After All
    Footnotes

    “After All,” Ensign, Nov. 1971, 80

    After All

    I watched the falling rain with awe from my window,

    contemplated the thunder, and thrilled to hear the wind blow,

    For here was the wonder of nature in all its splendor,

    straight from God our Father, the gracious sender;

    Watching it cover every lawn, tree, and flower,

    knowing it would continue hour after hour,

    It made me thankful for the blessings God provides;

    among his earthly children, his treasures he divides.

    Without the rain the earth too soon would be

    dry, barren, useless ground, devoid of all fertility;

    So I’m glad to see the rain come, from heaven sent,

    but why on the day of the ward golf tournament!

    Elder Danny M. Kesterson
    Ontario-Quebec Mission

    Policeman: Didn’t you see that arrow?

    Motorist: Arrow? I didn’t even see the Indian.

    Following a lengthy and heartfelt sacrament meeting discourse by a new father, drawing a detailed analogy between the beauties of childbirth and those of spiritual birth, the bishop of the ward rose to the pulpit and closed the meeting with, “I’m sure you all will join with me in appreciation of our speaker. We would like to thank him for his fine delivery.”

    Steve and Kathy Anderson
    Provo, Utah

    First Duck: Don’t you wish you could fly as fast as that twin-jet that just went by?

    Second Duck: Listen, if I had two tails and they were both on fire, you wouldn’t even see me go by!

    A man asked his landlady to cook some sausages for him. “How’ll I cook them?” she asked. “Fry ‘em like fish,” he replied. The next morning when the landlady served them, she commented, “I hope you enjoy your breakfast, sir, but there’s not much in these things when they’re cleaned out.”

    A good teacher is one who can understand those not very good at explaining, and explain it to those who are not very good at understanding.

    A stake president telephoned a man in his stake to inquire about some important information. When an obviously young voice answered, the caller asked whether there was anyone else at home. The child replied, “My brother’s home.”

    “Well, let me speak with him, please.”

    After some delay, the child picked up the telephone again and said. “He can’t come to the phone.”

    The president becoming somewhat impatient, asked, “Why not?”

    The little voice on the other end of the line answered, “Because I can’t get him out of his crib.”

    Douglas C. Bennion
    Salt Lake City, Utah