When I was expecting our second child, my husband bought me some material for a new maternity dress. Later, while I was balancing the checking account, I noticed he labeled the expenditure “for expansion program.”

Chris Fuller Chandler, Arizona

In the early days of the Young Ladies Retrenchment Society (YWMIA) attendance was rather sparse at some of the meetings. In one ward only two girls were in regular attendance: the president and the secretary. Notwithstanding, these two stalwarts opened the meetings, called the roll, and had a program prepared. In recording the minutes, the secretary always added, “There was a large and respectable congregation present.”

In an explanation she appended, “… the president was large, and I surely was respectable.”

Lester H. Belliston Ogden, Utah

Recently our branch began printing a weekly bulletin for Sunday School and sacrament meetings. Errors were made occasionally concerning the songs, speakers, or the order of business. However, the one mistake that caused us the most embarrassment was a simple typographical error. It read: “Speakers: Stale High Councilmen.”

Mary Lou Humphrey Rainier, Oregon

For a civil defense mock air raid, our Scouts were asked to act as wounded persons, but first aid workers fell badly behind schedule. One of our Scouts waited for over an hour for “medical aid,” and when it finally arrived, all that could be found was a scrawled note: “I bled to death and went home.”

Don Epperson Austin, Texas

During the Christmas holidays, my husband and I were overwhelmed in Church and business activities and consequently had spent a number of evenings out. It was our two-year-old who finally brought us up short and let us know we’d been away from home too much. When we showed him a picture of Mary and the infant Jesus, he identified them as “Jesus and his babysitter.”

Jane Ward Portland, Oregon

After eighteen years of civil marriage, my parents’ dream of being sealed for eternity in the temple was finally realized. It was a humbling and momentous occasion.

On our return from the temple, Dad sat smiling fondly at Mother and commented that he felt like a newlywed with his “new little bride.” It was then that my teenage brother candidly commented, “Yes, and I’ve been wondering when you are going to have my baby shower.”

Mrs. Jerry Maple Minden, Nevada

Members of our ward were surprised recently to hear one sincere brother pray, during his benediction, “… and bless all those who are sick of our ward.”

Karen Jones Hooper, Utah