Brother Graven and I were discussing our faith with a nonmember fellow employee. I began to explain that in our religion we don’t worship graven images, but Brother Graven interrupted: “I serve seven graven images—my wife and six children!”
The bishop of a neighboring ward is a top-notch salesman of industrial equipment. On a recent sales trip, he was extolling the virtues of a certain line to a customer who is also a Church member. As the bishop concluded his sales talk, he said, “I hope you believe all this.”
“Oh, I do,” replied the customers “as far as it is translated correctly!”
Helen S. Phillips
As Relief Society president, I was making a request for visiting teachers to travel to Temple, a town about forty miles away. One sister, unfamiliar with the area, was heard to remark, “Visiting teaching? I knew we did baptisms for the dead there, but visiting teaching?”
Fort Sill, Oklahoma
I recently took my four-year-old son to a local museum that had a number of Egyptian mummies on display. I read him the names of the different mummies and told him that they were high priests in Egypt a long time ago. That night at supper, his father asked him where mummies came from. Without hesitation, he replied that they were old, dead bishops.
Marie E. Salisbury
San Jose, California
My roommate was preparing some forms for her student teaching packet and asked me to read a short autobiography that listed her activities. I found her qualifications as a teacher were excellent, but she needed more experience in typing: “I have participated in the LDS Church in such areas as MIA Beehive teacher, sports director, and leading the sinning.”
Our ward was holding a dinner to raise funds for the welfare assessment. The elders quorum president, while conducting a short program, had an idea for raising a few extra dollars. He asked the members what they would give if our recently appointed bishop sang a solo. The bishop, taken by surprise, looked uneasy as the bids climbed higher—three, four, then five dollars. But the song was never heard, as one sister offered, “Ten dollars if he doesn’t!”
Middletown, Rhode Island
It isn’t unusual in Salt Lake City for automobiles to have special racks for carrying skis to the nearby slopes. But I was a little puzzled when Sister Strong’s little blue Volkswagen appeared with a ski rack. Somehow, even with her vim and vitality, she just did not seem the type to take up skiing at her age. But the mystery was cleared up on homemaking day in Relief Society. Independent Sister Strong deftly fastened quilt frames into the ski holders on the back of her car and zipped happily off to the cultural hall.
Salt Lake City, Utah