Trust in Marriage

Eternal Marriage Student Manual, (2003), 342–43


There cannot be peace where there is not trust; there cannot be freedom where there is not loyalty.

—Elder Gordon B. Hinckley

Selected Teachings

Trust

President Howard W. Hunter

“Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed. Pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome fantasies erode one’s character and strike at the foundation of a happy marriage. Unity and trust within a marriage are thereby destroyed. One who does not control his thoughts and thus commits adultery in his heart, if he does not repent, shall not have the Spirit but shall deny the faith and shall fear (see D&C 42:23; 63:16)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 67; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 50).

President Gordon B. Hinckley

“The Lord has proclaimed that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is intended to be an eternal relationship bonded by trust and fidelity. Latter-day Saints, of all people, should marry with this sacred objective in mind” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 58; or Ensign, May 1987, 47).

Elder Marvin J. Ashton

A willingness to maintain confidences. Be worthy of trust even in trivial questions and observations. Weighty questions and observations will only follow if we have been trustworthy with the trivial. Treat innermost trusts and concerns with respect. Build on deserved trust. Individuals who are blessed to have a relationship with someone to whom they can confidently talk and trust are fortunate indeed. Who is to say a family trust is not greater than a community trust?” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1976, 81–82; or Ensign, May 1976, 54).

Greater Respect, Loyalty, and Unity

Elder Ezra Taft Benson

“Marriage itself must be regarded as a sacred covenant before God. A married couple have an obligation not only to each other, but to God. He has promised blessings to those who honor that covenant.

“Fidelity to one’s marriage vows is absolutely essential for love, trust, and peace. Adultery is unequivocally condemned by the Lord.

“Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated. This love will provide a nurturing atmosphere for the emotional growth of children. Family life should be a time of happiness and joy that children can look back on with fond memories and associations” (“Salvation—A Family Affair,” Ensign, July 1992, 2; or Conference Report, Oct. 1982, 85; Ensign, Nov. 1982, 59).

Elder Gordon B. Hinckley

“No nation, no civilization can long endure without strength in the homes of its people. That strength derives from the integrity of those who establish those homes.

“No family can have peace, no home can be free from storms of adversity unless that family and that home are built on foundations of morality, fidelity, and mutual respect. There cannot be peace where there is not trust; there cannot be freedom where there is not loyalty. The warm sunlight of love will not rise out of a swamp of immorality” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 66).

“Was there ever adultery without dishonesty? In the vernacular, the evil is described as ‘cheating.’ And cheating it is, for it robs virtue, it robs loyalty, it robs sacred promises, it robs self-respect, it robs truth. It involves deception. It is personal dishonesty of the worst kind, for it becomes a betrayal of the most sacred of human relationships, and a denial of covenants and promises entered into before God and man. It is the sordid violation of a trust. It is a selfish casting aside of the law of God, and like other forms of dishonesty its fruits are sorrow, bitterness, heartbroken companions, and betrayed children” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1976, 92; or Ensign, May 1976, 61).

Elder James E. Faust

“Complete trust in each other is one of the greatest enriching factors in marriage. Nothing devastates the core of mutual trust necessary to maintain a fulfilling relationship like infidelity. There is never a justification for adultery. Despite this destructive experience, occasionally marriages are saved and families preserved. To do so requires the aggrieved party to be capable of giving unreserved love great enough to forgive and forget. It requires the errant party to want desperately to repent and actually forsake evil.

“Our loyalty to our eternal companion should not be merely physical, but mental and spiritual as well. Since there are no harmless flirtations and no place for jealousy after marriage, it is best to avoid the very appearance of evil by shunning any questionable contact with another to whom we are not married” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, 13–14; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, 10).

Sister Barbara B. Smith

“The scriptural passages in Proverbs 31 are well known for their listing of the admirable qualities of the virtuous woman, whose ‘price is far above rubies’ (verse 10), but in verse 11 we discover a remarkable description of marriage. It reads: ‘The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.’ This memorable line discloses, first, that the husband has entrusted his heart to his wife, and second, that she safeguards it. They seem to understand an important truth, that every man and woman who covenant to establish a family must create a safe place for their love.

“The longing of the human heart is often for someone who will treat tenderly the devotion one has to give. We hear it in the words of a poem by William Butler Yeats: the man has just laid the wishes of his heart at the feet of his beloved, and then he pleads, ‘Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.’ (‘He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven,’ The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, 3d ed., New York: Oxford University Press, p. 585.) …

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1981, 117; or Ensign, Nov. 1981, 84).