Looking Past Hurt Feelings


The Savior involved himself in the lives of others—even when it hurt, even when they misunderstood him, even when they rejected him. It can be difficult for us to look past our own hurt feelings when people treat us unkindly. However, with practice, we can follow the Savior’s example and do good, even to those who have offended us or seem to dislike us (see Acts 10:38; Matt. 5:43–48).

The following list of questions can help us keep perspective when we face situations that tempt us to judge rashly rather than respond with kindness.

  • Was the hurt intentional or unintentional?

  • Is what this person says true? What can I learn from this situation, and how can I improve myself—even if the person was unkind?

  • Are there extenuating circumstances that may have caused this person to act in an inconsiderate manner?

  • Is it possible that this person hasn’t yet developed the sensitivity and tact that usually come with experience?

  • What would the Savior have me do?

Most of the time, we cannot determine how another person feels or acts, but we can choose how we will respond to him or her. When we’ve been hurt and are tempted to respond with anger, we need to remember that following Christ means conquering pride and anger, apologizing, and being friendly and kind in spite of our feelings. Let us remember: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philip. 4:13).

As we follow the Savior’s example, he will help us change our own perspectives, our own selves, and our own abilities to cope.

[photo] Photograph by Welden Andersen; posed by model