A father was out flying a kite with his son. He had let nearly all of the string out. As the son saw the kite go higher and higher, he said, “Dad, let it fly clear up to the sky!” This wise father, seeing an opportunity to teach a great lesson, replied, “Oh, no, son. If we were to let go of the string the kite would fall down immediately. Son, remember that we have to keep a hold on it to keep it up. Sometimes the things that hold you down are the things that hold you up!”

President A. Theodore Tuttle of the First Council of the Seventy, in General Conference Address, April 1967

Irishman: “Don’t you believe all you read in the press about the disturbances in Belfast. I have a regular job there and an exciting life.”

Englishman: “What do you do?”

Irishman: “I’m a rear gunner on a bread van.”

“It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.”

—Seneca

When asked if he were going to have kipper for breakfast one morning in England, Elder Gordon B. Hinckley replied, “No, not this morning. It makes you strong physically but weak socially.”

My husband, city bred and used to every modern convenience, agreed to pay my Aunt Anna a weekend visit at her home in upper New York State. When we arrived, he distastefully viewed the lack of plumbing and electricity in the clean four-room house. When we retired, the old iron bed creaked as we raced to get under the feather cover to get warm. Suddenly Aunt Anna knocked on the door. “If there is anything you need,” she said, “just let me know. I’ll tell you how to live without it.”

Dorothy Marshall
Indian Rocks Beach, Florida

After a breakfast of fresh-cracked wheat cereal from the year’s supply, a mother chided her little daughter for not eating all of her cereal. “But Mother, haven’t you noticed? I’ve been putting on too much wheat lately.”

Dr. and Mrs. Reed R. Hawkes
Los Angeles, California

Intending to both compliment and acknowledge the newly released Sunday School superintendent, his replacement happily thanked him by saying, “We want to thank you for the fine job you did for the Sunday School and we’re glad to see you’re out.”

Rich Wheeler
Draper, Utah

Primary is where you go to do with somebody else’s mother the things you would do with your own mother if she weren’t so busy teaching Primary.

Mary Ann Evans
Hartsdale, New York

The Rare Type

By Mildred Barthel

I’ve been wondering—

Have you noticed it’s hard to

Find things that read with laughter?

Oh, I don’t mean

The behind-your-shoulder

Sneer-and-leer type,

Or the

Scarring-scandal quip,

Snicker-curl-your-lip type.

I’m thinking of the

Good-natured release, the safety-catch

Type of laughter that

Opens pages of self-understanding by

Revealing paragraphs of humorous human

Self-folly in a way that is

Humanly jolly. And when I finish reading,

I can like myself—

And better still, you.

Perfection

By Virginia Maughan Kammeyer

I go my way without mistake;

I live the gospel perfectly.

The laws and rules I never break.

Why don’t you try to be like me?

When bold corruption rears its head

And sinful pleasures pass my view,

I look the other way instead.

I’m never tempted; why are you?

In purity and righteousness

I live my life from evil free.

Every virtue I possess,

And that includes humility.

Sunday Separation

By Maureen Cannon

The father of my sons can trust

His sons’ behavior. Calm and just

And Sunday-smiling, he will not demean them,

Or scold, or carp, or criticize.

Instead, my love is wondrous wise:

He’ll simply, separating, sit between them!