Mai tumse guzarish karta hoon ki yeh sawaal puchne ka prayaas karo, auron ke anubhav ke prati narm swabhaao dikhlate hue: “Tum kya soch rahe ho?”

Iktalis(41) saalon pehle mai ek 18-pahiyo waale lori ke diravar ke seet par apni sundar patni, Jan, aur humare navjaat putra, Scotty ke saath baetha. Hum nirmaan karne waale bahut se cheezon ko kai stakes mein le ja rahe the.

Un dinon mein seet-belt lagane ki ya navjaat shishu ke liye caar seet ka koi pratibandh nahi tha. Meri patni ne humare anmol putra ko apne haaton mein pakad rakha tha. Uski tippani “Hum sach mein zamin se bahut upar hai” se mujhe yah ishara mil gaya hota ki wah chinta mehsoos kar rahi thi.

Jab hum itihaasik Donner Pass, jo raasta unchaai par tha, se guzar rahe the, aage baethne waale sthaan par achaanak aur ekaek bahut hi dhuwa bhar gaya. Dekhna mushkil ho gaya tha, aur hum saas bhi nahi le pa rahe the.

Waajandaar lori ke saath, brake se sirf raftaar ko kam nahin kiya jaata. Engine ki brake ko istemaal karne se aur dusre giyar mein daal kar, maine jaldi ko rokna chaaha.

Jaise hi mai raaste ke kinaare rukne waala tha, magar puri tarah se rukne se pehle, meri patni ne lori ke darwaaze ko khol diya aur haathon mein humare bachche ko liye huwe baahar kud gayi. Mai bebas unko dhul mein ulatte dekhta raha.

Jaise hi maine lori ko roka, mai turant hi dhuwe se bhare lori se bahar nikala. Bahot hi ghabraahat mein, mai patharon aur jangalon mein se dauda aur unko apne baahon mein pakad liya. Jan ki haathon aur kohniyaan futi hui thi aur khoon nikal raha tha, magar dhanyewaad hai ki wah aur mera putra dono jiwit the. Mai unko thaame hi rakhkha jab tak ki dhul raaste par baethi nahi.

Jab mai achchi tarah se saas lene laayak hua aur saas liya, maine turant kaha, “ Tum kya soch rahe the? Kya tumhe pata hai ki wah kitna khatarnaak tha? Tum mar bhi sakte the!”

Usne meri or mud kar dekha, uske dhuwe-ke daag bhare gaalon par bahate hue aansoo ke saath, aur kuch ayesa kaha ki jo aaj bhi mujhe yaad hai: “mai sirf apne putra ko bachaane ki koshish kar rahi thi.”

Us samay maine jaana ki usne socha ki engine mein aag lag chuki thi, dartey hue ki lori kahi dag na jaye aur hum mar jaaye. Mai, phirbhi, jaanta tha ki wah ek electrical gadbadi tha—khatarnaak magar jaanlewa nahi. Maine apni anmol patni ki or dekha, hamare chote se bachche ke sir ko sehlaate hue, aur ashchariye karte hue ki kis tarah ki mahila itni himmat ke kaarye ko kar sakti hai.

Yeh stithi bhauk taur se khatarnaak ho sakta tha humari engine ke gadbadi ki tarah. Achcha hua, kuch der ki khaamoshi ke khatam hone par, hum dono ek dosre ko galat samajh rahe the, anth mein humne uttejit hokar wah kaha diya jo waja lag raha tha. Ek dusre ki surakhsha ke liye pyaar aur dar ko zahir kiya jo humare pyaar bhare shaadi-shuda jiwan mein khatra ban sakta tha.

Paul ne chetaoni diya, “Koi gandhi baat tumhare mukh se na nikaale, par awashyakta ke anusaar wahi nikale jo unnati ke liye uttam ho [aur] taaki, use sunnewaalon par anugarah ho” (Ephesians 4:29). Uske shabdon mein sachchaai hai.

Yah kahawat “buri waartaalabh nahi” se tum kya samjhte ho? Hum sab bahut hi gusse ke ehsaas ko mehsoos kartein hai—humare apne aur dusron ke’. Humne prasidh sthaanon par gusse ko kaabo se bahar hote dekha hai. Hum ne anubhao kiya hai jo “takleef de sakta hai” gambheer taur se khel-khud ke samay, raajnitik sthaan mein, aur humare khud ke gharon mein bhi.

Bachchein kabhikabhi apne pyaare maata-pitaaon se kathor vaani mein baatein kartein hai. Jeevansaathi, jinhonne apne jiwan ke kuch achche aur bahot naazuk anubhavon ko baanta hai, maargdarshan aur dhaerye ko kho dete aur gusse ke saath unchi awaaz mein baatein karte hai. Hum sab, bhale hi pyaare Swarg ke Pita ke vachanbadh bachchein ho, ne turant hi natije par ah kar galti ko mehsoos kiya hai aur bure shabdon ka istamaal kiya hai kisi bhi dusre ke stithi ko na-dekhtey hue. Hamein aosar hai seekhne ka ki bure shabd kitne haanikaarak hote hai ek stithi ko khatarnaak se vinaashak karne mein.

Pratham Adhyakshta se pehle patra mein saaf tarike se batlaya gaya hai ki, “Ishu Maseeh ke susamachaar hume sikhlata hai ki sabhi logon ko pyaar aur barabar se dekho dayaluta aur izzat ke saath—chahe jab hum sehmat na ho phirbhi” (Pratham Adhyakshta patra, Jan. 10, 2014). Kitna achchi tarah se yaad dilaati hai ki hamein hamesha izzat se baate karni chahiye, khaaskar jab hum duniya ko alag-alag tarah se dekhtey hai.

Proverbs ke lekhakh ne salaah diya, “Ek komal uttar jal-jalaahat ko thandi karti hai: parantu katuvachan se krodh dhadhak uthta hai” (Proverbs 15:1). Ek “komal uttar” mein humesha jawaab dena chahiye—vinamra hriday ke achche shabdon se. Is ka yah matlab nahi hai ki hum sidha tarike se baat na karein ya siddhaanton ke sachchaai ko badlein. Shabdein jo sidhe tarike se ho aatma se komal ho sakta hai.

Mormon ki Dharamshaastra mein bhi yaadgaar udharan hai katuwachan bhare bhaasha ke vivahit jhagde par. Sariah aur Lehi ke putron ko waapis Jerusalem bheja gaya tha pital ke patto ko lene ke liye aur waapis nahi laute the. Sariah ko vishwaas tha ki uske putron ko khatra ho sakta tha, aur wah gusse se bhar gayi aur kisi ko dosh dena chahati thi.

Nephi ki ankhon se kahani ko sunno: “Kyunki wah sochti thi ki hum waha par mar gaye honge, aur mere pita ke virodh shikaayat karte hue wah kahati thi ki wah sapne dekhne waala vyakti hai; wah bola: Dekho, tum hume apne purwajon ke desh mein se le aaye aur humari santaan bhi ab nahi rahi, aur hum is jangal mein nasht ho rahein hai” (1 Nephi 5:2).

Ab, dekhtein hai ki shaayad Sariah kya soch rahi thi. Wah chintith thi apne ladnewaale putron ko ussi sthaan par waapis jaane ke liye jaha uske pati ke jiwan ko khatra hua tha. Usne apne sundar ghar aur doston ko chodh diya tha akele jangal mein ek tambu mein rahane ke liye jabki wah aur bachchon ko paeda kar sakti thi. Uske dar ke kaaran sabse badi chinta thi, laga ki Sariah nidar hokar kud padi thi, agar nahi to kuch kaaran tha, bahut tezi se chalti hui lori jo kaabu mein na ho se kudna apne parivaar ko bachane ke liye. Usne apne pati ko adhikaar se gusse aur sandeh aur dosh bhare bhaasha mein batlaya—ek bhaasha jaha puri insaan jaati ko na chahate hue bhi taufe mein praapt hai.

Bhavishyevakta Lehi ne apni patni ke gusse ke kaaran ke dar ko suna. Phir usne daya bhare shabdon mein us ka uttar diya. Pehle, usne uske nazariye se sachaai ko dekha: “Aur … mere pita ne meri maa se is prakaar kaha; mai jaanta hoon ki mai swapandeshi hoon; … aur mai Jerusalem mein hi rahata, aur apne bhaayion ke saath nasht ho jaata” (1 Nephi 5:4).

Phir uske pati ne apne putron ke kalyaan ke chinta ko bayaan kiya, jabki Pavitra Aatma ne bina kisi sandeh ke usko gawahi diya, yeh kehkar:

“Lekin dekho, maine sukhmay pratigya dwara diye desh ko praapt kiya hai, jiske liye mai anand manata hoon; ha, mai yah bhi jaanta hoon ki Laban ki haathon se Prabhu mere putron ki raksha karega. …

“Aur is prakaar ki bhaasha dwara mere pita, Lehi, ne meri maa Sariah ko … humare liye santaona di” (1 Nephi 5:5–6).

Yaha par aaj aadmiyon aur auraton ko ek dosre ki izzat karne ki bahut zaroorat hai chahe unke vishwaas aur kaarye bahut alag hi na ho aur chahe unke lakshye bahut hi alag ho. Wah jaanna namumkin hai jo sab kuch humare mann aur hriday ko batlata hai ya musibaton ke stithiyon ko puri tarah se samajhna aur jo chunao hum sab banatein hai.

Phirbhi, kya hoga us “gandi baat” ka jiske vishay mein Paul ne kaha tha agar hum khud pehle kisi aur ke anubhav ke liye daya dikhaate? Puri tarah se apne khud ke galtiyon aur uske ke vajah ko swikaar karna, mai tumse guzarish karta hoon ki yeh sawaal puchne ka prayaas karo, auron ke anubhav ke prati narm swabhaao dikhlate hue: “Tum kya soch rahe ho?”

Yaad karo jab Prabhu ne Samuel aur Saul ko ek chote se charwaha bachche ko chunn kar aschariye mein kiya tha, Bethlehem ka David, Israel ka raja ke tarah? Uske bhavishyevakta ne samjhaya, “kyunki Prabhu ka dekhna manushye ka sa nahi hai; maushye to bahar ka rup dekhta hai, parantu Prabhu ki dirishti mann par rahati hai” (1 Samuel 16:7)

Jab humare lori mein dhuwa bhar gaya tha, meri patni ne hamare bachche ko bachaane ke liye sab se bahaduri ka kaam kiya tha jo use laga. Maine bhi rakshak ki tarah kaarye kiya jab usse uske chunaao par sawaal pucha. Ashcharyejanak rup se, yah zaroori nahi tha ki kaun sahi hai. Jo zyaada zaroori tha ki ek dosre ko sunna aur ek duosre ki anudrishye ko samajhna.

Ek dosre ki anudrishti ko samjhne se “gandi baat” “upkaar [ke] dekhrekh” mein badal jaaega. Devdut Paul yah samajh gaya tha, aur kuch had tak hum bhi anubhao kar saktein hai. Shaayad yah mushkil ko badal ya theek na kar sakey, parantu shaayad zaroori yah hoga ki kya upkaar se dekhrekh hamein badal de.

Main yah vinamra gawahi deta hoon ki hum “upkaar se dekhrekh” dayalu bhaasha se kar sakte hai jab Pavitra Aatma ka haasil kiya uphaar hamare dilon mein dusron ke ehsaas aur bhaona ke prati daya utpann karega. Isse hum khatarnaak stithiyon ko pavitra sthaanon mein badal sakte hai. Mai ek pyaar bhare Uddhaarkarta ki gawahi deta hoon jo “[hamare] hriday ko dekhta hai” aur parwaah karta hai ki hum kya soch rahe hai. Ishu Maseeh ke naam se, amen.