Advice to Young Women on Dating


Dating is fun! Dating is an opportunity for you to develop and expand your friendships with young men. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave a simple and meaningful definition of a friend: “Friends are people who make it easier to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.” 1 Date young men who make you want to be a better person. “Be your best self” so you can be a good influence to those you date. 2

Become the Kind of Person You Would Like to Date

You can begin now to work on developing those qualities that will make you attractive and interesting.

  • Smile! Yes, smile and be happy. And your smile will be infectious and help others enjoy your company.

  • Be spiritually fit. Do those things that will draw you close to the Holy Ghost so He can be your constant companion.

  • Be physically fit. Take good care of your body, be active, and practice healthy eating habits. Be well-groomed.

  • Develop your interests and talents. Seek all the education you can. You could read great books, listen to good music, know current events, or learn another language.

  • Behave like a daughter of God. Do not be forward, loud, brash, or suggestive. You may have seen this kind of behavior in movies, but it is not fitting for a young woman who understands her identity as a daughter of God.

  • Improve your social skills. Be kind, inclusive of others, and considerate of others’ needs. Practice communicating in person. Learn proper etiquette and manners. All of these things will help you become the kind of person others will want to be around.

  • Be interested in people. Show interest in others and in the things they like to do. Ask questions that will help them feel comfortable and help you get to know them better.

  • Set limits. Do not allow others to take advantage of you. Maintain your purity.

  • Live the standards in For the Strength of Youth. Don’t hesitate to share these standards with those you date. Do not lower your standards for anyone. If someone expects you to do so, he or she is not worthy of your friendship or companionship.

  • Help others become their best selves. Make them better for having had a date with you. Even if you do not have many opportunities to date, you can smile and make new friends. Choose to be optimistic. Even disappointments in dating can help you grow. Every person you meet can enrich your life, and you can bless others as you share with them your best self.

Choose Wisely Those You Date

Dating is an opportunity to get to know young men in preparation for marriage. Be careful about those you choose to date. When you are considering going with a young man, make sure that he has high standards and will always help you live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself:

  • Does he have a strong and good character?

  • Is he trustworthy and dependable?

  • Is he honest?

  • Is he respectful and kind to others and to me?

  • Is he unselfish?

  • Does he respect my parents and honor his parents?

  • Does he honor his priesthood?

  • Does he motivate me to be my very best?

  • Is he worthy to attend the temple?

Have fun and be fun on dates as you get to know others. Plan engaging activities together. Some of the most fun dates can be as simple as cooking a meal together. Or consider a service opportunity. You can observe and get to know the other person better by doing activities than by just sitting and watching movies.

Our prophet has said, “In dating, treat your date with respect, and expect your date to show that same respect for you.” 3 We know that you will be a positive influence in the lives of all the young men you date—and all your friends who see your righteous example.

As you continue to develop your gifts and talents, make wise choices in your friendships with others, and become a righteous influence, your years of dating will be positive, rewarding, and fun. This is a time to set your sights high, expect the best, and become all that our Heavenly Father intends for you to become. You are a daughter of our Heavenly Father; He loves you, and so do we.

Looking toward the Temple

President Thomas S. Monson

“You have an important responsibility in choosing not only whom you will date but also whom you will marry. …

“I would admonish you to maintain an eternal perspective. Make certain that the marriage in your future is a temple marriage. There is no scene so sweet, no time so sacred as that very special day of your marriage. Then and there you glimpse celestial joy. Be alert; do not permit temptation to rob you of this blessing.”

President Thomas S. Monson, “Whom Shall I Marry?” New Era, Oct. 2004, 4, 6.

“Friends are people who make it easier to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

Photograph of Montreal Quebec Temple © laurent Lucuix

Show References

    Notes

  1.   1.

    Robert D. Hales, “This Is the Way; and There Is None Other Way,” in Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year, 1981–82 (1982), 67.

  2.   2.

    Thomas S. Monson, “Be Your Best Self,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2009, 67.

  3.   3.

    Thomas S. Monson, “Standards of Strength,” New Era, Oct. 2008, 5.