I Just Don’t Fit In!


Do you ever feel as though you’re on the outside, watching everyone else have the fun and the friendships? If you’ve ever felt that way, especially at church, it doesn’t have to stay that way. Feeling alone happens to everybody at some time or another, but there are ways you can feel more comfortable and be a better friend.

Things to Put on Your to Do List

  • Be patient. Things won’t change overnight, but your attitude can. Don’t quit going to church if you don’t feel comfortable at first.

  • Smile. Others will smile back at you.

  • Volunteer to help plan or work on an activity. Being in the middle of things will help you feel you belong, and people are usually eager for help.

  • Make eye contact when you’re speaking with people.

  • Cultivate and share your talents. When you feel comfortable about yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable around other people.

  • Good grooming habits and clean clothes will probably make you feel more confident when you’re around others.

  • Find interests you have in common with others. Riding bikes, playing the piano, and studying are a few activities that are more fun with more than one person. Focusing on an activity rather than on yourself will help you feel less self-conscious and shy.

Focus on Others

  • Set goals. Try giving yourself an assignment, such as meeting two or three new people a week.

  • Talk to others about themselves. Learn the art of asking questions and complimenting others.

  • Learn people’s names and use them when addressing others.

  • Befriend others who seem lonely. Look for those who need your help.

The Lord Is on Your Side

  • Read the Book of Mormon every day. Its calming influence will put you in a good frame of mind not only to meet others, but also to set a good example.

  • Remember you’re not alone. If you ever start feeling sorry for yourself, try getting on your knees. Heavenly Father always understands.

  • The Savior endured hardships and persecution that made Him feel unwanted by His peers. Remembering His sacrifice will help you put your challenges in the proper perspective.

  • Ask the Lord to make weak things strong unto you (see Ether 12:27). Heavenly Father won’t give you any trials that are too hard to bear (see 1 Ne. 3:7). If you sincerely desire to be more friendly and comfortable, He will help you.

[photo] Photograph by John Luke