Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself? Because it’s two tired.
Why can’t you tell secrets on a farm? Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk.
What has two feet and no legs? 24 inches.
Where does Sunday come before Thursday? In the Dictionary.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite meal? Launch
Why is “S” a scary letter? Because it makes cream scream.
What season is most dangerous? Fall
What is the beginning of everything? The letter e
Can you spell MOUSETRAP in three letters? CAT
What holds the sun up? sunbeams
How can you tell when there’s an elephant in the refrigerator? The door won’t shut.
What is yellow and lies on it’s back? A tired school bus.
Special September Dates
Sept. 2, 1906: David B. Haight, of the Council of the Twelve, born in Oakley, Idaho.
Sept. 7, 1897: S. Dilworth Young, of the First Council of the Seventy, born in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Sept. 8, 1873: David O. McKay, ninth president of the Church, born in Huntsville, Utah.
Sept. 10, 1924: Boyd K. Packer, of the Council of the Twelve, born in Brigham City, Utah.
Sept. 18, 1931: Rex D. Pinegar, of the First Council of the Seventy, born in Orem, Utah.
Sept. 19, 1897: Marion G. Romney, second counselor in the First Presidency, born in Colonia Juarez, Mexico.
Sept. 19, 1923: H. Burke Peterson, first counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, born in Salt Lake City, Utah.