Who’s Your Friend?

Some years ago while on a family vacation, we acquired a rather unusual pet—a water snake from the beaches of Puget Sound. My children named him Sneaky, short for Sneaky Snake.

Early one morning while the family was out walking, Sneaky somehow got out of his cardboard box. When the room attendant entered to tidy the room, Sneaky headed for the open door. The attendant slammed the door in absolute terror, and since Sneaky got caught in it, we might say he came all apart.

It was the end of Sneaky, the beginning of a nervous breakdown for the attendant, and a time of weeping on the part of our children. Now, there is a lesson here. The attendant had erroneously perceived Sneaky as something less than the friend he was.

All of us may have been at one time or other confused as to just who our true friends are. For example, some years ago in my medical office I had occasion to examine a young man approximately the same age as you young men of the Aaronic Priesthood. After several tests, I found myself amazed. He was an alcoholic!

He told me he had begun having alcoholic drinks at a very early age due to the encouragement of his so-called “friends.” I wondered to myself, Are “friends” who encourage us to break the Word of Wisdom really true friends? Phrases like “Just try it once” or “Everybody does it” are all too commonly used. Would true friends pressure us that way?

Medical research tells us that by far the majority of young people who begin using alcohol or tobacco products do so with the urging of their “friends.” But a true friend of yours and mine gave us the Word of Wisdom through his Prophet Joseph Smith. The Lord has told us that neither strong drinks, meaning alcoholic drinks, nor tobacco are for the body, and they are not good for man (see D&C 89:5–8).

As a physician who for 40 years has witnessed firsthand the truth of those statements, I testify they are true. The beautiful scenes in magazine advertisements are not what the end results of cigarette smoking prove to be. This advertising is very deceptive. The end results are oxygen masks, intravenous medication, and literally hours of pain, and gasping for breath.

Remember, approximately 5,000 people a day quit smoking, and another 1,000—every single day—die from cigarette smoking, or one in every 90 seconds, in the United States alone. Smoking is indeed becoming less popular as the heavy smokers, one by one, pass on. If an industrial accident killed everyone in the entire Salt Lake Valley, the nation would be horrified. That, however, is the scale of the annual tobacco disaster. One out of every six people who dies in the United States dies as a result of smoking. Yet cigarette companies spend billions to keep customers buying their wares.

I had my own warning labels pasted on all cigarette advertising in the magazines in my medical office waiting room. They said, “Many of the ads in this magazine are misleading and deceptive and are a rip-off. For example, smoking does not make one glamorous, macho, or athletic. It does make one sick, poor, and dead.”

Almost inevitably, the user of hard drugs begins first with alcohol or tobacco, both of which are highly addicting drugs themselves.

In addition, the real damage from the use of these things is usually even more severe to our spiritual lives than it is to our physical bodies. Now would a true friend be one to entice you to use them? I’m sure he or she would not.

Look closely at your friends. Cultivate good friends. They’re so valuable. Remember the Savior valued his friends so highly he would lay down his life for them. He said, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (see John 15:13–14). Friendship is an extremely important part of your life. Someone has said a true friend is someone who makes it easier to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Many of you will be, at some time or another, approached by one or more of your “friends” who will entice you to do something you know you should not do—it might be something you know deep down inside will hurt you, your parents, and your Father in Heaven. It may be violating the Word of Wisdom or committing moral transgression, which is so displeasing to the Lord. “No one will ever know,” the so-called “friends” will tell you. “Besides, what difference will it make?”

My young friends, you don’t have to reject your friends who are on the wrong path. You don’t even have to give them up, necessarily. You can be their caring friend, ready to help them when they are ready to be helped. You can lift them and bear your testimony to them. Lead by example.

But don’t ever be led into displeasing your Father in Heaven by “friends” who ask that as a condition of being your friend, you must choose between their way and the Lord’s way. If that happens, choose the Lord’s way. Then look for new friends.

Some of the most trusted friends you can have on this earth are loving parents and family. It may be that only when you have children of your own will you fully appreciate the love that can exist between parents and children. You’ll find that advice from good parents as to who true friends should be will be very reliable and valuable to you. Choose your true friends wisely. They will provide the foundation of spiritual strength that will enable you to make important decisions correctly.

Above all, be a friend of the Savior. If you have not done so previously, now is the time to let him know you consider him your true friend and that you will be a true friend of his. With Jesus Christ as your friend, you will receive increased strength and testimony that will uphold you against temptations when they arise. That will without exception lift your vision and bring you comfort, guidance, peace, and other true friends.