“Should we pray with our dates before going out, while out, or when we come home?”

Answer/Sister Ardeth G. Kapp

Whenever prayer is offered with a sincere heart in a reverential, worshipful manner, it is appropriate, and as you seriously consider the intent of your prayer, you will become aware of those circumstances most suited to communication with your Father in heaven.

Further questions concerning when one should pray could be asked to help you find your own right answer. What is the intent and purpose of having prayer with a date? Just because it seems like a good habit? To strengthen a boy-girl relationship that is very special? A request for protection in relation to travel? A personal yearning to be more confident, with ability to speak more freely? It may be a request to be endowed with the power to resist and avoid all temptation and be protected from the adversary, or maybe to comply with the words spoken by President N. Eldon Tanner to “remember who you are and act accordingly.”

If, however, the only reason for prayer is to let your date know you are a “righteous” person, there are other ways of sharing your testimony and commitment that may be even more effective. Consistently high standards will speak loudly in your behalf. You will reveal your spirituality and your faith in your attitude, your speech, and your conduct.

Whenever a prayer is offered on a date, whether kneeling in your home or in the mountains, the important thing is to have faith and be in tune so that after your prayer is offered you are prepared to listen for and expect an answer. This is beautifully illustrated by the testimony of a young girl who attended summer camp. During her camping experience it was suggested by one of the leaders that the girls might want to find a private spot in nature where they could be by themselves and talk with God. Some weeks later in a fast and testimony meeting, Becky stood up and told about how she had found a private spot, knelt down in a quiet, wooded area surrounded by tall pines and a few quaking aspens, and offered a simple prayer: “Father in heaven, do you know I’m here?” She went on to tell how she waited and waited, and as a breeze fluttered the leaves, she opened her eyes to see the rays of sun filter through the trees. She said a feeling came over her, and with deep emotion these were her words, “You may not think it was anything, but I knew He knew I was there.”

The Lord has directed his children to pray “always that they faint not; and inasmuch as they do this, I will be with them even unto the end.” (D&C 75:11.)

He has further instructed us, “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.” (D&C 10:5.)

As we think about praying with friends, we should know that He has said, “You must pray vocally before the world as well as in secret, and in your family, and among your friends, and in all places.” (D&C 23:6.)

Anticipation of a date brings with it some unknowns. Life is a path untraveled, and hurdles can loom across one’s way unexpectedly. Situations may come that you are not prepared to handle. Having committed yourself to your Father in heaven to do the best you can, you may then request added strength and protection for situations you may not be able to handle alone, such as discouragement, disappointment, and danger, as well as all other temptations found in the many vile winds that are blowing to thwart your progress and distract you from the path that will lead you to your ultimate destination.

As you choose to make prayer a vital part of your daily life, you are opening the door or responding to the invitation to establish that relationship, that communication, that powerline with God, who knows you and knows your needs and the yearnings of your heart even before you pray. “For your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” (Matt. 6:8.)

In preparation for a date or any other occasion, there is a strength and feeling of protection and well-being that comes from a very personal private communication addressed to the Father and in the name of Jesus Christ. As we learn to listen for those promptings of the Spirit in answer to our prayers, we draw strength from communication with our Heavenly Father.

Young people who are conscientious about their private prayers and then come together for a date can be sure they will each bring to that association a sweet spirit and influence.

A prayer together before, during, or after a date is not usually necessary, and in some cases could cause misunderstanding or embarrassment if both parties did not share the same regard for such an experience. And it is well to note that prayers on the occasion of a date are worthless if, following the prayer, you deliberately allow yourselves to be found in situations where the Spirit of the Lord will not be present. These prayers become a mockery to God, and God will not be mocked. “For I, the Lord, am not to be mocked in these things.” (D&C 104:6.)

Many wonderful friendships grow out of the dating years, and young men and young women have a powerful influence on each other for good or ill. The association with a boy or girl who has private prayers regularly and strives to live accordingly will be a strength to all who share the influence of that friendship. At that time when two people begin to think seriously of each other and the possibility of planning an eternal companionship develops, then the need to learn to pray together and unitedly supplicate the Lord is essential. It is this awareness of each other’s spiritual potential and relationship with the Savior that reveals the most important attributes required of one who may become your eternal companion.

As you seek earnestly for direction you will want to remember the admonition given in the Doctrine and Covenants: “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” (D&C 112:10.) And finally, in paraphrasing the words of Becky’s testimony regarding prayer, “There may be some who will not think it is anything, but you will know that He knows that you are there.”