Treat Everyone As If He Were a Mormon

“When my grandmother was about 13 years old, she was out in front of her small home in Georgia sweeping the porch. A couple of men came by and asked to talk to her parents. During that day those two men taught my grandmother and her family about Joseph Smith, the restored gospel, and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That night the missionaries were driven out of the city by some other people in the neighborhood. For 23 years my family had no contact with the Church, but when the elders were finally able to return, Grandma was baptized.”

Scott Miller is 18 and lives in the Brigham City Third Ward, Brigham City Utah Stake. The story of his family’s first contact with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the debt he feels to those early missionary efforts are not much different from those of other young people in the Church. Perhaps that is why their own missionary spirit is so high—that and the fact that the prophet they love has given them a special charge.

Fourteen of these young people gathered in the New Era offices to talk about their sense of duty, their excitement, and their ideas concerning the sharing of the gospel. Those participating were Beverly Thompson, 18, Barbara Lee Olsen, 16, Brian Tuft, 15, Wynn Hall, 17, and Scott Miller, 18, of the Brigham City Utah Stake; Randy Rupp, 17, Alan Watson, 16, Wanda Taylor, 15, and Leana Ewell, 14, of the Taylorsville Utah West Stake; and Wayne Gay, 18, Kim Tolman, 18, Teresa Kennington, 18, Jeff Ranck, 18, and Alan Anderson, 17, of the American Fork Utah Stake.

Many of these young people have taken missionary preparation classes offered in their stakes and have done actual missionary work among their friends at school and with the full-time missionaries or the seventies. At least two have had baptisms result from their efforts, and all have made friends for the Church. The questions they have answered here were submitted, for the most part, by New Era readers.

NEW ERA: Young men, what is your obligation as far as missionary work goes?

WYNN: First, to prepare myself so that when I come of age to serve a full-time mission, I will be ready. The prophet has said that he wants more missionaries, but he doesn’t want just any kind of missionaries. He wants well-trained, well-prepared missionaries. Our obligation now is to prepare ourselves so that we’ll not only be spiritually worthy and know how to teach, but that we’ll be converted ourselves before we go.

WAYNE: In the missionary training course in our stake, they told us that before we go into the mission field, we should all have read the Book of Mormon. That will give us a head start in lots of ways—for one, we’ll know what we’re teaching.

BRIAN: One thing I want to add is that if you have any bad habits now, you can’t say, “Well, when it’s time for me to go on a mission, I’ll get rid of my bad habits.” You have to get your good habits started and your bad habits broken before you go so that it’s not a last-minute thing.

SCOTT: I think there is another area that goes along with preparation. We have an obligation, not just young men, but all members of the Church, to share the gospel now—in our schools, at work, in our communities, with nonmember friends. And we ought to make them a part of what we do whether they join the Church or not.

NEW ERA: Girls, what’s your obligation?

WANDA: Every member is supposed to be a missionary. I have lots of friends who have questions about the Church, and I can probably answer many of them. We should try to do all we can.

BEVERLY: I think we can also help by encouraging the boys to go on missions, but I don’t think we can always just come right out and say, “Well, I think you ought to go on a mission.” That might turn the guys off. I think we can encourage them more in the little things that we do each day. For instance, if they get their hair cut, we can say, “Hey, I really think your hair looks nice,” and they will realize that we like them to look like missionaries. It is in the little things that we do and say, the example that we set for them, that we can help the most.

NEW ERA: If I invite the missionaries to my home to meet and visit with some of my friends, is there anything I should do to prepare my friends for the occasion?

SCOTT: I think one of the best things you could do would be to fast and pray and invite the Spirit of the Lord to be present at the discussion. That’s the medium through which the teaching will take place.

BRIAN: If you invite someone into your home, you have to prepare them for it in other ways, too. You need to talk to them so that they will know what to expect and what’s going to happen.

BEVERLY: There’s another thing that goes along with what Brian said. If you have had them over to your house before, they will feel more at ease at being there with the missionaries.

TERESA: That’s a good idea. Before you ask your friends the Golden Questions, you need to let them know how important they are as children of God, and then they will be more confident in themselves. Even if they don’t join the Church, they know that you care about them.

NEW ERA: I’ve invited my friend to Sunday School with me next week. I want the ward members to be especially warm and friendly, and I want the Sunday School lesson to be appropriate. What should I do?

BRIAN: With the young men, I think one of the best ways is to clue your quorum members in about it. Through your quorum the message gets out pretty fast.

WANDA: I remember one time when my class wasn’t acting the way I would like them to. I told them that I had thought about bringing a nonmember, but I just didn’t think that she would get a very good impression of our church from the way they were acting. I think it might be a good idea to tell your class beforehand when you’re bringing a friend. And you can talk to the teacher about it too so he can think about it during the week.

JEFF: I agree. I think it would be a good idea to suggest to your teacher that you are bringing a nonmember friend so that he can gear the lesson to that. In our ward we’ve even had people come in and give missionary discussions for lessons, and it has really worked well.

WAYNE: An interesting episode happened in Las Vegas when we lived down there about five years ago. On instructions from the bishop, a returned missionary dressed up as a hippie and was taken to a ward gathering. Everyone shunned him. He had all these beads on and jeans and flowers. Nobody sat next to him. Then the bishop got up and welcomed the visitors. He introduced this returned missionary. Everyone was embarrassed. Ever since then, everyone who has come to that ward has been welcomed warmly.

NEW ERA: I come from a community where there are quite a few Mormons. We have a lot of fun together and really care about each other. There’s one drawback, however. The nonmembers feel left out and have sort of formed their own little group. How can we change this and make them feel included without losing our closeness?

BARBARA: I have a friend I am really close to at school. We were both trying out for something. We worked together, and helped each other, and we even prayed for each other. Then talking with her the other day, I found out she isn’t a member of our church. She is a Buddhist! I was so surprised! The whole time I had been treating her like a Mormon. We had become really close; she came up to me one day, started crying, and told me how much she appreciated me. And I thought, if we could only treat everyone as if he were a member, then we’d have no problems.

WYNN: I think that a lot of times when we are trying to fellowship nonmembers, we are friends with them and all that, and then as soon as they are baptized or as soon as they get interested in the Church, we leave them. First of all, before we even think about baptism, we should be friends, not just at church meetings, but during school and all the other activities we are involved in with friends. If all the kids in the group do this together, they won’t lose their closeness.

SCOTT: I often see in communities that are predominantly LDS that the non-LDS people will develop a kind of negative attitude toward the Church. As a result, sometimes there are negative comments made. I think that it is sometimes up to us to ignore some of the things that are said. Too often our friendship is kind of conditional: if you’re interested in our church, I’ll be your friend, but if you’re not, I don’t want anything to do with you. I think friendship has to be born out of concern for people. Nonmembers are human beings, and we should treat them as such. We need to practice fellowshipping to interest them in the Church, but if they are not interested, we need to practice friendshipping so that they will feel they are members of the community.

NEW ERA: I love the Lord and the Church, but I am really shy about talking to my friends about it. Is there something a person like me can do to share the gospel?

BARBARA: Sometimes I get scared even though I would like to share the gospel. I think the easiest way is to smile. I was told that your testimony shines in everything you do. Smiling is a testimony that life’s okay and you are happy. So when I get scared, I just smile.

BRIAN: Many times your example says more than your words. It’s surprising how much people watch what you are doing. Another thing, in the missionary program they sometimes ask people to write their testimonies on a piece of paper and then have their picture taken. They then put these on the inside front cover of copies of the Book of Mormon. If you have a friend who might be interested, the missionaries could take the book with your testimony in it when they visit your friend.

RANDY: You might be afraid to tell your friends about the Church, but why not show them that you have an interest? If you go to special firesides and are busy with Church activities, they will think there must be something good there. Why else would you spend that much time at it?

SCOTT: You could do something for the person you think might be interested. Maybe you could leave him a little note in his car saying, “I care about you,” or “I appreciate you,” or you could leave him a cupcake. You can do this as a secret friend, and then maybe after you feel that he is expecting something good, you could leave a Book of Mormon.

WANDA: I was thinking of something to give my friend for Christmas, something that would be really meaningful, and I decided to give her a subscription to the New Era. If you’re shy and you don’t think you can really explain the gospel yourself, I think the New Era is a good idea. Also, if you have trouble explaining things yourself, ask your parents to help and invite your friends for family night. I know my parents really know how to explain things because they understand it better than I do.

JEFF: Good idea! Don’t try to carry the whole world yourself. There’s plenty of help around. All you have to do is ask.

NEW ERA: The only other Latter-day Saint in my school is not a very good example of what a Mormon should be. Whenever I try to share my love for the Church with my friends, they always say, “Look at Ralph. Mormons are no different from anybody else.” How should I answer them?

WANDA: I think one thing we need to explain is that sure, we should be better, but not everyone acts the way he should. You can’t judge the principles of the gospel by the people who aren’t living them.

SCOTT: You could point out that since this church is the true church, Satan is probably trying harder to stop others from looking into it.

WYNN: You could maybe say, “Your little brother is a terror. Does that make you bad?” With people there always seem to be bad ones. There are some not-so-good apples in every basket. You can’t judge the Church on just the bad ones. Look at all the good people in the Church who do the right things!

LEANA: You could ask Ralph over and mention to him that he is giving people a bad impression of the Church. You could try to help him get back into the Church.

BRIAN: We are always told that if you try something yourself, if you do an experiment yourself, then you will know what works. Tell your friends that if they will live the principles of the gospel, they can find out if they are true.

NEW ERA: My friend’s parents have refused her permission to be baptized. How can I help her get through the next three years until she is old enough to be baptized without their permission?

JEFF: If her parents have refused your friend permission to be baptized, why not have the parents introduced fully to the gospel? I mean, you have to go to the root of the problem. Maybe there is some aspect of the gospel that they don’t understand. A lot of people have bad impressions of the LDS church because of hearsay. Once they understand and get to know the people, they often change their outlook. In our missionary class one thing that has really been stressed is that the Church is a family church, and we want the whole family, not just part of it.

TERESA: I have a girl friend who was just baptized this January. It was really hard for her to wait, and her parents never supported her. Her mother is a member of the Church, but her father isn’t. He was really bitter. She waited and was faithful, and since her baptism, her brothers and sisters have joined the Church too.

WYNN: If she really wants to join the Church, the Lord will help prepare a way. One of my best friends was a nonmember. At first his dad wouldn’t even listen to him talk about the gospel. He wanted to be baptized, and we told him to pray about it and keep his spirits up, and the Lord would find a way. It was interesting to see how his dad changed his attitude toward the Church when he was given a little time to think about it. In about a year my friend was baptized. Just a year before, his dad had said, “There’s no way you are going to be baptized!”

SCOTT: I would suggest to a nonmember friend a program of regular scripture study, especially the Book of Mormon because that’s the book that can really build testimony. I would also suggest regular attendance at Church meetings. That helps so much to keep your attitudes and your thoughts what they should be.

WANDA: Sometimes parents forbid kids to attend meetings. If that happens, make sure that they have Church literature—the Book of Mormon and the New Era.

NEW ERA: I don’t have any nonmember friends. How do I do missionary work?

ALAN W.: I don’t have that many nonmember friends either, but I know many members who are inactive. I think that is a kind of missionary work that’s very important.

TERESA: Sometimes there’s missionary work to be done right in your own family.

BEVERLY: I think that if you don’t have a nonmember friend, it would be easy enough to get one. There are always nonmembers around. Find one and then start fellowshipping.

BARBARA: Even if you don’t find nonmembers around—say you’re in a school with mostly members—you can help the strong members become even better. I appreciate my friends every day. They strengthen my testimony by being great people.

NEW ERA: What do I do with friends who have resisted all my efforts to interest them in the Church? Do I forget them and go on to greener pastures?

JEFF: You still have to let them know how much you care about them, even if they totally reject the Church. I have known people who try you like that. They’ll denounce the Church and everything you stand for, and if you still show them warmth and compassion, they’ll say, “Hey, why should he still care about me? I have just rejected his church and all his beliefs and have done all these things to him, and he wants to help me.” That starts people thinking.

KIM: There’s a young person in our stake who is not a member. Ever since junior high we have been trying to share the gospel with him. We have had discussions; we bear testimony. Lately he has told us to leave him alone. So we just decided to try to be good examples and let him know that we still care.

ALAN W.:You never give up on a person even if he seems to give up on you.

WANDA: I think you should always pray and ask the Lord for ways that you can help these people. Even though they lose contact with the Church, you should still be friends with them.

BARBARA: I have a friend who was so mad every time we mentioned the Church. We walked to school together each day. It was about a 20-minute walk. One day I said, “Oh, I’m so busy. I have to read this story in Sunday School, and I don’t have time to practice. Would you mind if I read my part to you while we walk to school?” And it just happened to be about a nonmember who was converted. When I got through with the story, my friend said, “You know, that was really neat how that Mormon girl kept trying with the nonmember friend even though she had a lot of hate toward the Church. It was good that she never gave up.” And I thought, “Aha! She’s telling me something!”

JEFF: Sometimes when you go into a home to people who have never felt the Spirit before, they start to feel it and are really touched. They are learning, and they feel the Spirit, and they know the gospel is true. But often they don’t want to accept it. They don’t want to change their lives. That is why they can become really bitter for a time about it. They tell the missionaries, “Don’t come back. We don’t want you any more.” But they have felt it, and they know it’s true. If you give up, that feeling will leave them. That’s why you have to keep trying.

NEW ERA: Can a Mormon living in a non-Mormon neighborhood have an influence for good even though no one ever joins the Church?

ALAN: I think that everybody looks at you if you’re different, and your example can help a neighborhood. A group of us from my high school went on a Bicentennial tour. In all the restaurants we ate in and the hotels we stayed at people asked us where we were from and who we were.

JEFF: Often the first discussion the missionaries teach is family home evening. Even if they teach nothing more than family home evening, they will have brought that family closer together. They’ve done some good. Eventually somebody down the line might join the Church because of your good example to their grandfather or their great-grandfather.