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How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to Others?

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I constantly compare myself to others, especially those who seem to have perfect lives. How do I feel more confident?

Pray to Know Your Gifts

You have so many talents and spiritual gifts that Heavenly Father has given you personally. There are ways that only you can bless other people’s lives. This is Heavenly Father’s plan. Pray to know what gifts you have been given, and if you need more guidance, ask those close to you. By listening to the Spirit and striving to discover and develop your talents and divine qualities, you can find confidence in yourself that you may have never found before. (Read “How to Discover Your Gifts.”)

Amy P., age 17, Kentucky, USA

Pray for Confidence

I used to compare myself to others who I thought were far ahead of me, particularly people who were more financially stable. Whenever I prayed to Heavenly Father, He gave me confidence in myself. (Watch “True Confidence.”) I knew that no matter the challenge, God would help me because He does not give us duty save it be that He prepares way for us to accomplish it (see 1 Nephi 3:7; 17:3).

Joshua O., age 19, Lagos, Nigeria

“We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others. … This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. …

“… [God] wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you're not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.”

—Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Forget Me Not,” Oct. 2011 general conference

Get to Know Them Better

Whenever I find that I am comparing myself to someone else, I try to get to know that person a little bit better. When I become acquainted with my “idol,” the reality hits hard that every human being on earth faces trials in their life. The more I talk to that person, the more I begin to view them as a friend and not someone who is seemingly flawless. Everyone is an heir to the kingdom of God (see Ephesians 3:6); we all are unique.

Amelia C., age 15, Idaho, USA

Only Heavenly Father’s Opinion Matters

In his October 2016 conference address “Am I Good Enough? Will I Make It?” Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy says: “The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us. Please sincerely ask Him what He thinks of you. He will love and correct but never discourage us.” When I think I will never be as good as the people around me, I turn to my Heavenly Father and try to remember that I am the daughter of a loving God who is willing to help me reach my full potential and be who He knows I can be if I seek Him. (Watch “He Knows Me.”)

Amanda M., age 19, Paraná, Brazil

Responses are intended for help and perspective, not as official pronouncements of Church doctrine.

This article originally appeared in the June 2018 New Era.

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