2017
Ko Hono Ohi Hake Homa Fohá ʻi ha Hoa Ngāue mo e ʻOtuá
July 2017


Ko Hono ‘Ohake Homa Fohá ʻi ha Hoa Ngāue mo e ʻOtuá

ʻOku nofo ʻa e tokotaha naʻá ne faʻú ʻi ʻIutā, USA.

ʻI heʻeku ako ke fakaʻaongaʻi e maʻuʻanga tokoni fakalaumālie ne u maʻú, ne lōmekina au ʻe he ngaahi fakakaukau kehekehe ki ha founga ke tokoniʻi ai hoku fohá mo fehangahangai mo ʻeku ngaahi faingataʻá.

ʻĪmisi
mother struggling with son

Ngaahi tā fakatātā ʻa Robert Hunt

Ko ʻeku mahino ki he tuʻunga fakaemātuʻá naʻá ku fakakaukau ki ha fānau ʻulungaanga lelei pea teunga lelei maʻu pē pea ʻikai fakalikoliko. Naʻe vave ʻeku fakatokangaʻi ko ha muna pē ʻa e mahino naʻá ku maʻú. Kuó u tali lelei ke u ongosia ʻi he fakamaau falé mo e tā ihupeʻé he ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou maʻu ai e ngaahi tāpuaki fakaofo tahá. Ka naʻe ʻikai haʻaku lavelaveʻilo ki he faingataʻa te u fekuki mo ia ʻi hono tauhi ʻeku fānaú, tautautefito ki hoku foha ko Palatí.

Naʻe fāʻeleʻi mai ʻa Palati ko ha pēpē haohaoa, ka naʻe ʻikai fuoloa mei ai ne mau fakatokangaʻi ʻene makehé. Naʻe ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo ʻalu ki he kalasi nesilií taʻe ʻalu fakataha mo hoku husepānití pe ko au koeʻuhí he naʻá ne angamālohi ʻaupito. ʻI heʻene tupu ʻo matuʻotuʻa angé pea vaʻinga mo e fānau kehé, naʻe fie maʻu ke tokangaʻi maʻu pē ia. Ko e taimi naʻá ma kumi tokoni holo aí, naʻe talamai ʻoku fie maʻu pē ke ma toe mapuleʻi ange ia ʻi he founga tatau pē. Naʻá ma feinga e meʻa kotoa pē naʻá ma fakakaukau ki aí: naʻá ma fekumi ʻi he ʻinitanetí, lau e ngaahi tohi ki he tauhi fānaú, pea fehuʻi ki he kau toketaá mo e ngaahi fāmilí. ʻI he faifai pea hū ʻa Palati ki he akó, naʻe maʻu ia ʻe he mahaki ʻo e fetōʻaki e tokangá ʻi he fuʻu longomoʻuí, pe ADHD, kae pehē foki ki he ngaahi palopalema kehe.

Ko e toki fuofua taimi ia naʻá ma ongoʻi ai ha ʻamanaki leleí. ʻE lava ke ma kamata palani hano faitoʻo he ko ʻeni kuó ma ʻiloʻi e palopalemá. Naʻá ma fakatuʻamelie ʻe sai ange ʻa Palati ki ha faitoʻo ne ʻosi ola lelei ki he niʻihi kehé. Meʻapangó, naʻe toe kovi ange e ʻulungaanga ʻo Palatí ʻi hono fakaʻaongaʻi e faitoʻó, ko ia naʻe pau leva ke taʻofi. Ne u ongoʻi naʻe mole atu e ʻamanaki leleí.

ʻI ha ʻaho ʻe taha ʻi he kei taʻu ono ʻa Palatí, ne u fāinga ai mo e taha ʻo ʻene ngaahi tekelili fakaʻahó. Naʻá ku mei loto-foʻi. Naʻe mokulukulu pē hoku loʻimatá ʻi heʻeku hū ki hoku lokí ke maʻu ha kiʻi taimi pē moʻokú. Ne u lotua ha mālohi ke u lava ai ʻo fefaʻuhi mo e founga teuteu mohe angamaheni ne hanganaki maí. Te u kātakiʻi fēfē nai hono fakahoko fakaʻaho e meʻá ni? Ne u ongoʻi hangē kuo mahulu atu ia ʻi he meʻa ne u lava ʻo kātakiʻí. Naʻe mahino nai ki he Tamai Hēvaní hono faingataʻá? Naʻá ku fakakaukau, kapau naʻá Ne ʻofa moʻoni ʻiate au te Ne toʻo ʻa e mafasia ko ʻení meiate au pea foaki ki hoku fohá ha moʻui fiemālie. Naʻe ʻākilotoa au ʻe he ngaahi fakakaukau mo e ongo ko iá pea naʻe hangē naʻe toe lahi ange e faingataʻa ne u fekuki mo iá.

Ko e Natula Totonu ʻo e Ngaahi Faingataʻá

Ne u fakakaukau kuo mahino kiate au ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá. Naʻe totonu ke tau fefaʻuhi pē mo ia ʻo hangē ha kulo ʻoku tutu he afí. Te tau hū atu hū mai pē mei he afí, pea ʻe toe foki leva e moʻuí ki he angamahení kae ʻoua kuo aʻu ki he taimi tutu hono hokó. Ka kuo laui taʻu ʻeku fefaʻuhi mo e faingataʻa ko ʻení, pea naʻe ʻikai pē haʻane mole atu ʻaʻana. Naʻá ku ongoʻi e mafatukituki ʻo e mafasiá, pea naʻe hanga ʻe he ongoʻi tuenoá ʻo fakavaivaiʻi au ke u kole ha tokoni.

Naʻá ku ʻiloʻi leva ko e feituʻu ke u ʻalu ki ai ke u maʻu ha fiemālie mo ha mahinó ko e temipalé. Naʻe ueʻi au ke u ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau fili e ngaahi faingataʻa te tau fekuki mo ia ʻi he moʻui fakamatelié ni pe ko e hā hono fuoloá. Ko e meʻa te tau lava ʻo mapuleʻí ko e anga ʻetau fakakaukaú mo ʻetau fakafōtunga ʻi he taimi ʻe hoko ai e ngaahi faingataʻá.

Ne u ʻiloʻi ko e ʻuhinga ne u fakaʻofaʻia ai pē ʻiate aú he naʻá ku tuku e fakaʻofaʻia pē ʻiate kitá ke kāpui ʻeku fakakaukaú. Ko e fuofua meʻa ne u fakakaukau ke fakahokó ko hono taʻofi e ngaahi fakakaukau fakalotosiʻí, hangē ko e “ʻOku taʻe totonu ʻeni,” “He ʻikai ke u lavaʻi ia ʻe au,” “Ko e hā ʻoku ʻikai maʻu ai ʻe Palati e ʻulungaanga totonú?” pe ko e kovi tahá, “Ko ha faʻē kovi moʻoni au.” Ne u feinga mālohi ke taʻofi ʻa e leʻo fakatuʻatamaki ʻi heʻeku fakakaukaú, pea ne u ʻiloʻi ʻoku kātaki mo angaʻofa lahi ange hoku leʻo totonú ʻi he taimi ne u fekuki ai mo ʻeku fānaú.

Ne u toe poupouʻi foki mo e fakakaukau fakatuʻamelié. Ne kamata ke u pehē, “ʻOkú ke fakalakalaka,” pea naʻá ku faʻa fakahikihikiʻi pē au hangē ko e “Naʻá ke lea leʻosiʻi pē ʻo ʻikai ke ke kaikaila. Tōtōatu ʻaupito ia!”

Falala ki he ʻOtuá

Hili ha ʻaho naʻe mātuʻaki faingataʻa ʻaupito, naʻá ku kole ki hoku husepānití ke ne tāpuakiʻi au. Naʻe fakamanatu kiate au lolotonga e tāpuakí ko ha ʻofefine au ʻo e ʻOtuá, ʻokú Ne ʻafioʻi ʻeku ngaahi fie maʻú, pea ko hoku fohá ko ha foha ia ʻo e ʻOtuá. Naʻe ʻuluaki hoko ʻa Palati ko ha foha ia ʻo e ʻOtuá, pea ʻoku ou hoko mo hoku husepānití ko ha hoa ngāue mo e ʻOtuá kia Palati. Naʻá ku ʻiloʻi naʻe teʻeki ke u fakaʻaongaʻi kotoa ʻa e meʻangāue kuo foaki mai ʻe he hoa ngāué. Naʻá ma fekumi mo hoku husepānití ʻo maʻu ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ke tokoniʻi kimaua, ka naʻe ngalo ʻiate kimaua ʻa e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá: ko e lotú.

Naʻe kamata leva ke u lotu fakaʻaho ki ha founga ke u lava tokoni ai kia Palati. Ko e taimi naʻá ne fefaʻuhi ai mo e loto-tekelilí, ne u fai ha kiʻi lotu nounou ke u maʻu ha ueʻi fakalaumālie kimuʻa peá u toki tokoniʻi iá. ʻI heʻeku fakafalala ki he ʻOtuá ki ha tokoni mo ha ueʻi fakalaumālié, ne kamata mahino kiate au e tuʻunga te u lava ʻo aʻusiá mo e meʻa te u lava ʻo fai maʻaná. Ne u feinga ke u muimui ki he ngaahi lea ʻa ʻAlamaá: “Pea ko hono ʻuhinga ʻeni ʻo ʻeku vīkivikí, ke u lava ʻapē ʻo hoko ko ha meʻangāue ʻi he toʻukupu ʻo e ʻOtuá” (ʻAlamā 29:9).

Naʻe hoko ha ngaahi liliu ʻi he taimi pē ko iá. Ne u mohu fakakaukau ki ha ngaahi founga te u lava ai ʻo tokoniʻi ʻa Palatí. Naʻá ku fakaʻaongaʻi e efiafi fakafāmili ‘i ʻapí ko ha meʻangāue pea lotua ha ngaahi fakakaukau ki he lēsoni ke fakahokó. Ne u lau fakamātoato ʻa e folofolá peá u ʻiloʻi ai ʻa e faleʻi māʻongoʻonga ki he founga tauhi fānaú. Naʻe kamata ke u ongoʻi moʻoni ʻa e ʻamanaki leleí mo e fiemālié.

ʻI heʻeku hokohoko atu ke maʻu ʻa e fakakaukau ʻokú ma hoa ngāue mo hoku husepānití mo e ʻOtuá ʻi hono tauhi ʻema fānaú mo fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ʻū meʻangāue kuó Ne foaki maí, naʻe fakautuutu ai pē ʻeku falala ki he ʻOtuá. Naʻá ku ʻiloʻi ʻoku fakangatangata pē ʻeku ʻilo kau ki he tauhi fānaú, ka ʻe tokoniʻi au ʻe ha Tamai Hēvani ʻofa, ʻa ia ʻokú Ne ʻilo ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē mo ʻofa ʻi hoku fohá ʻo lahi ange ʻiate aú, ke u hoko ko ha faʻē lelei mo mālohi ange. Pea neongo ʻoku ou kei fefaʻuhi pē he taimi ʻe niʻihi, ka ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi e feituʻu ke u kumi tokoni ki aí. ʻOku mahino kiate au ʻoku ʻi ai e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku ʻikai hano fakangatangata ʻona, ka ʻo kapau te u tokanga taha pē ki hono tuʻunga taʻengatá, ʻe tokoniʻi au ʻe he ʻOtuá.

Fiefia ʻi he Fanga Kiʻi Momenití

ʻĪmisi
mother smiling with son

ʻI he ngaahi taimi naʻe mātuʻaki faingataʻá, naʻá ku ako ke u fakaʻaongaʻi ha taimi ke u fiefia ai ʻi he fanga kiʻi momenití—ʻa e ngaahi meʻafoaki—ʻoku foaki maʻatautolú. ʻOku ou houngaʻia ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻikai faʻa mapukepuke ai ʻe hoku fohá ʻene fie ʻuma mai kiate aú. Ko e taimi ʻoku ou siofi ai e heka pasi hoku fohá ʻo ʻikai ha taha ke na tangutu fakatahá, naʻe tāpuekina ʻaki au ʻa e fakakaukau ki he veesi ko ʻení: “Te u muʻomuʻa ʻi homou ʻaó. Te u ʻi homou nima toʻomataʻú pea ʻi homou toʻohemá, pea ʻe ʻi homou lotó ʻa hoku Laumālié, pea ʻe takatakai ʻa kimoutolu ʻe heʻeku kau ʻāngeló, ke poupouʻi hake ʻa kimoutolu” (T&F 84:88). Naʻá ku ʻiloʻi naʻe ʻikai pea he ʻikai ʻaupito ke teitei tuenoa ʻa Palati.

Ko ha fāmili taʻengata kimautolu, pea ʻi he tokoni ʻa e niʻihi kehé mo e tauhi ʻo ha Tamai Hēvani ʻofa, ʻoku ou lava ai ke houngaʻia ʻi he fanga kiʻi meʻafoaki iiki ʻoku foaki fakaʻaho mai kiate aú mo ongoʻi e fiefia mo e nēkeneka ʻoku totonu ke mau maʻú. Pea ʻi he fanga kiʻi tāpuaki iiki ko iá mo e tokoni ʻa e ʻEikí, te u lava ai ʻo aʻusia e tuʻunga ʻoku totonu ke u aʻusiá, neongo pe ko e hā hono fuoloá.