2014
Tauhi Fānaú, Toʻo e Palakí
Sune 2014


Tauhi Fānaú, Toʻo e Palakí

Naʻe folofola e Fakamoʻuí ʻaki ha foʻi lea faingofua ʻe nima: “Vakai ki hoʻomou fānau īkí.” Ne vakai atu ʻa e kau Nīfaí ki heʻenau fānaú. Pea ko e mea ne hokó ko e taha ia e ngaahi meʻa toputapu taha ne hoko ʻi he folofolá. (Vakai, 3 Nīfai 17:23–24.)

Ne u fuofua aʻusia e “vakaí” ʻi hono fāʻeleʻi ʻema fuofua tama fefiné. Ne fakaʻaaki au ʻe heʻene tangi leʻo siʻi mo hokohoko ʻi he valenga poó, peá u teuteu ke fafanga ia ʻi heʻene hoko iá. Naʻá ne ʻāʻā pea toutou sio fakamamaʻu mai ʻi ha ngaahi taimi fuoloa mo mahuʻinga ki hoku matá. ʻI heʻema fuofua “vakai”, ne u ongoʻi ha meʻa kau ki he haʻi taʻengata te ma maʻú.

Kuo fakamoʻoniʻi ʻe he ako ki he ako ki he ngaahi neave ʻo e sinó e mahuʻinga ʻo e “vakai” ʻa e mātuʻá mo e fānaú. Fakatatau ki he toketā ki he ngaahi neave ʻo e sinó ko Toketā ʻĀlani N. Soa, ʻoku mahuʻinga ʻa e fetuʻutaki ʻo e “fesiofakí” ki he tupulaki e ʻatamai ʻo e valevalé.1 ʻI he ngaahi taʻu kimui angé, ʻoku kei mahuʻinga pē ʻa e fehokotaki ko ʻení ki he tupulaki ʻo e ʻatamaí, lotó mo e laumālie ʻo ʻetau fānau ʻoku tutupu haké.

Ko e “vakaí” ʻoku ʻikai ko ha kiʻi sio pe hila pē. Ko e ngāue ke tokoni ki ha tokotaha kehe ʻaki e lotó mo e ʻatamaí. Ko hono ʻoange ʻa e faʻahinga tokanga ʻoku pehē, “ʻOku ou sio atu. ʻOkú ke mahuʻinga kiate au.”

Ki he mātuʻa he ʻaho ní, ko e faʻahinga vakai pehení ʻoku faʻa fie maʻu e mapuleʻi ke toʻo ko ha fili ʻi he faʻa fakakaukau ke tafoki mei heʻetau monitoá pea tamateʻi e ngaahi nāunau fakaʻilekitulōniká. Mahalo ʻe ʻuhinga ia ke fakafepakiʻi e ʻahiʻahi ke vakai ʻetau ngaahi fetohiʻaki he telefoní pe sio ki he ngaahi tohi ʻi he mītia fakasōsialé. Mahalo ʻe kau ai ʻa hono fokotuʻu ha ngaahi lao fakatāutaha mo fakafāmili ʻi he faʻa fakakaukau, fokotuʻu ha ngaahi fakangatangata te ne maluʻi e taimi toputapu ʻoku tau fefoakiʻaki fakaʻaho ʻi hotau fāmilí.

ʻI he feinga ke vakai kakato mo hokohoko ki heʻetau fānau valevalé, te tau fakatupulaki ʻi heʻetau fānaú ha ongoʻi mahuʻinga ʻiate kinautolu, fakatupulaki hotau vā fetuʻutakí, pea fiefia ange ʻi he ngaahi taimi toputapu ko iá ʻi heʻetau ʻilo e loto ʻo ʻetau fānaú.

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

  1. Vakai, “Relational trauma and the developing right brain: The neurobiology of broken attachment bonds,” ʻi he Tessa Baradon, ed., Relational Trauma in Infancy (2010), 19–47.

Tā fakatātaʻi ʻo e taá ʻe David Stoker