6.12.


Welfare

What are my welfare responsibilities as a Relief Society president? See Handbook 2, 9.6, and the Welfare page at reliefsociety.lds.org.

What is a family-needs visit and what are the Relief Society president’s responsibilities regarding the visit? See Handbook 2, 9.6.1.

What is my responsibility in Relief Society with regards to literacy, and where do I find information? See Handbook 2, 9.6.3.