2023
ʻOku Tokoni pe Uesia Nai Koe ʻe Hoʻo Ngaahi Tōʻonga Moʻui Matuʻuakí?
ʻAokosi 2023


“ʻOku Tokoni pe Uesia Nai Koe ʻe Hoʻo Ngaahi Tōʻonga Moʻui Matuʻuakí?,” Liahona, ʻAokosi 2023.

Kakai Lalahi Kei Talavoú

ʻOku Tokoni pe Uesia Nai Koe ʻe Hoʻo Ngaahi Tōʻonga Moʻui Matuʻuakí?

Naʻá ku fakakaukau naʻe tokoniʻi au ʻe heʻeku ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui naʻe koví, ka naʻe taʻofi ai au mei he laka ki muʻa ʻi he moʻuí.

ʻĪmisi
fakatātā ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí

He ʻikai Lava ʻo Hoko ha Fakatamaki ʻi he Ofi Hoku Fakafiemālié, tā fakatātā ʻa Michael Malm, ʻikai lava ʻo hiki hano tatau

Naʻá ku tupu hake ʻo fakakaukau ko e ngaahi ongo taʻe-fakafiemālie hangē ko e loto-mamahí mo e ʻitá ko ha meʻa ia ke ilifiaʻi, fakafepakiʻi, mo fakaʻehiʻehi mei ai. Ka ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku hoko kotoa ʻetau ngaahi ongó ko ha konga ʻo ʻetau aʻusia fakamatelié. Pea ko ha kau faiako mo e fakaʻaiʻai lelei kinautolu ke tokoniʻi kitautolu ke tau tupulaki. Naʻe akoʻi ʻe ʻEletā Niila A. Mekisuele (1926–2004) ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá ʻo pehē, “ʻOku ʻomi ʻe he moʻui fakamatelié ha ngaahi faingamālie lahi ke tau hoko ai ʻo anga faka-Kalaisi ange: ʻuluakí, ʻaki ʻetau lavaʻi lelei ʻa e … ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo e moʻuí.1

ʻOku tau fiemaʻu kotoa ha ngaahi meʻangāue ke tokoniʻi kitautolu ʻi heʻetau fehangahangai mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo e moʻuí pea mo e ngaahi ongo ʻoku fekauʻaki mo iá. Ko e ngaahi founga matuʻuakí ko ha ngaahi sīpinga ia ʻo e ʻulungaanga ʻoku tau fakaʻaongaʻi ke tokoniʻi kitautolu ke fehangahangai mo e ngaahi tūkunga fakamafasiá mo e ngaahi ongo taʻe-fakafiemālié. ʻE lava ke kau ai ha ngaahi meʻa hangē ko hono tohoakiʻi koe mei hoʻo ngaahi palopalemá pe talanoaʻi ha palopalema mo ha kaungāmeʻá.2

ʻI he konga lahi ʻo ʻeku moʻuí, naʻá ku feinga ke mapuleʻi ʻeku ngaahi ongó, hangē ko hono tohoakiʻi ʻeku tokangá mei he ngaahi ongo faingataʻá pe tekeʻi kinautolu ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fehangahangai mo kinautolú. Naʻá ku fakatupulaki ʻi hoku taʻu hongofulu tupú ha ngaahi founga matuʻuaki ne ʻikai lelei hangē ko e pīkitai ki he haohaoá koeʻuhí naʻá ku fakakaukau kapau he ʻikai ke u fakahoko ha ngaahi fehalaaki, te u lava ʻo fakaʻehiʻehi mei he loto-mamahí. Naʻe ʻikai foki ke u teitei kole ha tokoni koeʻuhí ko ʻeku manavasiʻi ʻi he fakamafasia ki he kakai kehé.

Ka naʻe fāifai peá u ʻiloʻi ko e ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui naʻe fuoloa ʻeku maʻu ke fakafepakiʻi ʻaki ʻe loto-mafasiá pe loto-hohaʻá, naʻe uesia ai au kae ʻikai ke tokoni. Naʻá ku fakatokangaʻi naʻe fiemaʻu ke u ako ʻa e founga ke fehangahangai ai mo hoku ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá pea matuʻuaki ia ʻi ha ngaahi founga lelei ange.  Naʻe fiemaʻu ha fakakaukauloto, fakatotolo, mo e fakaangaanga ke tukuange ʻa e ngaahi founga matuʻuaki kovi kuó u fakaʻaongaʻi ʻi he kuohilí. Kuó u maʻu ha mahino lahi ange ki he founga ʻe lava ke tokoniʻi ai au ʻe he Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí ke u liliu pea hoko “ko e fakatupu foʻou” (2 Kolinitō 5:17) ʻi he tokoni ʻa Kalaisí. ʻOku ou ako he taimí ni ke matuʻuaki ʻa e ngaahi ongo faingataʻá ʻi ha founga ʻe tokoni ke u fakaʻaongaʻi ai hoku ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá ke u hoko ʻo anga faka-Kalaisi ange.

Ko Hono Fakatupulaki ʻa e Ngaahi Founga Matuʻuaki ʻoku Leleí

Ko e palopalema mo e ngaahi founga matuʻuaki ʻoku ʻikai leleí ʻoku nau fakahoko ha tokoni taimi nounou, ka ʻe lava ke toe kovi ange ʻa e ngaahi palopalemá ʻi he lele lōloá. ʻE lava ke iku ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga fakaʻehiʻehí ki he maʻunimā pea mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku tohoakiʻi ʻaki ʻetau tokangá ʻo faingataʻa ange ai ke ke matuʻuaki hoʻo ngaahi palopalemá.

Ko e ngaahi founga matuʻuakí ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke tohoakiʻi ai koe mei he moʻoní pe fakaʻehiʻehi mei ha palopalema ʻokú ke fehangahangai mo ia. Ka te nau lava ʻo tokoni atu ke fakaivia koe, tokanga, fakamanatu atu ho tuʻunga fakatāutahá, mo maʻu ʻa e ongoʻi mapuleʻi ʻoku fiemaʻu ke fehangahangai ai mo e ngaahi tūkunga mo e ngaahi ongo ʻokú ke maʻú.3

ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻo e moʻui lelei fakaeʻatamaí, ʻoku meimei ke ʻi ai ha faʻahinga ʻe ua ʻo e ngaahi founga matuʻuaki ʻoku leleí: tuʻunga ʻi he palopalemá (ngāue ke fakaleleiʻi hoʻo ngaahi palopalemá) mo e tuʻunga ʻi he ongó (liliu hoʻo fakakaukaú kimuʻa pea toki ngāue ki hoʻo ngaahi palopalemá ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei ha tali ʻoku tuʻunga ʻi he manavasiʻí). ʻE lava ke hangē ʻa e matuʻuaki tuʻunga ʻi he palopalemá ko hano faʻu ha patiseti kapau ʻokú ke foua ʻa e mafasia fakapaʻangá. Ko e matuʻuaki tuʻunga ʻi he ongó ʻe malava pē ko hono tuku ha taimi ke fakamālohisino pe fanongo ki ha fasi fakanonga ke fakaakeake mei ha ʻaho faingataʻa.

ʻI heʻeku hoko ko e tokotaha muimui ʻo Kalaisí, ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou fakafalala lahi ange ki he ngaahi founga matuʻuaki ʻoku tuʻunga ʻi he meʻa fakalaumālié. ʻI he hoko mai ʻa e ngaahi taimi faingataʻá, ko hono pukepuke ko ia ha fakakaukau ʻoku taʻengatá, tafoki ki he ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni langaki moʻuí, mo e falala ki he tui kia Sīsū Kalaisí ʻoku mahuʻinga tatau pē ia mo e ngaahi founga matuʻuaki kehé ʻi hono fakaivia koe ke tokoni ke ke fepaki mo e ngaahi faingataʻá.

ʻOku ʻaonga ʻa e faʻahinga kotoa pē ki he ngaahi tūkunga kehekehe pea ʻe lava pē ke fakatahaʻi.

Ko ha ngaahi sīpinga ʻeni ʻe niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi founga matuʻuaki lelei te ke lava ʻo ʻahiʻahiʻí:

Tuʻunga ʻi he Meʻa Fakalaumālié:

  • Tafoki ki he ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni langaki moʻui ʻoku ʻomi ai koe ke ke ofi ange kia Kalaisí, hangē ko e folofolá, ngaahi lea konifelenisí, mo e ngaahi himí

  • Ko hono lau ho tāpuaki fakapēteliaké ke maʻu ha toe fakakaukau ʻoku taʻengatá

  • Lotua mo fakalaulauloto ki he meʻa ʻe ala feinga ʻa e ʻOtuá ke tokoniʻi koe ke ke akó

  • Ko hono tokoniʻi ʻa e niʻihi kehé ʻi hono fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi ouau fakatemipalé, ʻave ha meʻatokoni ki he kaungāʻapí, pe fakahoko ʻa e ngāue hisitōlia fakafāmilí

Tuʻunga ʻi he Palopalemá:

  • Ko hono faʻu ha lisi ke fakahoko mo hono fakahoko tahataha e ngaahi ngāué

  • Fokotuʻu ha ngaahi fakangatangata ʻoku leleí, hangē ko e tali ʻikai ki he ngaahi kole ʻoku nau fakatupu e loto mafasia ʻoku ʻikai fiemaʻú

  • Fakaangaanga ʻa e mapuleʻi lelei ange ʻo e taimí ʻaki hono faʻu ʻa e ngaahi lisi ke fakahokó, fokotuʻu ʻa e taimí, pe fakangatangata ʻi hoʻo ngaahi meʻangāué

  • Kole ha tokoni mei he niʻihi ʻokú ke ʻofa aí, kaungā ngāué, kau taki ʻo e Siasí, mo e ngaahi kaungāmeʻa falalaʻangá

Tuʻunga ʻi he Ongó:

  • Fakahoko ha meʻa angamaheni ki hono tokangaekina pē kitá ʻo hangē ko e fakamālohisinó, feohi mo e niʻihi ʻokú ke ʻofa aí, pe kaukau

  • Ko hono fakaangaanga ʻa e manavaʻofa kiate kitá ʻaki hono fakamanatu kiate koe ʻoku fepaki e taha kotoa mo ha ngaahi ʻaho ʻoku ʻikai lelei pea fefaʻuhi mo e ngaahi ongo faingataʻa

  • Fakaangaanga ʻa e faʻa fakakaukaú ʻaki ʻa e fakakaukaulotó, faʻu ha lisi houngaʻia, pe tohi ʻi hoʻo tohinoá

  • Ui ha kaungāmeʻa ke talanoa ki ai mo tokoni ke ke vakai ki he ngaahi meʻá mei ha fakakaukau ʻoku kehe

ʻĪmisi
fakaʻilonga ʻo ha taha ʻoku luelue, laukonga, mo lotu

Ko Hono Liliu Hoʻo Ngaahi Tōʻonga Moʻuí

ʻOku ʻikai hoko ʻa e liliu ʻo e tōʻonga moʻuí ʻi he pō pē ʻe taha, ka ʻoku mahuʻinga ke ako ha ngaahi founga foʻou mo lelei ke matuʻuaki ai ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá. Ko e taimi kotoa pē ʻokú ke fili ai ha tali ʻoku lelei angé, ʻoku faingofua ange leva ʻa e moʻuí, pea te ke loto vilitaki fakaeloto, lavameʻa, mo anga faka-Kalaisi ange.

Ko ha ngaahi fokotuʻu ʻeni ʻe niʻihi kuo nau tokoniʻi au ke fakatupulaki ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui lelei ange ʻe ala tokoni kiate koé:

Falala ki he Tamai Hēvaní mo Sīsū Kalaisi ke maʻu ha tokoni. Naʻe pehē ʻe Sisitā Lepeka L. Kuleiveni, ko e Tokoni Ua ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī Lahi ʻo e Kau Finemuí: “ʻOku foaki mai kiate kitautolu ʻa e mālohi ke fakahoko ha ngaahi liliu tuʻuloa ʻo fakafou ʻia Sīsū Kalaisi. ʻI heʻetau tafoki loto-fakatōkilalo kiate Iá, te Ne fakalahi ʻa ʻetau malava ke liliú.”4 ʻOku fie tokoniʻi kitautolu ʻe he ʻOtuá ke tau ako. Naʻa mo e taimi ʻoku tau toe foki ai ki he ngaahi tōʻonga motuʻá pe tukulolo ki he ngaahi ʻahiʻahí, ʻe lava ke fakafiemālieʻi kitautolu ʻi heʻetau ʻilo he ʻikai ke Ne tuku ke tau faingataʻaʻia toko tahá.

Te tau lava ʻo ikunaʻi ʻetau ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui koví pea fakahoko ha liliu tuʻuloa ʻo fakafou ʻi hotau Fakamoʻuí. Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Lāsolo M. Nalesoni ʻo pehē:

“ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻa e ikunaʻi ia ʻo māmaní ke tau hoko ʻo haohaoa ʻi he moʻuí ni, pe ʻe puli fakafokifā kotoa hoʻo ngaahi palopalemá—he ʻikai ke pehē ia. ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ia he ʻikai ke ke kei fai ha fehalaaki. Ka ʻoku ʻuhinga hono ikuʻi ʻa māmaní, ʻe tupulekina ho ivi ke tekeʻi ʻa e angahalá. ʻE molū ange ho lotó ʻi he tupulaki hoʻo tui kia Sīsū Kalaisí [vakai, Mōsaia 5:7]. …

“… Ko e taimi kotoa pē te ke feinga ai pea mo muimui ki he ueʻi ʻa e Laumālié, ko e taimi kotoa pē te ke fai ai ha meʻa lelei—ha ngaahi meʻa he ʻikai fai ʻe he ʻtangata fakakakanó,ʼ—ko hoʻo ikuʻi ia ʻa māmaní.”5

Manatuʻi naʻe ʻi ai ha ʻuhinga hoʻo fakahoko e ngaahi tōʻonga moʻuí. He ʻikai te ke hokohoko atu ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga koví kapau naʻe ʻikai ke nau tokoniʻi koe ʻi ha faʻahinga founga, neongo kapau ko e “tokoni” ko iá ko ha ongoʻi fiefia pe malu ʻoku loi. Hangē ko ʻení, naʻe tokoniʻi au ʻe heʻeku ngaahi fakahehema ke haohaoá ke u fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fehangahangai mo ʻeku manavasiʻí ʻi he ʻikai ke u fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu ʻa e niʻihi kehé.

Ka ʻi heʻeku tukuange ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu ko iá, ne u ongoʻi maʻamaʻa ange! ʻI hoʻo fakatokangaʻi ʻa e palopalema ʻokú ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei ai ʻi hoʻo ngaahi founga matuʻuaki ʻoku ʻikai leleí, te ke lava ʻo faʻu ha palani lelei ange ke fekuki ai mo hoʻo ngaahi ongó.

ʻE lava ke tokoni hoʻo fehuʻi loto ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi ko ʻení ke ke ʻiloʻi ai koe peá ke tali ʻi ha founga kehe:

  • Ko e hā ʻa e fiemaʻu ʻoku feinga ʻa e tōʻonga moʻui kovi ko ʻení ke fakakakató?

  • Ko e hā ʻa e ongo ʻoku tokoni ʻa e tōʻonga moʻui ko ʻení ke u fakaʻehiʻehi mei aí?

  • Ko e hā ha fili lelei ange te u lava ʻo ʻahiʻahi ke fakalato ʻa e fiemaʻu ko iá?

ʻAi ke faingamālie ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui ʻoku leleí. ʻAi ʻa e founga matuʻuaki leleí ko e fili faingofua taha ke fakahokó ʻaki hono toʻo ʻa e ngaahi ʻahiʻahi pe ngaahi faingataʻa kehé. Naʻe vahevahe ʻe he palōfesa ʻo e ʻUnivēsiti ko Pilikihami ʻIongí ha talanoa ki ha talavou naʻá ne faleʻi ʻa ia naʻe fefaʻuhi mo e ponokalafí ko ha founga matuʻuaki. Naʻe ʻiloʻi ʻe he tangatá naʻá ne moʻulaloa ange ki he ʻahiʻahí ʻi he taimi naʻá ne toko taha aí, loto-mafasiá, pe helaʻiá, ko ia naʻá ne fakaʻehiʻehi ai mei he ngaahi meʻangāue fakaʻilekitulōniká ʻi he ngaahi taimi ko iá peá ne feinga ke tafoki ki he tohinoá, mohé, lau folofolá, mo e fakamālohisinó.6 Fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻe lelei kiate koé pea ʻai ke maʻu ngofua ʻa e ngaahi fili ʻoku lelei angé!

Angaʻofa pē kiate koe. Ko e konga ʻo e hoko ko e tangatá ko e tōnounou neongo ʻetau fakahoko hotau lelei tahá. ʻOku ʻikai fiemaʻu ia ke fakahaohaoaʻi hoʻo taukei matuʻutakí ʻi ha ʻaho pē ʻe taha. Ko e meʻa mahuʻingá ʻa e fakaangaangá! ʻE lava ke tau hangē ko Nīfaí, ʻa ia naʻá ne pehē fekauʻaki mo ʻene feinga ke tohi ʻa e folofola toputapú, “Pea ko ʻeni, kapau ʻoku ʻi ai haʻaku fai hala … koeʻuhi ko e ngaahi vaivai ʻa ia ʻoku ʻiate aú, ʻo fakatatau ki he kakanó, ko ia ʻoku ou fakatonuhiaʻi ai au” (1 Nīfai 19:6).

ʻOku fiemaʻu ha taimi lahi ki he liliú, pea ʻoku ou kei ako pē ke matuʻuaki ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá ʻi ha founga ʻoku leleí. Ka kuó u ʻosi mamata ʻo fakafou ʻi he tuí, faʻa kātakí, mo e fakaangaangá, ki ha ngaahi fakalakalaka lahi ʻi he founga ʻoku ou matuʻuaki ai ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá. ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi ʻi hoʻo tafoki kia Kalaisí pea tui te ke lava ʻo tupulakí, te ke lava ʻo fakatupulaki ha ngaahi tōʻonga moʻui lelei ange ʻe tokoni atu ke ke moʻui melino ange mo fakapotopoto.

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

  1. Neal A. Maxwell, “Apply the Atoning Blood of Christ,” Ensign, Nov. 1997, 22.

  2. Allaya Cooks-Campbell, “How Coping Mechanisms Help Us Manage Difficult Emotions and Situations,” BetterUp, Feb. 22, 2022, betterup.com/blog/coping-mechanisms.

  3. Amy Morin, “Healthy Coping Skills for Uncomfortable Emotions,” Verywell Mind, Sept. 6, 2022, verywellmind.com/forty-healthy-coping-skills.

  4. Rebecca L. Craven, “Hokohoko Atu ʻa e Liliú,” Liahona, Nōvema 2020, 59.

  5. Russell M. Nelson, “Ikuʻi ʻa Māmani mo Maʻu ha Fiemālie,” Liahona, Nōvema 2022, 96–97.

  6. Vakai, Jason Whiting, “Founga Te Tau Lava ai ʻo Ikunaʻi ha Māmani Fonu ʻi he Holi Koví,” Liahona, Sune 2022, 18–19.