What is one of the longest words in the English language? Smiles, because there is one mile between the first and last s.
When is a black dog most likely to enter a house? When the door is open.
What letter of the alphabet is needed to make a shoe? The last.
What has never been felt, seen, nor heard, never existed, and still has a name? Nothing.
What is the difference between a man going upstairs and one looking upstairs? One is stepping up stairs and the other is staring up steps.
What is the difference between a farmer and a dressmaker? One gathers what he sows; the other sews what he gathers.
What is the difference between twice twenty-two and twice two and twenty? One is 44 and the other is 24.
Why does the air seem fresher in winter than in summer? Because it is kept on ice in the winter.
Which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead? They each weigh one pound.
What do we have in December that we do not have in any other month? The letter D.
What looks like a cat, eats like a cat, walks like a cat, yet is not a cat? A kitten.
What can you keep even after giving it to someone else? Your word.
What word becomes its own opposite by moving a single letter? United, untied.
What is the difference between a well-dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears an entire suit, while the dog just pants.
Which is easier to spell: fiddle-de-dee or fiddle-de-dum? The first is spelled with more ease (ee’s).
What has two heads, one tail, four legs on one side and two legs on the other? A lady riding a horse side-saddle.
Why are trees like dogs? They each have a different bark.