Questions and Answers


“Whenever I invite my friend to come to church and activities, she wants to come, but her parents won’t let her. Is there anything I can do?”

The Church teaches that children should respect and obey their parents. So, as a member of the Church, it follows that you should not turn against that advice and encourage your friend to go against her parents’ wishes in attending Church activities and meetings.

You need to continue being a good example in all things, and you should encourage your friend to be patient. Her parents may come to realize that the influence of the Church is a desirable thing in their daughter’s life. As for participation in the Church, she may have to wait until she comes of age and is able to make decisions for herself.

However, you can continue to be a good, supportive friend. In many ways, she will learn the principles of the Church by the things you do. The best thing you can do is make sure you are an active example of what Christ wants you to be and do.

Make sure she knows she is always welcome at meetings and activities and that you will remain her friend.

Be an Example

Your example is your strongest testimony. Be the very best you can be, and she and her parents will see that light shining through you. Eventually, they will trust you enough to let her go. And if not, then at the very least, she will remember your example.

McLane S., 17, Missouri, USA

Ask Parents to Talk

A good thing to do would be to ask your parents to talk to your friend’s parents if your friend’s parents want to know more about the gospel and what their son or daughter would be doing at church. Pray that the Lord will soften their hearts. Fasting would also help.

Drew A., 13, Minnesota, USA

Respect Their Privacy

I have a simliar situation. I tried to invite one of my friends to church and to Mutual. His parents haven’t been interested. After a few more tries, I’ve realized I need to respect their privacy. Pray to our Heavenly Father to help soften their hearts about the Church if it is His will. And if it is, then they may change their minds about letting your friend come to Church activities.

Audrie F., 14, Utah, USA

Discuss the Gospel

Whenever my friends and I see our friend at either school or in activities outside of classes, we usually find opportunities to share our thoughts on the gospel. She respects the gospel, and I have seen her turn away from temptation.

Zachary K., 15, Arizona, USA

Have Faith

Have faith in the Lord’s love that a way will be prepared for her to come unto Him. At the same time, remind your friend to also have faith that eventually she can come to church as she wants.

Joseph S., 15, North Carolina, USA

Put Your Trust in Him

Remember to be respectful and understanding towards her. Keep showing a Christlike example and being a good friend. If the Lord wants something to happen, it will. Put your trust in Him and try your hardest.

Rachel S., 14, Missouri, USA

Stay Friends

Just keep being her friend. Your example will shine through. Once her parents see the way you live, they just might change their minds.

Lisa H., 17, Louisiana, USA

Invite the Family

I would definitely pray that they will allow her to attend activities and meetings. Maybe you could invite the entire family to go to church one Sunday, or invite them to go to a ward activity.

Bret G., 16, Oregon, USA

Keep Asking

Being an example of Christ will show a lot to the parents. Remain strong and courageous and keep asking.

Gregory F., 15, Pennsylvania, USA

Be a Friend, and Pray

A good way to handle a tough situation like this is to continue to be a good friend. People notice when someone is nice to them. You can also pray to the Lord. Pray that He will soften her parents’ hearts.

Alexa B., 14, Arizona, USA

Gain Trust

I would just continue to be the best friend that you can be. Also be a good example of a member of the Church, so her parents can see that it can’t be a bad thing for their child to hang out with and go to some activities with you.

Timothy S., 14, California, USA

Do Something Together

Suggest having a combined family night. This will allow your friend’s parent to get to know your family better. Hopefully this will gain their trust.

Sidney H., 15, Texas, USA

Responses are intended for help and perspective, not as official pronouncements of Church doctrine.

Honoring Parents

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

“To young people, honoring parents is appropriately understood to focus on obedience, respect, and emulation of righteous parents. The Apostle Paul illuminated that focus when he taught, ‘Children, obey your parents in all things [I believe he meant all righteous things]: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.’ (Col. 3:20.)”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “‘Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother,’” Ensign, May 1991, 15.

Next Question

“I’ve never been really close to my dad. Whenever I am around him, I tend to get grumpy and short-tempered. What can I do to be closer to him?”

Send your answer and photo by April 15, 2011.

Go to newera.lds.org, click “Submit Your Material,” and then select “Questions and Answers.”

You can also write to us at newera@ldschurch.org or

New Era, Q&A, Dad
50 E. North Temple St., Rm. 2420
Salt Lake City, UT 84150-0024, USA

Responses may be edited for length or clarity.