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These 7 Questions Can Save Your Marriage (Even before It Starts)

By Faith Sutherlin Blackhurst

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    “We’re in love, so we must be compatible!” You may not hear many people say that out loud—but a lot of people think it, if only subconsciously.

    When you’re in a relationship that could lead to marriage, it’s easy to assume (or blindly hope!) that your standards and goals will blend flawlessly to create a happy family. But sometimes it’s not that simple. You would benefit from a good Q&A session with yourself, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or a newlywed spouse about what you truly want and the vision you have for your future family.

    For the soon-to-be (or recently) married: Answer the questions below with your significant other to discover if you are on the same page and discuss how to become more united in your goals.

    If you’re not currently serious enough with anyone to do this together, don’t worry; the questions still apply to you! By developing your own vision now, you will recognize more quickly if your plans align with a future potential spouse.

    Consider and discuss the following questions:

    1. What is our overall vision for family life and our eternal family? What is most important to each of us?

    2. What goals could we set that will help us achieve this vision?

    3. Are there any conflicts between the two visions we have for family life? Why do they exist? Are either of us willing to compromise?

    4. How will we support each other through our academic, professional, and family life?

    5. How will we share and/or divide household labor?

    6. What are we willing to sacrifice for our families?

    7. How can we play different roles in the family but still maintain an equal partnership?

    Your vision doesn’t have to match up perfectly with your companion’s, but take time to talk through the differences you see. By working toward a shared vision, you can become more united in your relationship.