Izithombe Eziyichilo
Ngikhuluma kanjani nomntwana wami ngemizwa yocansi ngokwakhayo na?


“Ngikhuluma kanjani nomntwana wami ngemizwa yocansi ngokwakhayo na?” Usizo lwabaZali (2021)

“Ngikhuluma kanjani nomntwana wami ngemizwa yocansi ngokwakhayo na?” Usizo lwabaZali

Isithombe
umndeni uhamba phandle

Ngikhuluma kanjani nomntwana wami ngemizwa yocansi ngokwakhayo na?

Abazali abaningi bazizwa benqikaza noma benamahloni ukukhuluma nabantwana babo ngemizwa yocansi, noma basaba ukuthi ukukhuluma nabantwana babo ngemizwa yocansi kuzobangela ukuba behlezi becabanga ngocansi. Iqiniso ukuthi, uma ungakhulumi nabantwana bakho mayelana nemizwa yabo yocansi, bazofunda ngakho kwenye indawo. Uma uhlezi uba nezingxoxo nabantwana bakho mayelana nezihloko ezibalulekile njengemizwa yocansi ngokwakhayo, uyabasiza ukuthi bebone ukuthi ungumuntu ophephile abangaya kuye.

Abantwana abaningi ngokwemvelo banosikisiki lokwazi, futhi bayafuna ukuyiqonda lemizwa yemvelo abayizwayo, abayinikwe nguNkulunkulu. Ungazilungiselela ukukhuluma nabantwana bakho ngemizwa yocansi ngokukhumbula ukuthi wena wawunjani ngesikhathi ungangabo. Ngabe wawuba nemizwa enjani na? Wawuba namiphi imicabango, imibuzo, noma ukukhathazeka na? Wawulufunaphi ulwazi na? Yikuphi ofisa sengathi ngabe wakuzwa noma wafundiswa kona na?

Kulungile ukuzizwa ungaqinisekile ngokuthi ungaqala uthini. Ungakusebenzisa ukungaqiniseki kwakho ukwakha ubudlelwane nabantwana bakho. Abantwana bangaluzwa uthando lwakho ngesikhathi ukhuluma nabo ngokwethembeka nangobuqotho, yize kunokwenzeka ukuthi awukhululekile.

Ukuze ukhuthaze ukuxhumana okuvulekile, unga-:

  • Qala ngokubiza amalunga omzimba ngamagama awo kusukela abantwana bakho besebancane. Lokhu kufundisa abantwana ngemizimba yabo futhi kubanikeza amazwi abawadingayo ukuze baphile futhi bebe nolwazi.

  • Yazisa abantwana bakho ukuthi bangakubuza noma yimiphi imibuzo, futhi zama ukungabi nehaba noma ubenze babe namahloni ngemibuzo yabo noma uma bevuma izono zabo. Bakhombise ukuthi uyakujabulela ukuthi bayakhuluma nawe, batshengise uthando nokuthi uyabeseka, futhi yenza konke okusemandleni ukuhlezi ukhuluma nabo.

  • Gwema ukusebenzisa izingathekiso zemizwa yocansi. Abantwana badinga ukunikwa ulwazi olucacile futhi ngokwethembeka. Ngokwesibonelo, enye intsha ike ikhulume ngezifundo lapho ukuphula umthetho wobumsulwa kuqhathaniswa nokudla ushingamu noma ukudla osekudluliswe kubantu abaningi futhi okungasathandeki. Yize izinhloso zizinhle, izingathekiso ezinjengalezi imvama zibangela ukuyesaba imizwa yocansi noma ukuba nemizwa yokungazethembi okungasenakulungiswa.

  • Yibani nezifundo zobusuku bomndeni ezinezihloko eziphathelene nemizwa yocansi futhi ubavumele abantwana bakho bafundise uma sebezizwa bekulungele lokho. Izihloko okungafundwa ngazo kungaba ukuthomba, yisithombe somzimba, nokuyibuka kahle imizwa yocansi.

  • Xoxani ngokuthi ukuba nemizwa yocansi nokuvuka kwemizwa yocansi kujwayelekile. Abantwana abadingi ukwenza okuthile ngenxa yaleyo mizwa kodwa bangayikhumbula leyo mizwa. Lokhu kuchaza ukuyinaka imizwa yocansi kodwa ungayehluleli kabi. Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi ukuzijwayeza ukunaka kusiza abantwana bathathe izinqumo ezihambiselana nemigomo nezinhloso zabo.

  • Zama ukungabi nokwenyanya noma intukuthelo uma abantwana bezithinta. Indlela abazali abaphendula ngayo kulemikhuba kuthinta indlela abantwana nentsha abazizwa ngayo nemizwa yabo yocansi.

  • Fundisa abantwana isizathu ngokuba khona kwemigomo ephathelene nobudlelwane nemizwa yocansi. Ngesikhathi ufundisa ngalemigomo nezizathu zokuthi kungani iyigugu, khumbula ukuthi kubalulekile ukwenza lokhu ngaphandle kokubangela amahloni noma ukwesaba.1

Imithombo okuthathwe kuyo lemfundiso

  1. Amaphuzu acashunwe futhi aguqulwa ethathelwe kuLaura M. Padilla-Walker noMeg O. Jankovich, “How, When, and Why: Talking to Your Children about Sexuality,” iLiyahona ngo-Agasti 2020.