Ngaahi Tokoua, ʻOku ʻi ai ʻEtau Ngāue ke Fai

Fai ʻe ʻEletā D. Todd Christofferson

ʻO e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá


ʻOku ʻi ai hotau fatongia mahuʻinga ʻi he sosaietí, ʻi ʻapi, pea ʻi he Siasí, ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e kau maʻu lakanga fakataulaʻeikí.

Ngaahi tokoua, kuo lahi hono lea ʻaki mo tohi he ngaahi taʻu kimuí ni maí ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e houʻeiki tangatá pea mo e fānau tangatá. Fakatātā ʻaki pē ha ngaahi tohi kehekehe hangē ko e Why There Are No Good Men Left, The Demise of Guys, The End of Men, Why Boys Fail, mo e Manning Up. ʻOku mālie, ka ‘oku ngali ko e konga lahi ʻo e ngaahi tohí ni naʻe faʻu ia ʻe ha fefine. Kae kehe, ʻoku nau fakamatala ki ha kaveinga tatau pē, ʻa ia ko e pehē ko e houʻeiki tangatá, ʻi he ngaahi sosaieti lahi ʻo e ʻaho ní, ʻoku fepakipaki mo hōloa e ngaahi pōpoaki ʻoku nau maʻu fekauʻaki mo honau ngaahi fatongiá pea mo honau mahuʻinga he sosaietí.

ʻOku fakamatalaʻi peheni ia ʻe he tokotaha naʻá ne faʻu ʻa e Manning Up “Kuo meimei hoko ia ko ha lao fakaemāmani lahi ʻo e moʻui fakasivilaisé ke hoko e fānau fefiné ko ha kakai fefine ʻaki pē ʻenau matuʻotuʻa fakaesinó, ka ko e fānau tangatá kuo pau ke nau lavaʻi ʻe kinautolu ha sivi. Naʻe fie maʻu ke hā meiate kinautolu ʻa e loto toʻá, sino mālohí, pe maʻu e ngaahi poto ʻoku ʻaongá. Ko e taumuʻá ke nau fakamoʻoniʻi ʻoku nau malava lelei ʻo maluʻi e houʻeiki fafiné mo e fānaú; naʻe hoko maʻu pē ʻeni ko honau ʻuluaki fatongia fakasōsiale. Neongo ia, kuo fakalakalaka he ʻahó ni e houʻeiki fafiné ʻi ha taimi kuo laka ai ki muʻa e tuʻunga fakaʻekonōmiká, kuo tuʻu taʻepau ai ʻa e husepāniti mo e tamai ʻoku ngāué, kaeʻumaʻā ʻa e ngaahi natula lelei naʻe fie maʻu ʻe he kakai tangatá ke fakahoko honau fatongiá—ʻa e loto ʻakí, kātakí, lototoʻá, ʻa e anganofó—kuo liʻaki pea ʻoku kiʻi meimei fakamā.”1

ʻOku ʻi ai ha niʻihi ʻoku nau tukuhifo e houʻeiki tangatá mo ʻenau ngaahi tokoni ʻoku faí ʻi heʻenau vēkeveke ko ia ke teke ʻa e faingamālie maʻá e houʻeiki fafiné, pea ʻoku tau fakamālō ai. Kae hangē ʻoku nau fakakaukau ʻe kinautolu ko e moʻuí ko ha feʻauʻauhi ʻa e tangatá mo e fefiné—kuo pau tokua ke puleʻi ʻe he tahá ʻa e tokotaha ko eé, pea ko e taimi tokua ʻeni ʻo e houʻeiki fafiné. ʻOku taukaveʻi ʻe ha niʻihi ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá ʻa e ngāue maʻuʻanga moʻuí, pea ʻoku hoko pē ʻa e nofo malí mo e fānaú ko ha meʻa ke fili—ko ia, ko e hā ka tau fie maʻu ai e kakai tangatá?2 ʻOku fakafōtunga e houʻeiki tangatá ʻi ha ngaahi filimi heleʻuhila lahi mei Holiuti, ngaahi polokalama he TV mo e keipoló, naʻa mo e ngaahi tuʻuaki koloá, ko ha niʻihi ʻoku ʻikai ke poto, fakavalevale, pe siokita. ʻOku fakatupu maumau e ʻulungaanga ʻaki ko ʻeni hono toʻo mei he houʻeiki tangatá honau mālohí mo e fatongiá.

Hangē ko ʻení, ʻoku lipooti ʻi he ʻIunaiteti Siteití: “Kuo lakasi ʻe he fānau fefiné ʻa e fānau tangatá he taimí ni ʻi he lēvolo kotoa pē, mei he lautohi siʻí ʻo aʻu ki he ʻunivēsití. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻi heʻene aʻu ki he kalasi valú, ko e peseti pē ʻe 20 ʻo e fānau tangatá ʻoku pōtoʻi he tohinimá pea peseti ʻe 24 ʻi he laukongá. Lolotonga iá, ko e maaka ʻo e kau talavoú he sivi hū ki he ʻunivēsití (SAT) he 2011, ko e kovi taha ia ʻi ha taʻu ʻeni ʻe 40. Fakatatau ki he Senitā Fakafonua ki he Sitetisitika ʻo e Akó (NCES), ʻoku ngalingali ʻe nofo ha peseti ʻe 30 ʻo e fānau tangatá mei he akoʻanga māʻolungá mo e ʻunivēsití. … ʻOku vavaloʻi ko ʻene aʻu ki he 2016, ʻe maʻu ʻe he houʻeiki fafiné ʻa e peseti ʻe 60 ʻo e kau maʻu mataʻitohi BA, peseti ʻe 63 ʻo e kau maʻu mataʻitohi MA, mo e peseti ʻe 54 ʻo e maʻu mataʻitohi Toketaá. Ko e vahe tolu ʻe ua ʻo e kau ako ʻi he ngaahi polokalama ako makehe maʻá e tōmui fakaʻekatēmiká ko e kakai tangata.”3

ʻOku fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe ha kakai tangata mo ha kau talavou ʻe niʻihi e ngaahi fakamatala ʻoku ʻikai lelei fekauʻaki mo kinautolú ko ha ʻuhinga ke fakaʻehiʻehi ai mei he fua fatongiá pea ʻikai ai pē ke nau toe fakapotopoto. ʻI ha fakatotolo, ʻa ia ʻoku faʻa tonu pasika maʻu pē, ne pehē ai ʻe ha palōfesa ʻo ha ʻunivēsiti, “ʻOku ō mai e kau tangatá ni mo honau ngaahi tatā peisipolo kuo tui fakahanga ki muí mo [ʻenau kiʻi ʻuhinga vaivai] naʻe ʻkai ʻe he komipiutá ia ʻeku ngāue fakaako mei ʻapí.’ Lolotonga ʻoku vakaiʻi ʻe he houʻeiki fafiné ia ʻenau ngaahi taimi tēpile fakaʻahó mo kole ke maʻu ha ngaahi fakaongoongolelei ke hū ki he ʻapiako laó.”4 Naʻe fakamatalaʻi ʻe ha fefine sio heleʻuhila ha fakakaukau ʻoku meimei ke kiʻi manuki ʻo pehē, “ko e meʻa ʻe lava ke tau fakafalala ai ki he houʻeiki tangatá, kapau ʻoku tau monūʻia mo fili ke ʻi ai hatau hoa, ke hoko pē—ko ha hoa. Ko ha taha ʻokú ne tuʻu pē ʻi hono tuʻunga ʻoʻoná peá ne fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻetau tuʻu ʻatautolu ʻi hotau tuʻungá.”5

Ngaahi tokoua, ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke pehē ʻiate kitautolu. Ko e kau tangata kitautolu ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí, pea ʻoku ʻi ai hotau fatongia mahuʻinga ke fakahoko he sosaietí, ʻi ʻapi, pea ʻi he Siasí. Ka kuo pau ke tau hoko ko ha kau tangata ʻe lava ke falala ki ai e houʻeiki fafiné, ʻe lava ke falala ki ai e fānaú, pea lava ke falala ki ai e ʻOtuá. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tau tuku ke ʻi ai ha fānau tangata mo ha kakai tangata ʻoku ʻikai ke nau kau moʻoni ki he ngāué. ʻI he Siasí mo e puleʻanga ʻo e ʻOtuá ʻi he ngaahi ʻaho kimui ní. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tau tuku ke ʻi ai ha kau talavou ʻoku taʻe-mapuleʻi mo moʻui pē ke fakafiefia. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tau tuku ke ʻi ai ha kakai tangata lalahi kei talavou ʻoku taumuʻa-valea, ʻoku ʻikai fakamātoato ʻi hono faʻu ʻo ha ngaahi fāmilí mo tokoni moʻoni ki he māmaní. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tau tuku ke ʻi ai ha ngaahi husepāniti mo ha ngaahi tamai ʻoku ʻikai fakahoko honau fatongia taki fakalaumālie ʻi he ʻapí. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tau tuku ke fakamoleki ʻe kinautolu ʻoku nau ngāue ʻaki e lakanga fakataulaʻeiki māʻoniʻoní, fakatatau ki he Lakanga ʻo e ʻAlo ʻo e ʻOtuá, ʻa honau taimí ʻi he ponokalafí pe fakamoleki ʻenau moʻuí he ʻInitanetí pe komipiutá (he ko e meʻapangó he ʻoku nau ʻo māmani kae ʻikai ʻi māmani).

ʻE ngaahi tokoua, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻetau ngāue ke fai.

ʻE kau talavou, ʻoku fie maʻu ke lelei hoʻomou akó pea hokohoko atu hili ʻa e akoʻanga māʻolungá. ʻE fie maʻu hamou niʻihi ke hoko atu ki he ʻunivēsití mo e ngaahi ngāue maʻuʻanga moʻui ʻi he pisinisí, ngoué, puleʻangá, pe ngaahi poto fakapalofesinale kehé. ʻE lelei ʻaupito ha niʻihi ʻi he ʻātí, mūsiká, pe faiakó. ʻE fili ha niʻihi ha ngāue fakakautau pe ako ha pōtoʻi ngāue. Kuo tokolahi ha kau tangata nimameaʻa kuo nau ngāue ʻi he ngaahi taʻu kuohilí ki hono fai ha ngaahi monomono ʻi hoku ʻapí, pea Ne u fakaʻofoʻofaʻia ʻi he poto ʻo e kau tangatá ni mo ʻenau ngāue mālohí—Ko e hā pē te ke fili ki aí, ʻoku mahuʻinga ke mou poto feʻunga ʻi ha faʻahinga ngāue pē ʻoku mou fili koeʻuhí ke mou lava ʻo tauhi ha fāmili pea tokoni ke lelei ai homou tukuikoló mo e fonuá.

Ne u toki sio kimuí ni mai ʻi ha foʻi vitiō ha ʻaho ʻe taha ʻi he moʻui ʻa ha talavou taʻu 14 ko ʻAmā ʻi ʻInitia. ʻOku ʻā hengihengia pea ngāue ʻi ha ngāueʻanga ʻe ua, kimuʻa pea ʻi he tuku ʻa e akó, ʻi he ʻaho ʻe ono mo e konga he uike kotoa. ʻOku feau ʻe heʻene paʻanga hū maí ha konga lahi ʻo e moʻui ʻa hono fāmilí. ʻOkú ne fakavavevave mai ki ʻapi mei heʻene ngāue hono uá ʻi heʻene pasikala motuʻá kuo fakapoʻuli pea kumi taimi ke fai ʻene ngāue fakaako mei ʻapí ʻi ha ngaahi houa siʻi pea toki tokoto ʻo mohe he falikí ʻi he vahaʻa hono ngaahi tokoua kuo nau ʻosi mohé, kuo mei hoko nai ʻa e hongofulu mā tahá. Neongo kuo teʻeki ai ke u feʻiloaki mo ia, ka ʻoku ou laukau ʻaki ia ʻi heʻene ngāue mālohi mo loto toʻá. ʻOkú ne fai hono lelei tahá ʻaki pē ʻene ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni mo e ngaahi faingamālie ʻoku fakangatangatá, pea ko ha tāpuaki ia ki hono fāmilí.

Ko kimoutolu kakai tangata lalahí—ʻa e ngaahi tamai, kau tāutaha lalahi, kau taki, kau faiako fakaʻapí—mou hoko ko ha ngaahi sīpinga taau pea tokoni ki he fānau tangata ʻo e toʻu tangata kei tupu haké ke nau hoko ʻo tangata. Akoʻi kiate kinautolu e ngaahi poto fakasōsialé mo e ngaahi poto kehé; ʻa e founga ke nau kau ai ʻi ha pōtalanoa, founga ke maheni ai mo fengāueʻaki mo e niʻihi kehé, founga ke talanoa ai mo femahinoʻaki mo e houʻeiki fafiné mo e tamaiki fefiné, founga tokoní, founga ke ngāue mālohi ai mo fiefia ʻi he ngaahi fakafiefiá, founga tulifua ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau manako aí kae ʻoua naʻa maʻunimā kinautolu, founga ke fakaleleiʻi ʻaki e ngaahi fehalākí mo fai ha ngaahi fili ʻoku lelei angé.

Pea kiate kimoutolu kotoa pē ʻoku fanongo maí, ko e fē pē feituʻu ʻe aʻu atu ki ai e pōpoakí ni, ʻoku ou lea ʻo hangē ko e folofola ʻa [e ʻEikí] kia Sōsiuá, “Ke ke mālohi mo ke loto toʻa” (Sōsiua 1:6). Loto-toʻa pea teuteu ʻi he lelei taha te ke lavá, ko e hā pē ho tūkungá. Teuteu ke ke hoko ko ha husepāniti mo ha tamai lelei; teuteu ke ke hoko ko ha tangataʻifonua lelei mo ʻaonga; teuteu ke ngāue maʻá e ʻEikí, ʻa ia ko hono lakanga fakataulaʻeikí ʻokú ke maʻú. ʻOku fakakaukau mai ʻa hoʻo Tamai Hēvaní kiate koe, ko e fē pē ha feituʻu ʻokú ke ʻi ai. ʻOku ʻikai te ke tuēnoa; ʻokú ke maʻu e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí mo e meʻafoaki ʻo e Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní. Kapau ʻe hokohoko atu pē hoʻo ngāué mo tauhi ʻEne ngaahi fekaú, ʻe ʻi ai ho ngaahi faingamālie ʻi he kahaʻú.

Ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi feituʻu mahuʻinga taha ʻoku fie maʻu ai koé, ko hoʻo kōlomu lakanga fakataulaʻeikí. ʻOku tau fie maʻu ha ngaahi kōlomu ʻoku nau teuteuʻi ha meʻatokoni fakalaumālie maʻá e kau mēmipá he ʻaho Sāpaté mo tokoni foki. ʻOku tau fie maʻu ha kau taki fakakōlomu ʻoku tokanga ki hono fai e ngāue ʻa e ʻEikí, pea mo hono poupouʻi e kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú mo honau ngaahi fāmilí.

Fakakaukau ki he ngāue fakafaifekaú. Kau talavou, ʻoku ʻikai ha taimi ia ke maumauʻi. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke fakatatali hoʻo teuteú ʻo toki fakamātoato pē ʻi ho taʻu 17 pe 18. ʻE lava ke tokoni e ngaahi kōlomu ʻo e Lakanga Taulaʻeiki Faka-ʻĒloné ki honau kau mēmipá ke mahino kiate kinautolu ʻa e fuakava mo e fakapapau ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí mo nau teuteu ki hono fakanofo kinautolu ko e kaumātuʻá, te nau lava ʻo tokoni ke mahino kiate kinautolu mo nau teuteu ki he ngaahi ouau ʻo e temipalé, pea te nau lava ʻo tokoniʻi kinautolu ke nau mateuteu ki ha ngāue fakafaifekau ola lelei. ʻE lava ke tokoni e ngaahi kōlomu ʻo e Lakanga Taulaʻeiki Faka-Melekisētekí mo e Fineʻofá ki he ngaahi mātuʻá ke nau teuteuʻi ha kau faifekau ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi e Tohi ʻa Molomoná, pea ke nau ʻalu atu ki he malaʻe ngāue fakafaifekaú kuo nau tukupā kakato ke ngāue. Pea ʻe lava ʻe he ngaahi kōlomu tatau pē ko ʻení ʻi he uooti mo e kolo takitaha, ʻo taki ʻi ha ngāue fakataha mo e kau faifekau taimi kakato ʻoku ngāue aí.

Naʻe toe fakaongo mai ʻe Palesiteni Tōmasi S. Monisoni ha ngāue fekauʻaki mo ia, ʻa ia ko ha tefitoʻi fatongia ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí, ko ha ui ʻa e Fakamoʻuí ke fakahaofi ʻa kinautolu kuo nau mavahe mei he ongoongoleleí pe kuo nau taʻe fiemālie koeʻuhí ko ha faʻahinga ʻuhinga. Kuo tau aʻusia ha ola lelei ʻi he ngāue ko ʻení, kau ai e ngāue fakaʻofoʻofa ʻa e kau talavoú. Ne alēlea ha kōlomu ʻo e Lakanga Taulaʻeiki Faka-ʻĒlone ʻi he Uooti Lio Kalaní (faka-Sipeini) ʻi ʻAlapakeki ʻi Niu Mekisikou, pe ko hai te nau lava ʻo fakafoki maí pea nau ō fakakulupu leva ʻo ʻaʻahi kiate kinautolu takitaha. Naʻe pehē ʻe ha tokotaha, “ʻI heʻenau ō mai ki hoku matapaá, ne u ongoʻi mahuʻinga,” mo toe fiemālie, “Naʻá ku fiefia loto hono ʻiloʻi ʻoku fie maʻu au ʻe ha tokotaha ke u ʻalu ange ki he lotú, pea ʻokú ne ueʻi au ke u fie ʻalu ki he lotú he taimí ni.” ʻI he taimi ne fakaafeʻi ai e talavoú ke foki mai, ʻe he kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú, naʻa nau kole ange ki ai heʻenau ʻaʻahi hokó ke ne maʻulotu mo kinautolu. Naʻe ʻikai ko ʻenau fakaafeʻi pē ia ke haʻu ki he lotú; naʻa nau ʻai ke ne hoko ko ha konga ʻo e kōlomú he taimi pē ko iá.

Ko e ngāue faingataʻa ka ʻoku fakaloto lahi ʻe taha ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí ko e temipalé mo e hisitōlia fakafāmilí. Tali ki ha tohi ʻe vavé ni pē haʻane aʻu atu mei he Kau Palesitenisī ʻUluakí ʻa ia ʻe ʻi ai ha uiuiʻi foʻou mo ha vīsone māʻolunga ange ki he konga mahuʻinga ko ʻeni ʻo e ngāué ʻoku totonu ke tau fakahokó.

ʻOku fokotuʻu foki ʻe heʻetau ngaahi kōlomú ha feohi fakatokoua ke fepoupouaki ai. Naʻe pehē ʻe Palesiteni Kōtoni B. Hingikelī he taimi ʻe taha: “ʻE hoku ngaahi tokoua, ʻe hoko ia ko ha ʻaho fakaofo—ko ha ʻaho ʻe fakahoko ai e ngaahi taumuʻa ʻa e ʻEikí—ʻi he taimi ʻe hoko ai e ngaahi kōlomu ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí ko ha founga ke tokoniʻi ʻaki ʻa e tangata kotoa pē ʻoku kau ki aí ke ne mālohi ʻi he ongoongoleleí, ʻi he malava ke lea ʻa e tangata takitaha ʻo pehē, ʻKo e mēmipa au ʻo ha kōlomu ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeiki ʻo e Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní. ʻOku ou mateuteu ke tokoniʻi hoku ngaahi tokouá ʻi heʻenau ngaahi fie maʻu kotoa pē, pea ʻoku ou falala ʻoku nau mateuteu mo kinautolu ke tokoniʻi au ʻi heʻeku ngaahi fie maʻú. ʻE lava ke tau tuʻu ʻi heʻetau ngāue fakatahá, ʻo ʻikai mā pe ilifia pea matuʻuaki ʻa e faingataʻa kotoa pē ʻe hoko maí, pe ko e fakaʻekonōmiká, fakasōsialé, pe fakalaumālié.’”6

Neongo ʻetau ngaahi feinga tūkuingatá, ʻoku ʻikai faʻa hoko maʻu pē ʻa e ngaahi meʻá ʻo fakatatau mo ia ne tau palani ki aí, pea ko e “matangi makehe ʻo e tuʻutāmakí” ʻe ala hoko mai ki ha moʻui ʻa ha tangata, ko e taʻe ngāué. Naʻe pehē ʻi ha kiʻi tohi uelofea fuoloa ʻa e Siasí: “ʻOku mahuʻinga makehe ʻa e tangata ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai haʻane ngāué ki he Siasí he ʻoku siviʻi ia ʻi he ʻikai ʻi ai haʻane ngāué, ʻo hangē ko hono siviʻi ʻo Siopé—siviʻi ʻene angatonú. ʻI he fakaʻau ʻa e ngaahi ʻahó ʻo lau uike mo lau māhiná pea aʻu ʻo lau taʻu e faingataʻaʻiá, ʻoku fakautuutu ange leva ʻa e mamahí. … ʻOku ʻikai ʻamanaki e Siasí ke fakahaofi ha tangata ʻi he ʻaho Sāpaté kapau ʻokú ne sio ki he ngaahi faingataʻa ʻokú ne fetaulaki mo iá, lolotonga e uiké kae ʻikai pē ke ne fai ha meʻa.”7

ʻI ʻEpeleli ʻo e 2009, naʻe fai ʻe Lisiate C. ʻEtilī, ko ha tokoni kimuʻa ʻi he Kau Pīsopeliki Pulé, ha talanoa ki ha kōlomu naʻa nau ngāue ke tokoniʻi ha mēmipa ʻo ʻenau kōlomú ne mole ʻene ngāué:

“ʻOku hoko ʻa e Fale Ngaohi Kā ʻa Fili ʻi Senitavila ʻi ʻIutā ko ha fakamoʻoni ki he meʻa ʻe malava ʻe he taki lakanga fakataulaʻeikí mo ha kōlomu. Ne hoko ʻa Fili ko ha mēmipa ʻo e kōlomu kaumātuʻá pea naʻá ne ngāue fakamakēnika ʻi ha fale ngaohiʻanga meʻalele pē ʻi he koló. Meʻapangó he naʻe faingataʻaʻia fakaʻekonōmika ʻa e fale ngāué pea pau ai ke tukuange ʻa Fili mei heʻene ngāué. Naʻá ne ongoʻi loto mafasia he meʻa ne hokó.

“ʻI he fanongo ʻene pīsopé, Lioni ʻOlosoni ki he mole ʻa e ngāue ʻa Filí, naʻa nau fakakaukau leva ʻi he faʻa lotu pea mo e kau palesitenisī ʻo e kōlomú ki ha ngaahi founga ʻe lava ke nau tokoniʻi ai ʻa Fili. He ko ha mēmipa foki ia ʻi he kōlomú, ko ha tokoua, pea naʻá ne fie maʻu ha tokoni. Naʻa nau pehē ʻoku maʻu ʻe Fili ʻa e taukei ke ne lava ʻo fakalele pē haʻane pisinisi. Ne pehē ʻe he taha ʻo e kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú ʻoku ʻi ai hano fale tauhiʻanga fafanga monumanu motuʻa, mahalo naʻa lava ke ngāue ʻaki ia ko ha fale ngaohiʻanga meʻalele. Ne ʻi ai ha kau mēmipa kehe ʻo e kōlomú naʻa nau pehē te nau lava ʻo tokoni ʻi hono tātānaki ha ngaahi meʻangāue mo e nāunau ke fakanāunauʻaki ʻa e fale ngāue foʻoú. Ne lava foki ʻe he meimei tokotaha kotoa ʻo e kōlomú ʻo tokoni ki hono fakamaʻa ʻo e fale motuʻá ni.

Naʻa nau fakamatalaʻi kia Fili ʻa ʻenau fakakaukaú pea nau fakamatala foki ia ki he kau mēmipa ʻo ʻenau kōlomú. Ne fakamaʻa leva ʻa e falé, fakaleleiʻi, tānaki ʻa e ngaahi meʻangāué pea fokotuʻutuʻu lelei. Ne ola lelei ʻa e Fale Ngaohi Meʻalele ʻa Filí pea naʻe faifai ʻo hiki ki ha fale lelei mo tuʻuloa ange—ne hoko kotoa ʻeni koeʻuhí ko e fie tokoni ʻa hono ngaahi tokoua ʻi he kōlomú ʻi he taimi ʻo e faingataʻá.”8

Hangē ko ia kuo toutou lea ʻaki ʻe he kau palōfitá ʻi he ngaahi taʻu kuohilí, “Ko e ngāue mahuʻinga taha ʻa e ʻEikí te mou lava ke faí ʻoku fakahoko ia ʻi loto ʻi he ngaahi holisi ʻo homou ngaahi ʻapí.”9 ʻOku lahi e meʻa ke tau fai ke fakamālohia ai ʻa e nofo malí ʻi he ngaahi sosaieti kuo fakautuutu ʻenau tala ʻoku ʻikai mahuʻinga hono ngaahi taumuʻá. ʻOku lahi e meʻa ke tau fai ke akoʻi ʻetau fānaú “ke lotu, pea ke ʻaʻeva ʻi he angatonu ʻi he ʻao ʻo e ʻEikí” (T&F 68:28). ʻOku lahi ʻetau ngāue ke faí ke tokoniʻi ʻetau fānaú ke nau aʻusia ʻa e fuʻu liliu lahi ʻo e lotó pe ului ki he ʻEikí ʻo hangē ko hono lea mahino ʻaki ʻi he Tohi ʻa Molomoná (vakai, Mōsaia 5:1–12 mo e ʻAlamā 26). ʻE lava ke kau fakataha e ngaahi kōlomu ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí mo e Fineʻofá ʻi hono tokoniʻi ʻo e ngaahi mātuʻá mo e nofomalí, pea te nau lava ʻo foaki ʻa e ngaahi tāpuaki ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí, ki he ngaahi fāmili ʻoku ʻi ai ha mātuʻa pē ʻe toko tahá.

ʻIo ʻe ngaahi tokoua, ʻoku ʻi ai ha ngāue ke tau fakahoko. ʻOku ou fakamālō koeʻuhí ko e ngaahi feilaulau mo e ngaahi lelei ʻoku mou fakahokó. Hokohoko atu pea ʻe tokoniʻi koe ʻe he ʻEikí. Mahalo pē ʻe ʻikai te ke ʻiloʻi e meʻa ke faí pe lea ʻakí—hoko atu pē. Kamata ngāue, pea ʻe fakapapauʻi atu ʻe he ʻEikí “ʻe fakaava ha matapā ʻaonga kiate [koe]” (T&F 118:3). Kamata lea leva, pea ʻokú Ne talaʻofa mai, “ʻE ʻikai veuveuki ʻa kimoua ʻi he ʻao ʻo e kakaí; he ʻe foaki kiate kimoua ʻi he houa ko iá, ʻio, ʻi he momeniti ko iá, ʻa e meʻa ke mo lea ʻakí” (T&F 100:5–6). Ko e moʻoni ʻoku ʻikai ke tau haohaoa mo anga maheni ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa lahi, ka ʻoku ʻi ai hotau ʻEiki haohaoa pea naʻá ne fai ha Fakalelei haohaoa, pea kuo tau kolea ʻEne ʻaloʻofá mo Hono lakanga fakataulaʻeikí. ʻI heʻetau fakatomala mo fakamaʻa hotau laumālié, ʻoku talaʻofa mai ʻe akoʻi mo fakakoloaʻi kitautolu ʻaki ha mālohi mei ʻolunga (vakai T&F 43:16).

ʻOku fekumi ʻa e Siasí mo māmani pea mo e kakai fefiné ki ha kau tangata, ha kau tangata ʻoku nau fakatupulaki honau ngaahi talēnití pea mo ia ʻoku nau malavá, ʻoku fie ngāue mo fakahoko ha ngaahi feilaulaú, te nau tokoni ki he niʻihi kehé ke nau maʻu ʻa e fiefiá mo e fakamoʻuí. ʻOku nau kalanga, “Tuʻu Hake, ʻa e Kau Tangata ʻa e ʻOtuá!”10 ʻOfa ke tokoni mai ʻa e ʻOtuá ke tau fakahoko ia. ʻI he huafa ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí, ʻēmeni.

Mostrar referencias

  1.  

    1.  Kay S. Hymowitz, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys (2011), 16.

  2.  

    2.  “ʻI hoʻo fehuʻi ki he toʻu tupu ʻo e ʻaho ní pe ko e hā e meʻa te ne ngaohi kinautolu ke nau hoko ko ha kakai lalahí, meimei ʻe ʻikai ha taha ia ʻe lau ki he malí. ʻOku lahi ange ʻenau vakai pē ki he ngaahi meʻa fekauʻaki mo e ngāué—ʻa hono fakaʻosi e akó, tauʻatāina fakapaʻangá, ha ngāue taimi kakato—ko ha ngaahi fakaʻilonga ia kuo nau lavaʻi lelei. Ko e ngāué, ngāue maʻuʻanga moʻuí, mo e tauʻatāiná: ko e ngaahi tefitoʻi maʻuʻanga tokoni ʻeni ʻoku ʻiloʻi ai ha taha he ʻaho ní” (Hymowitz, Manning Up, 45). ʻOku fuʻu lahi ʻaupito ʻene tō mamafa ki he kakai fefiné ke nau fakafepakiʻi ʻa e malí. Naʻe tohi ʻe ha tokotaha fai fakamatala ʻi Lonitoni maʻá e nusipepa ko e Times ʻo pehē: “Kuo ʻikai ha taha, ʻikai ʻi hoku fāmilí pe ʻi heʻeku kau faiakó, kuó ne pehē mai, ‘ʻIo, pea mahalo te ke fie maʻu foki ke ke hoko ko ha uaifi mo ha faʻē.’ Ne nau fakapapauʻi pē te tau muimui ʻi ha hala foʻou ʻoku tuʻunga tatau ai ʻa e tokotaha kotoa, pea toʻo mei heʻenau vīsone ki hotau kahaʻú ʻa e ngaahi taumuʻa fakahisitōlia ʻa e ngaahi toʻu tangata ʻo ha kakai fefine—ke mali pea ʻohake ha fāmili” (Eleanor Mills, “Learning to Be Left on the Shelf,” Sunday Times, Apr. 18, 2010, www.thetimes.co.uk; in Hymowitz, Manning Up, 72). Naʻe fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe ha tokotaha faʻu tohi taʻu 40 tupu ʻe taha ha ngaahi tali ki ha fakamatala naʻá ne tohi ʻo fekauʻaki mo ʻene fakameʻapangoʻia he ʻikai ke ne malí: “ʻOku ou fakaʻuliaʻia ʻi hoʻo fie maʻu ha tangatá,” “Fakakaukau Lelei!” “Kuó ke ʻave ʻe koe ʻa e fefakafalalaʻakí mo e fetauhiʻakí ki ha tuʻunga māʻulalo foʻou,” pea “Kapau ʻe tupu hake ha taha ʻo ʻeku fānau fefiné ʻo fie maʻu lahi ha tangata ʻo hangē ko hoʻo fie maʻú, te u ʻiloʻi kuó u fai ha meʻa naʻe fehalaaki ʻi hono ʻohake iá” (Lori Gottlieb, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough [2010], 55).Ko e ongoongo leleí ʻoku tokolahi ʻa e kakai, kau ai ʻa e kakai lalahi kei talavou potó, ʻoku ʻikai ke nau tui kinautolu ki he pōpoaki ke ʻoua ʻe malí, pea ʻoua ʻe faʻu ha fāmilí. “Fakatatau ki ha fakatotolo naʻe fai ʻe ha mataotao ʻi he meʻa fakaʻekonōmiká, ʻi he ʻIunaiteti Siteití he 2008, naʻe mali ʻa e peseti ʻe 86 ʻo e kakai fefine pālangi naʻe ako he ʻunivēsití ʻi honau taʻu 40, ʻo fakafehoanaki ia ki he peseti ʻe 88 ʻo kinautolu naʻe siʻi hifo he taʻu ʻe faá pea maʻu honau mataʻitohí. ʻOku tatau pē mo e tokolahi ʻo e kakai tangata pālangi ako ʻunivēsití: naʻe mali honau peseti ʻe 84 ʻi honau taʻu 40 he 2008. Ka ʻoku pehē ʻi he poto ʻo e kakaí, ʻo ʻikai fakahaaʻi ʻe ha fakatotolo naʻe fai, ko e meʻa kovi ʻa e malí ki he kakai fefiné. Kae hangē ʻoku ʻikai tui ki ai ʻa e kakai fefine pālangi ako he ʻunivēsití. Meimei ko kinautolu ia ʻi ha toe faʻahinga kulupu pē ʻoku nau pehē, ‘ʻi hono fakakātoá, ʻoku fiefia ange ʻa e kakai malí ʻi he kakai ʻoku taʻemalí.’ … ʻOku pehē ʻe he tokolahi—ko ha peseti ʻe 70—ʻo e kau ako taʻu ʻuluaki ʻi he ʻunivēsití ʻoku ‘ʻaonga’ pe ‘fuʻu mahuʻinga ʻaupito ki honau kahaʻú ke ʻohake hanau fāmili” (Hymowitz, Manning Up, 173–74).

  3.  

    3.  Philip G. Zimbardo mo Nikita Duncan, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do about It (2012)(e-book); vakai ki he vahe ko e “Behind the Headlines.”

  4.  

    4.  Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman (2003), 67.

  5.  

    5.  Amanda Dickson, “‘Hunger Games’ Main Character a Heroine for Our Day,” Deseret News, Apr. 2, 2012, www.deseretnews.com.

  6.  

    6.  Gordon B. Hinckley, “Welfare Responsibilities of the Priesthood Quorums,” Ensign, Nov. 1977, 86.

  7.  

    7.   Helping Others to Help Themselves: The Story of the Mormon Church Welfare Program, (1945), 4.

  8.  

    8.  Richard C. Edgley, “Ko e Telefoni ʻEni Kiate Koe,” Liahona, Mē 2009, 54.

  9.  

    9.   Ngaahi Akonaki ʻa e Kau Palesiteni ʻo e Siasí: Hāloti B. Lī (2000), 161.

  10.  

    10.  “Rise Up, O Men of God,” Hymns, no. 323.