Judging from the hundreds of Mirthright submissions we receive, children all over the Church are continually making the same delightful mistakes as they come to grips with gospel terminology. This month’s Mirthright consists of the most-often-submitted anecdotes. Number one is the undisputed winner of the frequency contest, and all quips are listed in order of frequency. So enjoy them—with our thanks to all those who have taken the time to write in, and a warm reminder to one and all: We’ve heard these before!

1. Johnny to mother: “Mommy, is today fast Sunday or slow Sunday?”

2. Mother: “Susie, do you know the name of your doctor?”

Susie: “Yes. His name is Doctor n’Covenants!”

3. Sally: “I want to sing the song about the dishes.”

Mother: “Dishes? What song is that?”

Sally, singing: “The golden plates lay hidden. …”

4. Father: “Soon we will be ready to be sealed together in the temple.”

Billy: “How will we move after we’re sealed? We’ll all be stuck together!”

5. Mother: “Daddy and I are going to the temple to do sealings tonight.”

Judy: “Will you do the floors and the walls too?”

6. Child singing “In the Leafy Treetops”: “In my lovely garden the flowers are naughty. …”

7. Child praying in Sunday School: “And please bless those who have repaired the lessons. …”

8. Teacher: “Does anyone know the name of our bishop?”

Freddie: “I know! I know! His name is Bishop Rick!”

9. Grandpa: “And just what do you do in opening exercises in Junior Sunday School?”

Tammy: “That’s where we go to exercise our mouths!”

10. (This joke came in frequently during the 1976 election year) TV: “We encourage you all to vote in today’s primary elections.”

Eddie: “Mommy, mommy! Those men go to Primary too!”

11. Cindy, singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”: “Good tithings we bring, to you and your kin. …”

12. Child singing “Ere You Left Your Room”: “Did you air the room you left this morning? …”

13. Jimmy: “I was born in the covenant.”

Timmy: “Why weren’t you born in a hospital?”

14. Teacher: “Janie, won’t your brother turn twelve soon?”

Janie: “Yes, and when he does he’s going to be ordained a demon!”

“Girls! Girls! That’s not exactly what Paul meant by ‘Thou shalt greet thy brother with an holy kiss’!” (Illustrated by Julie Fuhriman.)