Help! Questions about Divorce

By Katherine Nelson

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Help! Questions about Divorce

When parents get divorced, kids often feel scared, worried, guilty, mad, confused, relieved, or sad—sometimes all at the same time. If this has happened to you or one of your friends, here are some thoughts that might help.

I feel left out. It seems like everyone but me has perfect families.

No family is perfect, even if they seem that way.

Remember that your parents, bishop, Primary teachers, neighbors, and friends all love you.

Sometimes people might say things that hurt your feelings without meaning to. When that happens, don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel and help them see a better way to talk to you about the divorce.

I’m mad at my mom and dad.

It’s easy to feel angry when there’s nothing you can do about a situation. You might even want to take your mad feelings out on others. Even though it can be hard, keep trying to show love for your family. Pray for help to see your parents as Jesus sees them. He loves them, you, and everyone else in your family.

If you can’t stop feeling angry, talk to your mom or dad or someone else you trust. They can help you find healthy ways to feel better, like exercising or making art.

Who will I be with in heaven?

Because of Jesus’s Atonement, everything will work out after we die. You don’t have to worry. No matter what, you’ll always be part of your Heavenly Parents’ family. If you keep trying to choose the right, you’ll have all the blessings Heavenly Father has planned for you.

Is it my fault my parents got divorced?

You may think you could have helped your parents stay together. But the truth is that it’s not your fault at all. They made the decision to get divorced. The children in the family are not responsible for the divorce.

I’m scared about what will happen next.

When big changes happen, it’s natural to worry about the future. Talk to your mom and dad. They want to know when you’re upset, and they can help with worries and questions you have. Be sure to pray for comfort.

I feel really sad all the time.

It’s OK to feel sad. Being sad about such a big change is an important step to feeling better later. Even though you might feel sad sometimes, keep doing things you love to do. Spend time outside. Read a good book. Listen to happy music. Try hard in school. Have fun with your friends. Pray to Heavenly Father.

If your sad feelings last a really long time and make it hard for you to sleep, eat, focus on school, or do things you normally like doing, talk to a grown-up you trust so he or she can help you feel better again.

Things will get better.

No matter what you’re feeling now, you’ll start to feel better with time. In the meantime, keep praying to Heavenly Father for comfort. Remember that Heavenly Father and Jesus are always watching over you and will never leave you alone. They love you and your parents and will help all of you. They will give you the strength to feel peaceful and happy.