Emotionally and spiritually, I was about ready to hit rock bottom, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. Nor would I face the fact that I was the cause of my own troubles. I kept thinking that I’d be okay. I kept trying to ignore the consequences of my actions. I blamed others for the growing emptiness and discontent I felt.
Activities with one group of friends were pulling me away from the Lord, my family, my testimony, and my prayers. I didn’t feel worthy to pray. The prayers I did offer were hollow. I knew they wouldn’t make it past the ceiling. I was also pulling away from my best friend, Ann. But she wouldn’t let go.
She stopped by to see me one day after school, and we went outside to talk. She pointedly asked, “How are you?”
“Good,” I shot back a bit defensively, conscious of my poor choice of grammar, which matched my rebellious mood.
“Just how good are you?” she pushed.
Without thinking I blurted out a phrase I had picked up from my new group of friends. “Good enough for who I’m for!”
Often, instead of doing their best, they did just enough to get by. “It’s good enough for who it’s for,” was their common cliche.
As soon as my words escaped my lips I wanted to recall them. They echoed through the emptiness I felt.
“Are you really?” Ann queried.
The words stung bitterly as questions raced through my mind. “Who was I really for? And what was I good for? Was I still for the Lord?” It didn’t even seem like I was for myself anymore. It was time to take a good hard look at myself. Now when I look back on that confrontation, I thank the Lord for a friend who wouldn’t allow me to push her away. Our conversation caused me to reflect upon where I was and who I was for. It caused me to begin to make some major changes in my life.
I decided I would be for the Lord. I would work for his cause and to fulfill his purposes. Now I know who I’m for, but I’m still working on being good enough for who I’m for.