My Suggestions on How to Be a Successful Member Missionary

Elder Richards: I think there are three easy ways to be a member missionary. The first is, to paraphrase the scripture, let your light so shine that others may see your good works. Every year, tens of thousands of persons join the Church because they see the good lives of members who live and enjoy gospel principles—and maybe tens of thousands don’t join or aren’t interested because they see things, too. The second way is to ask what we call the golden questions—Something like “Do you know anything about the Mormons?” And, depending upon the answer, “Would you like to know more?” The third way is to ask your friends and neighbors to visit Church meetings and activities with you.

Elder Richards: They’re afraid of offending somebody, or lack faith—or both! And you know, that’s sad, because the Lord said that the “elect hear my voice and harden not their hearts.” (D&C 29:7.) Our job is presumably not to bring every nonmember into the Church—just the elect! And how do you know who the elect are? He says the elect will hear his voice—they’ll listen and do something about it. Even though a person may not be “elect” today, or even a year from now, due to something in his life, his whole attitude might change—and he might become one of the elect. That’s why we continually, throughout our lives, give people many opportunities to hear the Lord’s voice. Can we do anything less? Has not the Lord given all of us plenty of chances in our own lives? If we’ve grown to the stature where we’re becoming like Him, then we’ll want the same for others. Commit yourself to do the Lord’s assignment, take him at his word, and then he will open the way. It’s that simple—that basic, and that successful!

I was flying to Iowa a year ago and sat down by the side of a young college student who had been going to Utah State University. I asked him how he liked it and he said, “I just love it.” I asked him why, and he said it was because of the people there. I got his name and address and asked him if it would be okay for two young missionaries to come by to see him. Six months later, I got a letter from the missionaries saying that they were baptizing him, his three brothers and sisters, and his parents that week.

A few months ago, I was visiting with a fellow in an airport. After we talked and I asked about him, he asked about me. I said, “I guess you could best describe me as a Mormon missionary. Would you like to know about the Mormon Church?” I asked. He said he would. I got his name and address and asked if I could have two members of the Church call on him. In about three or four weeks, I got a letter telling me how wonderful the experience was.

I think the Lord places many of his elect in our paths, puts them near us, and it is up to us to bring about the linkage between that person and the truth.

Now there are appropriate times and inappropriate times to pursue missionary work. It’s foolish to ask someone if he’d like to know more about the gospel when he’s busy with several other people. But if the person is alone, visit with him or her. And if you do it with a smile and faith in your heart, a good number will respond in the affirmative. Anyone could get at least one person every two or three months for the missionaries to teach.

Elder Richards: Yes! And this doesn’t fail very often! Read Joseph Smith’s testimony every week or how ever often you need it—it’s in the Pearl of Great Price—and I promise you will be filled with the spirit of the restoration. His testimony is the center of our message: that the heavens have been opened, that God the Father and the Son have appeared to the Prophet Joseph Smith, and through him as the instrument in the hands of the Lord, the gospel in its fulness, has been restored, the power to act in the name of God has been restored, and the Church has been re-established. And as a result, we have a prophet standing at the head of the Church today. That’s our message. When we get thoroughly saturated with the message, then we’re willing to talk to people about it. I like to carry these Joseph Smith testimony tracts around with me. I read them and give them to people. It often opens up the conversation.

Elder Richards: There certainly are! Finding and teaching is only a part of the process of obtaining a convert baptism. Another very significant part is working with the missionaries as they teach the contact. I like to emphasize the word working. I’m convinced if we’d spend more time working with those who express interest, we’d have much greater effectiveness. There are two parts to every conversion—there is the doctrinal part (that is given by the missionaries generally), and there is the fellowshipping part, or the loving of people into the Church.

A social transition must come into the life of almost every person who joins the Church. People need friends. We all do. And when they give up one type of living and some of their friends, too, they need social and emotional support through genuine friendship and seeing in their minds the possibility of an enjoyable association in life. This is where every member comes in. The ward mission leader needs to immediately work with the missionaries and the auxiliaries and the members.

For example, if the missionaries teach the nonmember Jones family tonight, and they have children, we want those two missionaries to be able to bring two Relief Society sisters over the next day who are appointed to work with her for a month, taking her to Relief Society meetings. The next day, we want the missionaries to come by with someone from the Primary to invite the children to Primary and to explain what that is. The next day or so, the missionaries should return and invite the teens to Mutual.

I remember years ago I was visiting a branch of the Church in Savannah, Georgia. I was taken to the Relief Society with my wife for lunch. I said, “My, you have a big Relief Society. How many members do you have in the Savannah Branch?” She said, “Well, about 40 sisters.” I said, “There’s a lot more than 40 here this morning.”

“Yes,” she said, “there are 84 here this morning.”

I checked and found out many were investigators and friends of members, all being “worked” and fellowshipped into the community of the Church. Fellowshipping is particularly effective with many of our part-member families.

The average stake has, say 450 prospective elders. About 60 percent are married to nonmember wives. So that’s about 300 nonmember wives. Now, we also have many member women who have married nonmember husbands—let’s say 150. And so, you have 450 or so part-member families. Add the children and you have another 100. That presents a lot of eligible people to be taught by the full-time and stake missionaries, uniting the families, and helping them get to the temple.

I’m a great believer in the power of teaching in groups. But I would not just toss any of these 450 nonmembers and their partners together without thinking and praying about it and making some divisions, grouping the younger-aged couples together, the middle-aged together, the more elderly together. I would subdivide even further. Just because a person is young or old doesn’t mean he is interested in anyone his age—what about educational and vocational and personal interests? Prayerful grouping and teaching of these families in companionable groups results in marvelous things.

Where I have found this most successful, it was because a member of the stake presidency or a high councilor called and said something like, “John, I know you’re not active in the Church, but I’m just calling a group of men and their wives like you to come over and see me individually. I’d just like to talk to you. Would you mind coming over at such and such a time?” Many come and relatively few are bitter—they’re just spiritually dead, as far as outward signs indicate. I’ve heard that many of them respond and say, “This is the first time in 10 years anyone really asked me to come and talk to them.”

Following the visit, the man and his wife may be invited to associate with one of the groups. And just as in the case of a nonmember family, this is exactly where the great help of the members is needed—in the social transition, in the friendshipping. While the discussions are being given, the following activities have shown themselves to be very effective: (a) do something for the investigating family or part-member family daily; (b) take them to Church meetings and socials now—this week!; (c) for nonmember families, coordinate through the missionaries the visits of the auxiliaries during the first weeks; and for part-member families, coordinate through the home teachers the same visits by auxiliary officers and teachers; (d) arrange appropriate activities with ward members; (e) take the family to a baptismal service; (f) arrange a family home evening—even with the part-member family if it would be appreciated; (g) leave a schedule of Church meetings and tracts—but not all of them at once; (h) help with substitutes for Word of Wisdom problems; (i) fast and pray with them; and (j) for part-member families, arrange visits with the bishops—bishops have converting power.

Elder Richards: My advice to such persons is to show their husbands or wives by the way they live the wonderful influence of the gospel in their lives. They should be better parents and more thoughtful, considerate, and happy companions.

As much as possible, they should practice the teachings of the gospel in their homes and bring its influence into the lives of their children.

Whenever possible, their friends should be from among those who will have a good influence, who will build up respect and admiration for the Church and its teachings through their association.

Without pushing, opportunities should be made for the husband or wife to be taught the gospel. Often, this is most effective when the couple can be part of a group that is being taught. If there are others in the group who are in the same circumstances, this often helps.

Never let the husband or wife feel that he or she is an outsider. The member spouse and the family should help the nonmember to feel that family unity, “oneness,” is important, and hold tight to the belief that the family should be “one” in every way.

Above all, and after all else you can do, remember that the greatest help will come from your Heavenly Father. Pray always and be patient.

But your spouse needs help. Fellowshipping plays a vital part here. It concerns me that some of our stake and ward leaders have not fully understood how important fellowshipping is. I tell you this is an area where every member can make a real contribution.

But you just can’t sit around waiting for someone to come up and ask you to fellowship them. Life is not like that. You’ve got to get involved wherever you can, volunteer to help, and just be alert. That’s one of the reasons the Lord gave us the Holy Ghost—to keep us alert to our opportunities for blessing others, as well as ourselves.

I was in Vernal, Utah, near the Colorado border, and met a sister who had just helped a family of five join the Church. She said she was down at the grocery store and saw this woman having trouble finding groceries. “Can I help?” she asked. After helping her, she asked if the woman was just traveling through. The woman said she and her husband were traveling to Colorado to find work, and our sister said, “Well, why don’t you look around here?”

“Oh we wouldn’t know where to look,” said the woman.

“Well,” our good sister said, “let me help you out. Let’s get your groceries and come on over to our home and maybe I can help your husband meet some people who can help him get a job.”

The sister got on the phone and within an hour or two, the man was on the way out to interview for some jobs. He accepted one of them, working and helping to manage a ranch.

Well, do you think this good Samaritan sister stopped there? I should say not. The family of five had nowhere to stay, and so they were invited to stay at her home that night, where they saw happy family life, blessing of the food, family prayers, night and morning, and all the rest. The man and his wife and three children were most appreciative and were interested in this sister and her family. She said that after they got settled, she’d like to let them know why they were the way they were. A week later, she took the missionaries out to this man and his wife—and the family was baptized and eagerly entered the Church. And through it all, our good sister and others provided a transition into the community.

One of the most difficult aspects of conversion is the investigator’s feeling that he is alone and that he is leaving his old friends and way of life for something new. All members can be actively involved—and need to go out of their way to get involved—in helping others find the Church, find new friends, take persons who are investigating the gospel to socials, meetings, athletic events—everything good and wholesome. Otherwise, the investigators generally fear the awkward sensation of being obvious newcomers and strangers. This is another reason why I like grouping part-member families in compatible groups. By teaching several together, we make it possible for new friendships to develop. Many choice things have happened when a group of sincere part-member families get together to learn about their spouse’s religion—and as they talk and learn and share feelings and as the member spouse bears appropriate testimony, even about his or her life, the Spirit moves across their hearts and wonderful truths are discovered. It works! I see and hear about it all the time.