Questions and Answers


“My sister lies to our parents about where she is and who she is with. What should I do?”

It’s natural to worry about your sister because you care about her, but she is responsible for her choices, and your parents are responsible for teaching and helping her. So talk to your parents about your concern.

Now is the best time to talk to them—before something bad happens to your sister. If you didn’t tell them what she was doing and she got hurt or into serious trouble, you would feel terrible. Talking to your parents will actually show your sister that you care about her.

Lying is wrong, and your sister needs to overcome it and remember her relationship and accountability to God. And depending on what she’s doing, she may be getting into other problems, so it will be best to solve them before they get worse. Get some help; talk to your parents about it.

Help Her Get Back on the Strait and Narrow

If my sister were lying to my parents about where she is and who she is with, I would tell my parents because I know if she was lying about it, it would be bad what she was doing. So I would be trying to get her back on the strait and narrow path.

Sam J., 13, Washington

Tell the Truth

First, always set a good example yourself and tell the truth. Second, let your mom and dad know what’s going on, and ask their advice about the problem. Third, be your sister’s friend. Let her know she can trust you. Encourage her to pray, live Church standards, attend church and social activities, and read the scriptures, especially verses that you think could help her. But remember, God gave us all the freedom to choose right from wrong, and your sister is choosing to do what she’s doing, so don’t blame yourself or feel discouraged if things don’t change right away. But never stop being an example and a friend and praying and fasting for her.

Andrew B., 14, Nevada

Integrity Is the Right Answer

Of course, you cannot make the decision for your sister; it is her choice to be honest to your parents. You are, however, in a position to help. Talking to her about the situation would be best. Be open, honest, and let her know you care. Let her know that your parents love her and will be forgiving and understanding. Help her to understand that she will be forgiven and blessed for telling the truth. Having integrity is always the right answer; blessings of peace and self-confidence will follow.

Elder Kelvin Wonder Peni, 24, Zimbabwe Harare Mission

To Protect Her

I would tell my parents who she is with and where she is because it is the right thing to do. If she thinks that I am telling on her, I would tell her that I am trying to protect her and keep her away from harmful things. I would pray for her that she would make better decisions. I would also set a good example.

Dallin B., 12, Georgia

It’s Wrong to Lie

Before you tell your parents, try talking it out with your sister first. Let her know that it’s wrong to lie. Give her a chance to make it up with your parents. If she’s lying about something serious and won’t talk, then it’s time to consult your parents.

Monica Y., 17, California

Let Your Parents Know

You love your sister, and you want what’s best for her. You should first bring it up with her and try to talk about it and let her know that you love her and don’t want to see her get hurt. If something bad happens to her, you would regret not talking to your parents before. Let your parents know that they should talk with her and encourage her to be honest and always choose the right.

Tyson B., 18, California

Lying Hurts the Family

When a family member lies, he or she doesn’t just hurt the parents; it hurts the rest of the family too. Sometimes that person doesn’t realize it, so it would be wonderful if you could help her realize it.

Chelsea P., 13, Wyoming

Responses are intended for help and perspective, not as pronouncements of Church doctrine.

The Burden of Living a Lie

Elder Marvin J. Ashton

“No man will ever be totally free who is living a lie. Only he who bears or who has borne such a continuing burden can relate appropriately to such a declaration. We should ever bear in mind that a wrong isn’t right just because many people do it. A wrong deed isn’t right just because it hasn’t become visible.

“May our Heavenly Father help us to have the courage to acknowledge and cast aside the living of a lie or the perpetuation of lies. Honesty is more than a policy. It is a happy way of life as we deal with our fellowmen, and particularly as we live with ourselves.”

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Ensign, May 1982, 11.

Next Question

“I don’t have a testimony even though I’ve been a member all my life. I go to church and keep the commandments, but how can I believe and gain a testimony?”

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